Aibu to ask if boy toddlers are harder work than girls?

[milkyman]

i have a boy and someone told me today that they are glad they have a girl. Aibu to be a bit offended about this?

Or is it just personality?

DS2 is definitely more hard work than DS1 had been so far. DS2 is the more stereotypically "boyish" of the two - loud, boisterous, afraid of nothing, hits, bites, but he's a charmer with a cheeky smile. DS1 loves craft (DS2 eats craft!), stubborn, bright, can be wary of animals/people/scary looking shadows!

Their personalities have sod all to do with the fact they're boys and everything to do with them being individuals, who may have inherited a few of our characteristics and are being shapes by this and their life experiences. It's like saying all blondes are bubbly and all redheads are fiery. Load of cobblers.

Personality def. And can be harder in different ways. My friends wee girl is chatty, wilful and demands constant attention, where my toddler is very active but more likely to hit or push

I have a boy and a girl.
In terms of my own experience, I'd say this:
My ds was hard work in the sense that he needed lots and lots of exercise. He wouldn't sit still. This was tiring as it meant we had to go out everyday somewhere he could run! He hated sitting still and it exhausted me!
My dd was always happy to stay at home and do crafts and more peaceful quiet activities. She was much more able to sit still.
However, my dd had tantrums and was always much more clingy to me which was hard work as if we went out anywhere, my ds would be running off, making friends with other kids and generally being independent, whereas my dd would be clinging onto me!
Obviously all children are individuals but I do think boys in general are a lot more physical and in need of exercise which makes them seem hard work!

I only have a boy but I don't think he is any harder than a girl, from what I have seen from cousins and girls at toddler groups.

My ds is a pretty happy and laidback kid but God he is so completely active and boisteous. Always wanting to kick a ball, play fight and generally climb everything. He is a constant source of bumps and bruises. Last week he got himself a black eye from trying to climb up a shed and failing. I imagine many A&E visits as he grows up! He won't sit down and do one task for more than 10 minutes.

But that's just him and not because he is a boy. I think all children are different and one gender is no easier than the other.

All toddlers are a pain in the backside.

I've got one at the moment, he's currently taking everything out of the cutlery drawer and putting it on my lap.

Horrible stage

These generalisations irritate me. It's down to personality/genes and a little bit of upbringing.

It's bollocks I have b/g twins and my girl is much harder work. Just their personalities.

DS2 is much more challenging than DS1 was. Both boys. It depends on personality and has nothing to do with being male or female.

My DS1 would happily sit and do craft for hours when young, now he will happily takes himself off with a book. He enjoys sport but is very disciplined, as with everything and doesn't start bouncing off the walls if we have a day in.

DD is a force of energy, climbed everything as a toddler, now does gymnastics 24/7, constantly legs flying somewhere, asking people to challenge her to do more and more dangerous stuff. How she has not broken every bone I do not know. She cannot stay inside for a day, has to be out running, climbing, flinging her legs over head. Thank the lord for trampolines! She has friends who are similar and friends who are not.

DS2 is in the middle somewhere.

How rude of that person, OP. It's not true at all: all children are individuals and you can't generalise like that.

My little boy was an absolute treasure once he had grown outnof the screamy newborn stage. He never went through Terrible Twos and is very reasonable and placid.

Both my boys were a doddle compared to DD.

Both were easy going, placid, no tantrums and really well behaved. They never fought with each other They are brilliant teenagers and have never had an ounce of trouble with either of them.

My dd on the other hand was a shock to the system. Demanding, defiant and destructive. Full of energy and didn't stop for a moment during waking hours She was like the Tasmanian devil

Even now at the age of 12 if there is trouble or an argument to be had she is at the root of it. If there is a mess to made she has made it, if something gets broken its usually her that has broken it.

Not intentionally though she just doesn't give any thought to what she is doing sometimes.
She is still massively defiant and headstrong and we have often said how calm and easy going this household would be if she wasn't here.

But I don't think its because she is female its just she has a different personality.

Two of my sil's have only boys of varying ages and both have had trouble with their behaviour growing up.
Another sil has an only girl and she is a calm well mannered and well behaved.

It's down to personalities.

