Aibu to ask if boy toddlers are harder work than girls?

[milkyman]

i have a boy and someone told me today that they are glad they have a girl. Aibu to be a bit offended about this?

Or is it just personality?

I think 'what you know' clouds your judgement.
I have 2 wonderful dds and from what I see of others the boys seem hard work.
However, a poster upthread has said she has 2 easy boys, and from what she sees of others the girls are hard work.
I have a friend with 2 boys who was ranting about another friend whose dd was'telling tales' on her boys who we're making dinosaur noises. I was nodding away whilst inwardly thinking ' I fucking hate it when (mostly)boys make rarring noises.'
I guess cos I'm not used to it.

Oh toddler ds was a total dream compared to toddler dd.

Ime, boys easier at every stage.

Seems like those I know, combined with my kids and stories I've heard boys are:

1. More often better sleepers as babies as bigger with better digestion.

1. They seem less frustrated with their limitations as toddlers and small children and are thus more relaxed

1. They interact on a simpler level at school and have fewer or less serious fallings out

1. They are less difficult as teenagers as they don't have the same hormonal upheavals to deal with.

That is all a massive generalisation and undoubtedly has more exceptions that you can count / name. That is just the experience of people I know generally. Might not be your experience but it does suggest boys are not universality an unmitigated nightmare.

I say this from the point of view of someone who absolutely loves girls and thinks they are fabulous and fascinating. However they can have a harder time of it themselves and thus (not in all cases) be harder work.

Sorry for terrible English - kept having to break off!

I have two boys and they have been complete opposites in most ways from day one. I think parents with experience of only one gender look at the opposite gender and think to themselves "what the frig would you do with that" when reality is, it's not the gender but the fact that it's an entirely different human being raised by entirely different family dynamics, so it's bound to be different.

The DCs are 9 and 4 and their toddler years were lovely. Essentially I think most toddlers are like little dogs; they need loads of fuss, loads of exercise, loads of praise and loads of good food. People laugh when I tell them my theory, but I stand by it. People just enjoy judging other's parenting wins/fails. Me, I'm just glad if we make it to 8pm and everyone's alive and still sporting the same amount of limbs they woke up with.

I completely get the toddlers are like dogs thing Snapes; I say exactly the same about my boys!! Wouldn't have them any other way though. Exercise, love and food and they are happy :-)

Come to think about it, the same could be said of my DH

MN will tell you gender is a social construct, and many will offer up their boys/girls as evidence that your statement in OP is untrue.

My friends and I reckon that on the whole, until the age of 8 boys are much harder work than girls, then by 9 it changes and the mums of girls are tearing their hair out.

Gross, maybe ridiculous generalisation though! But true in my friendship group.

snapes yep, that's my theory on parenting too!

I have one of each. A mellow ds and a bonkers dd.

My gorgeous ds (8) is thoughtful, caring and kind and does anything you ask of him. Including sleeping from 6 weeks old.

Dd is 5. She didn't sleep through the night until she started school

She has thrown every conceivable tantrum. She is wilful and determined. She takes things that aren't hers. She enjoys a bit of destroying, -just yesterday she decided to gouge her name in her lovely wooden bed. She can be exhausting.

However, she too is thoughtful, caring and kind and (more or less) does anything you ask of her.

Damn, I love them!

They're all different. DD 2 (2.5) currently thinks she's spiderman. Cue climbing anything that doesn't move - sit still long enough and you're part of the climbing frame. She hasn't started launching herself off things yet so I thank the heavens for small mercies. She knows her own mind and is very determined. Nothing to do with gender - it's what she is.

Snapes exactly! same number of limbs is a bonus! When I took the knackered lads camping I had to do a head count before bed and turf out children that were obviously not mine. Down to the final four and it took a wet face flannel and some elbow grease to eliminate the others - Iam of course joking but it was a close call some nights...

I feel it was very much personality with mine - am sure that if they were girls they would be broadly similar...

