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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just not FEEL that overweight??

324 replies

TheHouseOnBellSt · 06/07/2015 13:20

I'm one stone overweight. That's quite a lot...but I look in the mirror and think "I don't look fat!"

But I must be!

I'm a size 14 on the bottom and a 12 on top..5.7 and 13 stones.

OP posts:
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8
CactusAnnie · 09/07/2015 14:49

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TheWordFactory · 09/07/2015 14:59

I am also large of rib cage. And they opened up even more when pregnant with twins ( and never went back).

DD is similar. She is a teeny teaspoon if a thing. Size 4. Just over 7 stone. But she needs a 36/38 braShock.

GiantGaspingSatanicCyst · 09/07/2015 15:11

I am 5'4" and definitely overweight at the moment, at 10.5st or thereabouts. I'd like to get back to 9-9.5st. Used to be 8st in my raving teens and twenties and it looked great then, but I think a little more works better on me aged 39.

I am much healthier in lifestyle terms than I was in my twenties, but two kids and a sedentary job have taken their toll on my waistline. Also have back problems so need to be careful with how I exercise - swimming, Pilates etc all good, running is not an option.

My side of the family is short and broad and diabetes-ridden. I'm very aware of how things could go. On the plus side, I am quite strong and muscley - leedy I am another surprisingly dense person Grin and I seem to breed incredibly heavy, strong children.

carabos thank you for posting your fabulous picture. You are the same shape as me, though not the same size of course, and seeing it has reminded me what I used to look like (and could again) - a brilliant motivator :)

TalkinPeace · 09/07/2015 15:11

cactus
I know that BMI includes height, but empirically

  • if you look at the Cockeyed height/weight chart pictures
  • looking at friends at the gym
  • observing
  • looking at the pictures of a friend on the Storm model agency site

lower heights are healthier at the lower end of the range (hence why the guidance for Asian women has been altered to 18.5-23.5) because they cannot build up the muscle mass that makes higher weights healthy

taller women can easily have lower body fat for a weight because their joints can support much greater volumes of muscle

wordfactory
Y Y to spreading ribs - a gym friend who is a model used a corset for a year after her second one to pull her ribs back in - it worked.

TheWordFactory · 09/07/2015 15:17

talkin I remember being shocked at how much they opened up!

When I die, my skeleton won't fit in a standard coffin Grin.

TalkinPeace · 09/07/2015 15:33

word
One of my gym instructors who is also a physio reckons its 1-2 inches waist increase per child - as wider ribs make the muscles hang differently .

As per my point above about BMI a lean waist of 29 inches will have more muscle in it than a lean waist of 27 inches so that person will be able to weigh more while staying lean.

In the past women used corsets to pull their ribs back in - not so common now.

TheWordFactory · 09/07/2015 15:39

I recall not being able to fit in any of my pre-pregnancy clothes, even though I weighed less following the birth ( I went very thin afterwards ) and having to size up to accommodate new rib cage and uber boobs Grin.

My feet also went up a size and a half!

leedy · 09/07/2015 15:49

"I recall not being able to fit in any of my pre-pregnancy clothes, even though I weighed less following the birth ( I went very thin afterwards ) and having to size up to accommodate new rib cage and uber boobs"

Ditto! I didn't have twins but my rib cage (which is already pretty big) hit Michael Phelps proportions when I was pregnant.

CactusAnnie · 09/07/2015 15:53

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WannaShedthisFatSuit · 09/07/2015 16:28

my feet also went up a size Sad

leedy · 09/07/2015 16:37

Mine went up a half size and my hips sort of ... moved. Basically nothing I owned pre-pregnancy fitted me afterwards, even when I was the same clothes size. :(

LittleDecoRing · 09/07/2015 18:33

Talkin I'm reasonably toned because I was running 10ks last year. Now I think I look a bit ill Sad Part of becoming well again is being able to exercise so I'm looking forward to that.

SquirrelledAway · 09/07/2015 19:26

My rib cage expanded about 4 inches - I went from a 34" bra size to a 38" with DS1 and it has never gone back, despite me being a stone lighter now than pre-pregnancy.