DS1 was an absolute dream as a baby, toddler, child and teen. He fed,slept, never tantrumed, loved reading, colouring, had a long attention spell. He could amuse himself for hours. We never knew we had him tbh. He worked hard at school, never got in to trouble, did as he was meant, never had a detention. He's 20 and he and I have never had a screaming, shouting stand up row.

DS2 was a busy boy. He wasn't boisterous or naughty, but he needed to be doing something. He hardly slept. The first time he had a tantrum, in the middle of Boots, I didn't have a clue what to do! He'd ask for a TV program, 30 secs later he'd want something else. He loves being outdoors. He's 18, he's been a joy to have as a teen, very helpful, loving and caring. He looks after me a lot (I'm disabled), but he's still easily bored and can't sit still!

The girl was hard work as she was so clingy she never left my side. Drove me mad and I was desperate for her to go and play.
The boy is the opposite, runs off at any opportunity, not really sure which of them was harder work.

I have 3 dds. Dd1 was a dream toddler who did what I asked. Dd3 is more your standard toddler. Dd2 is stubborn like I've never known possible and her tantrums would leave me bruised, bitten with chucks of my hair missing. No sen just very stubborn and hard work - but also the most cuddly and loving. During one of her tantrums in public I sat on a nearby bench while she got through the worst. A mum came up and suggested she needed a cuddle. Hmmmm at that point I would have been well and truly assaulted by the tiny ninja fighter. I waited and then gave her cuddles to help her calm down when I could tell she was ready.
What I'm saying is every dc is different and sex isn't the only factor. Not sure how relevant it is at all.
I have a df who regularly tells me my twins are easier than her ds on his own because he's a boy and into everything. ... fwiw my toddler twins were into everything too.

We have three boys all incredibly different. One never shut up but never ran around one was very placid and couldn't sit still. DD was very bloody minded.

My experience is that DS is so laid back and was so easy (he's also autistic)

DD1 was a bit of a terror at times and would be prone to trying to push her look.

DD2 can be a nightmare. She really is a threenager (a 3YO, but with the attitude of a teenager). She doesn't just try to push the boundaries she is really really stubborn. She does whatever she wants regardless if we tell her not to (or ask her to do something, if she doesn't want to do it then she wont) Im dreading her growing up TBH. She'll be the one climbing out the bedroom window to go out when we've told her not to (DD1 will just scream and slam doors, DS will shrug his shoulders and just moan a bit about being bored or whatever.

Though I have to say when DD2 is good she is very very good. There is no inbetween with her.

Not stealth boasting (honest!) but DS was a dream as a toddler. My sister has a little girl who has regular screaming fits and constantly demands to be held.

Nothing at all to do with their genders, all to do with their personalities.

Most toddlers are so knackering that by the end of the day, if you can remember their sex, you are doing well.

OP the person who said that was a smug ignorant idiot who I very much hope will have a second, feral, daughter.

I have 3 ds's all grown up now.

They were easy, placid babies who then grew into easy, placid children.

All this gender behaviour comparison is utter bollocks .

It was a stupid and insensitive thing for your smug "friend" to say OP. May she have the teenage years from hell with her DD[g

I have 2 ridiculously easy boys and some of the very worst toddler behaviour I have witnessed has been from girls (mainly tantrumming). Of course that doesn't mean that girls are harder work than boys, that is only my experience.

Completely a personality thing . My dd is far far harder work than my ds.

I've got two boys. Both pretty easy toddlers, my sister has a girl who's a handful to put it mildly

I have heard people say boys are harder when young and girls are harder as teens. Don't buy it myself, we all have our moments

I have 2 dds who are an absolute easy dream. Slept well, play quietly mostly independently, no tantrums, yes they do colour in restaurants.
I don't know about other children although of I'm honest, boys do, GENERALLY, seem busier and noisier. Not sure if that means harder tho.

In my experience they can both be hard work in different ways.

Girls can be brats, mine definitely threw a lot more tantrums, over stupid things..could be annoyingly determined to do things they just couldn't do. could be very picky.

Boys are just in about everything, climbing everything, doing things they shouldn't, hyper. so you can't take your eyes off them as much. well that's my experience.

overall though iv found boys easier.