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AIBU?

school detention?

68 replies

mumcantmakeadecision · 06/07/2015 15:59

Ds got detention today for not having his pe kit in school.
But, the school know that for the remainder of the term he is not allowed to do pe.
So he has been given detention for not taking a kit in for a subject he is not allowed to do...
Is that normal?

OP posts:

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Bunbaker · 06/07/2015 16:42

Can't he just keep his PE kit in his locker then?

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5madthings · 06/07/2015 16:43

No lockers at my boys high school, lots don't have them or don't have enough for all students.

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mumcantmakeadecision · 06/07/2015 16:44

They have pe once a week, on a Monday. he takes it in uses it then brings it home to wash. Takes in back the next Monday.

OP posts:

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MayPolist · 06/07/2015 17:02

It is a rule in my DCs school too, that trhey haveto bring their kit even if not doing PE.

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SophieJenkins · 06/07/2015 17:04

I think in your position I would ask for a meeting this week with whoever set the detention, and explain to them that you disagree with their policy and that your son won't be staying after school on Friday.

Tell them that you support their policies in almost every case but that this makes no sense.

Ask them why they need to have a PE kit in school when not taking part in PE.
I don't think they have a leg to stand on.

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TeenAndTween · 06/07/2015 19:22

Just let him do the detention, it won't kill him.

4 years in the school, and the rule has escaped his notice.

It will stand him in good stead later in life when 'ignorance is no excuse' with respect to driving rules, insurance, tax forms etc etc.

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ghostyslovesheep · 06/07/2015 19:46

DD's school they HAVE to have kit with them even if not doing PE - last week they where told no PE due to the heat - but still had to take kit

apparently it's to stop kids saying they can't do it as they have forgotten their kit

seems daft to me

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YouTheCat · 06/07/2015 19:52

Surely if kids try to get out of it by not bringing their kit, you simply provide a tub of old, manky PE kit for them to borrow. That's usually enough to make them remember.

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NickiFury · 06/07/2015 19:59

I'd rather my child learn to think and decide for himself what's important rather than follow petty, pointless rules that benefit NO ONE. I wouldn't want him to just mindlessly fill in forms later in life because that's just what he's used to doing. I want him to think and understand.

My child wouldn't do that detention.

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CrohnicallyAspie · 06/07/2015 20:01

Ah yes, the 'lost PE kit' tub. Full of everything that had ever been left in the changing rooms, and a few things that I think walked in there by themselves. Had a very interesting smell.

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Penfold007 · 06/07/2015 20:01

This was the stupid rule even when I was at school a million years ago.

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EvilTwins · 06/07/2015 20:05

It's a common rule.

As for a previous poster's comment about not liking detentions because they get in the way, of other stuff, ahem, that's the whole point.

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tobysmum77 · 06/07/2015 20:12

I'd phone the form teacher and say you/ he didn't know please can he be excused.

It might be he still has to do the detention though unless you want him to be internally excluded or something instead, it depends on the schools policy.

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toofytrub · 06/07/2015 22:44

I'd ring up and say that they need to give the detention to you as you're the one that told your ds that he didn't need to take his PE kit into school because he isn't able to do PE.

If the reason he isn't doing PE can in any shape of form be linked in some way to it not being good for him to carry any weight, so reducing the weight of the stuff he needs to carry to school is a legitimate consequence of his not being able to PE I would also make sure that I pointed this out to them and ask them to verify that their rules stipulate that children that have been legitimately signed off games and who will not need to wear their PE kit and who will suffer pain/increased recovery time/ are still expected to take their PE kit into school and lug it around with them all day to the detriment of their health. (I'm talking properly signed off for a reasonable length of time here as your ds has been rather than somebody trying this on for a day or two, although even then that should be looked at on its own merits).

I'd then ask them what their purpose is in causing additional pain and suffering to the child and how they can possibly justify this and are there any other areas within school life when they think it is acceptable to put box ticking bonkers rules above the welfare of the child.

I'd finish by saying that whilst they might want to inflict harm on your child by making him carry his pe kit when it's unnecessary then that is their right. However as his parent, you value his welfare more and as such, you are giving them notice now, that he will not have his pe kit in with him again this term and that they are not to punish him for this.