TalkinPeace · 09/07/2015 21:15

Littledeco
You need to find exercises that boost your self confidence in your appearance : pilates and Yoga are great as they are all about long term

leedy / squirreled
In the later stages of pregnancy, the impact of relaxin on cartilage is significant
a gym friend absolutely nadgered her sacrum doing yoga stretches in late pregnancy
it is absolutely likely that the whole pelvis changes shape
biologically it will want to reinforce what worked last time

FluffyCubs · 09/07/2015 22:47

Am I too late to corset myself? Another massively increased ribcage here ...my youngest is two.

TalkinPeace · 10/07/2015 07:39

fluffy
No idea - there are elasticated things on line - they look very old fashioned - and probably better for in the winter than in the summer
but the simple principle of corseting should push the ribs back in a bit over time

At the end of the week after a couple of fasts and lots of gym I have a real hollow under my ribs because they are flared but I have little visceral fat.
I tend to categorise it with my grey hair and wrinkles.
But for younger women it might be worth trying to reverse the waistline change as well.

duplodon · 10/07/2015 08:44

This is my body at 5 foot 9 and 13st 7. It is not a body I am declaring doesn't 'look fat' and I in no way think it wouldn't look and feel better if it shed 2-3 stone.

It got this way through a serious illness, masses of steroids, three kids in the last six years and severe PND and psychiatric treatment for it for a year.

It is a body with a resting hr of 62, bp of 110/70, perfect blood sugars, normal cholesterol and healthy bloods. It is a body that walks 5-7 miles a day. It has moderate to severe asthma, mostly controlled. It has scoliosis since childhood which was problematic in pregnancy but is bizarrely better now than when I was thin. It does 45 mins pilates once a week and would like to do more. The mind inside it has always had OCD and in my teens when I was two stone lighter a pic like this of my much smaller body would have had me sobbing for hours which was as bad when I was 9stone as 11 stone.

It is fat but it hasn't always been, won't always be and it is not to be shamed by people who worry it is a future burden on national resources (I live abroad and pay for healthcare where I live anyway so it isn't costing the NHS anything). It is what it is and it is no one's business but mine.

To just not FEEL that overweight??
To just not FEEL that overweight??
duplodon · 10/07/2015 08:53

The other thing I know from years of obsessing about it and taking photos like these is that at 10 stone its outline full on is identical to this just much smaller, and from the side my bum gets much smaller but my hips and thighs don't change.

leedy · 10/07/2015 09:19

duplodon, that sounds like a body that's done an awful lot for you over the years and is strong enough to get you through whatever life throws at you.

(and I'm the same - when I'm thinner I'm more or less exactly the same shape but smaller, with a slightly smaller bum)

duplodon · 10/07/2015 09:22

Ah feck it, let's just own the fat. Would I swap it for a 10 stone model in a heartbeat? Yeah. Is it photo worthy? Nah. I don't even own a bra. I have huge pants. But as a therapist once said to me sometimes when you refuse to accept where life has brought you to you are saying it is not okay to have the history you have or to be the person you are RIGHT now. Which is why I agree with people who say goals are best for most people when framed as self-caring health behaviour to maximise quality of life and not about whether fat looks ugly.

To just not FEEL that overweight??
To just not FEEL that overweight??
NewNameObv · 10/07/2015 12:24

This is so interesting. I'm adding my photo just to show that a middle-of-the-range BMI of 22 doesn't necessarily give you a great figure. I feel quite healthy at 58.5kg (9st 3?) and 164cm (5'5"?) but really dislike the weight distribution on my body. Nothing seems to shift the fat around my thighs, hips and bum. If I lose weight it comes straight off my boobs (which are tiny). I've always been like this though, even as a teenager when I was thin as a stick. I'm doing a lot of yoga now, which does seem to tone my body nicely, except for the thighs/bum.

NewNameObv · 10/07/2015 12:36

Just to add, I'm generally wearing size 10 tops (sometimes 8, sometimes 12) and size 12-14 bottoms (mostly 14).

leedy · 10/07/2015 12:55

I'm actually finding it really reassuring how many people share my chunky thighs. Er, I mean, obviously you all have your own personal thighs...

CactusAnnie · 10/07/2015 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 10/07/2015 16:51

NewName I'm the same height/weight as you (normally, not today as I had a baby yesterday!), but our figures couldn't be more different. I have massive boobs which I hate, really skinny arms and legs and carry a bit too much weight round my middle. Really interesting to see other people's body shapes.