DD was eldest by three years, climbed before she could walk - at 10 months.
Climbed out of baby walker and was found tottering on the (inside) windowsill, before she could walk. Climbed out of her cot, before she could walk. Dreadful tantrums as a toddler. Didn't sleep though until she was three.
DS never climbed a thing in his life, laid back, slept through at two months, walked at 12 months.

My mum's best friend had a DS 11 days older than me. I was the much more difficult child. I walked early, talked non stop and destroyed everything I could find. He sat and played quietly. As kids I would get distracted and run off, my parents lost me a quiet few times.

DD is much harder work than her male cousin. He's quiet and she's a mini tornado climbing on everything and shouting. It's definitely down to personality.

Happy. You could be me. I've found the teen age years a doddle. My dd is like good company too Just like your ds. I used to think when she was little Oh God how will I manage the teenage years but I'm flying through them. FX she stays like that, well behaved ect, she's never really gave me any problems but
I had the a nightmare pregnancy, and you know what they say. Nightmare pregnancy. Dream child.
Milky. I would imagine it is all About personality. I mean not all girls sit knitting and making daisy chains and not all boys are Into football. Best example I can give is ainf of friend of mine used to go to the football match with her dad while her brother would go shopping with the mum. Which strongly proves my point about personality and interests rather that gender. Also I am Not surprised you're peeved when someone is saying glad I had a girl when you hAve a boy. Absolutely that is going to make you get on the defensive and think. Hey what's wrong with boys.

In my experience, although I just think it is luck not the child's sex, girls have been harder. Tantrums and whinging much worse with t h e girls.

It's luck of the draw I think. My DD was hard work until about 11 years old! She still has her moments but since then she's been a lot easier. Opposite with DS who is now 12 and into stroppy pre-teendom in a big way .

Personality! Dd is, and always was a whirlwind. Needs constant interaction, never ending energy, talk, motion and mischief. Ds is calmer, will sit and concentrate on things, will chill out for a while if tired and even nod off every now and then.

So in our family, dd is the dog!

DD was a breeze. I believed I was a perfect mother. Then ds1 came along and I realised I was just lucky with DD. He didn't sleep or eat well and had terrible tantrums and was very lively. He was cute as a button though, which made it harder sometimes because others would excuse his behaviour. DS2 was easier than DS1 but definitely had his moments.

Fast forward to the teenage years, DS1 is the most laid back kid you could ask for and DD (19) has tantrums over everything that doesn't go her way.

I had the same in reverse. NCT friend saying she was glad to have two boys as girls such hard work how would she know. They are all 'hard work' at different stages. Don't worry, their dd will challenge them in other ways at other times, they al do.
However I think it is a bit tactless to say "I'm glad to have a boy/girl" to someone of who has dc of opposite sex.

I'd go for personality too. I've got three girls and a boy and he was the easiest of the lot. I have very feisty girls. The eldest and feistiest now has two kids of her own - one of each. Her little boy is quite relaxed, but her daughter is just like her. I call her the hurricane.

Definitely agree that birth order plays a part as they arrive into different circumstances and existing routines/expectations from previous DC perhaps.

I personally find my DD much easier than DS but that's because DS is a completely different character as opposed to being down to his gender.

I don't know as I only have a 2.8 yo DD but she is bloody hard work so I would guess at personality

I have a dd aged 4 and a ds aged 2 - very similar in personality, no major differences.
Some minor things are that my son is fascinated by cars, buses, trucks, etc. I (and my dd.) have zero interest in vehicles! This isn't an interest I encourage as such as I find it reaaaaaalllly boring - but if we're going anywhere he will point out every truck along the way.
And my dd loves rules - making them, following them, telling people them....
I do think birth order is very important - I reckon the younger in a family are always going to be seen as a bit mischievous (whatever the gender) as they can wind up older ones and are exposed to more at a younger age.

My DS was an easy toddler but a difficult preschooler.