Of course, if he isn't doing games for a reason that you can't twist to work with not carrying things then you don't get to go rant mad on their jobsworth approach. But I'd still have a go at them for mad rules for kids that have been signed off pe for a reasonable length of time.

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Theycallmemellowjello · 06/07/2015 23:38

Eh it's unfair but I don't think you'd be doing him any favours by getting involved. School is a good time to learn that power is exercised arbitrarily and oppressively in society. Let him work out how to play this one.

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noblegiraffe · 07/07/2015 00:21

Parents can't overrule the school when it comes to detentions. They have no legal right.

Thing is, he didn't not bring his kit in because he was injured, he didn't bring his kit in because he didn't know he was supposed to. You can argue the injury line as an excuse for the rest of term, but regarding the detention you will just be wanting ignorance of the rules to protect from punishment for breaking them, which I imagine the PE department has come up against quite a lot and will be unsympathetic towards.

I agree that it's a stupid rule.

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SorchaN · 07/07/2015 02:08

I don't think I'd let the school punish my kid for breaking (even in ignorance) an unreasonable rule. And this rule is unreasonable.

Ignorance of a reasonable rule would be a different matter.

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turdfairynomore · 07/07/2015 02:29

Both my kids schools have this rule. And the kids don't seem to mind? My son had his right hand in a plaster/splint after a scaphoid injury he got during hockey (in school!!) & he willingly got changed-to not participate!! It seemed bizarre as he actually pretty much needed help to dress himself (couldn't fasten the waistband of his trousers, tie his tie or do buttons) but he wouldn't even consider letting me plead for mercy!! In fact his house tutor told him not to bother getting changed & that she'd clear it with PE dept but he insisted because to NOT get into kit wasn't "cool"? Kids are Weird!

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Topseyt · 07/07/2015 02:39

Of course parents have some sway over detentions. If it is after school they might be required to collect them when they would otherwise have got the bus. So the reason for the detention needs to be reasonable itself. This one isn't. It is a rule for the sake of having a rule.

If he is medically unfit for PE then he does not need his kit and nor does he need punishment.

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tobysmum77 · 07/07/2015 06:31

When I last worked in a secondary school detections were compulsory. If they were refused the child was excluded instead.

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Whichseason · 07/07/2015 06:47

Detention are compulsory. Well they are not if you choose not to send your child to a school which gives out detentions - you are not legally required to send your child to school you are required to educate them. If your child does not do a detention then they will receive another consequence, eg a day in isolation.

If you wish to hand over the education of your child to a school you can't pick and choose which bits of the school's education your child will access.

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lovesleep2 · 07/07/2015 06:52

There are many reasons for asking the children to bring pe kit, even if they aren't doing pe.

So they can umpire/referee/coach etc
Supervision requirements means the children have to go with the group unless there are exceptional circumstances (these are often few and far between, and these children should be given relevant work to do somewhere with another member of school staff eg. Library).
Because the child goes with the group, they go outside whatever the weather. If they don't get changed and it is raining, they are then in wet uniform for the day!

Imagine if everyone who didn't do pe could stay inside...every child who disliked pe would provide letter after letter to stay inside and there would be massive supervision problems. By stating that the children need to bring their kit, this problem is avoided. And often the children end up participating anyway.
In my opinion, an immediate after school detention seems harsh though...do they not at least get a warning?

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noblegiraffe · 07/07/2015 07:13

OP said they have to bring their kit but not change into it.

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AuntieStella · 07/07/2015 07:34

I'm pretty sure that our secondary doesn't have this rule (pupils not doing PE stil, have to attend the lesson, and are given PE theory/human biology worksheets to complete).

But if there is a clear rule, and he has broken it, I suppose that has to be sucked up. Though of course if there was a mischievous productive way to point out how utterly ridiculous the rule is, I'd be in to it.

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SoupDragon · 07/07/2015 07:40

That is a completely stupid rule.

DSs private school doesn't have this stupid rule and they have 2 PE/games sessions a week. They just go and work in the library after being excused from sport.

When DS broke his ankle and writs (separately!), he wouldn't have been able to carry his PE kit into school.