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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not invited to christening

28 replies

solitudehappiness · 06/07/2015 10:10

A friend had her daughter's christening this weekend, she mentioned it to me, and then I didn't get the official invite.
We're going on holiday in a weeks time together and I'm not sure how I feel about her not inviting me. I'd texted her a couple of days before and she still hasn't replied. really don't know what to do or how to play it? AIBU to feel upset?

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 06/07/2015 10:12

Depends. They may have only invited close family.

HaleMary · 06/07/2015 10:14

I'm not sure I understand - did she tell you you were going to be invited, and then you weren't? Otherwise, why would you expect to be? Baptisms in my experience are quite often only immediate family/members of the church/godparents, rather than a general friends shindig.

BlackTrivet · 06/07/2015 10:15

Maybe they just kept it to very close family and Godparents?

If you are upset that you can't change that - reasonable or not.

I don't think I would be upset - unless they asked everyone else they know and had a great party afterwards.

Original poster
solitudehappiness · 06/07/2015 10:24

One of her friends put up on facebook how she'd had a lovely time, and she replied that she is glad she is bless with great friends and family...

OP posts:
Teabagbeforemilk · 06/07/2015 10:28

Dbro is christening both children together. They have 4 (yes 4) godparents each. I only immediate family and the godparents families are going. So yea a sizeable gathering of family and friends. But anyone either not family or partners and kids of godparents are not coming

HaleMary · 06/07/2015 10:30

Maybe the posting friend was a godparent?

DoJo · 06/07/2015 10:56

She obviously wasn't trying to keep it secret if she mentioned it to you, so it's not like she was deliberately excluding you from something and trying to keep it under wraps. It seems likely that it was a small affair for those directly related to or involved with the family.

FenellaFellorick · 06/07/2015 11:03

When she mentioned it to you, did she say please come, or save the date, or anything that would indicate that she was actually inviting you? I wonder if maybe she thought that was your invite and the reason she isn't replying is she's sulking because you didn't show up? Or perhaps it was relatives and godparents only?

Maybe you should telephone her with a question about the holiday? You will be able to see how she is?

MiddleAgedandConfused · 06/07/2015 13:21

It was only family and god parents for us.

GloGirl · 06/07/2015 13:24

I wonder whether she thought your chat was an invitation and now she's annoyed at you for not going? Xx

BabyFeets · 06/07/2015 13:28

When she mentioned it did she say you can come?

ARunOfThings · 06/07/2015 13:29

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe the conversation was your invite, maybe your invite got lost in the post, maybe it was only for close family or whatever. Maybe, with a small baby to look after, she forgot to send out your invite. I'd send a text or Facebook message saying "How did the Christening go? Hope to see some photos!" so she doesn't think you're not interested.

Maybe on holiday you'll get the chance to figure out what really happened.

chickenfuckingpox · 06/07/2015 13:35

we had the entire church it was done during the normal sunday service i told my friends about it and said come if you can it was all very informal and casual

maybe she forgot or maybe she doesnt feel as close to you as she once did fwiw you should show a little interest as ARunOfThings says but if you get no response this time back away Flowers

Noodledoodledoo · 06/07/2015 13:42

We have just done family and godparents only - once you started inviting friends it was well if you invite x you have to invite y and then z will need to be invited.

We considered making it bigger but family and godparents totalled 26 to start, it hit 50+ pretty quickly and we wanted it to be a small affair and not wedding like!

DearHound · 06/07/2015 13:49

Are you religious?.... I didn't get invited to my friends ds christening because she knows I'm not in to that sort of stuff as I'm not religious and didnt christen my own children.

Lateswim16 · 06/07/2015 13:53

Tbf I would have counted my blessings it was one less outfit/present/boring do to go to op.

Each to own.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/07/2015 14:22

You said she is a friend,not a close friend, mabey she had immediate family, and close friends there.

derxa · 06/07/2015 14:32

I think you were invited and didn't realise. If you are going on holiday together you must be a friend. Why didn't you discuss the christening in more detail before the event?

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 06/07/2015 14:37

Are you maybe atheist or of a different religion? Might be a reason for no invite.

Timetodrive · 06/07/2015 15:11

I am in a friends bad books because for her mentioning a child's christening (very loosely) is the same as an invite whereas for me unless there is a written/ email invite I would never attend. Apparently I am in the wrong and I should of known "what she's like" but I would rather be wrong than turn up to an event without being properly invited.

BabyGanoush · 06/07/2015 15:13

who wants to go to a christening! It's usually family and godparents only, no?

AlpacaLypse · 06/07/2015 15:17

I don't think I've ever had an Official Invitation to a baptism. If you weren't welcome she wouldn't have mentioned it at all. She may have sent written notes to a few people she doesn't normally see and to older relatives, and relied on word of mouth for the friends she sees around a lot.

FraggleHair · 06/07/2015 15:19

I too think you were invited. No one sends out official paper invites for christenings!

Original poster
solitudehappiness · 07/07/2015 16:39

Ok, spoke to her today, and she said she had the christening, but didn't mention me not being invited, so I left it at that. She said it was quite a small affair, and she's got her sons birthday, and is going on holiday all in the space of a couple of weeks.

OP posts: