To have felt sad about this

[suniskissingmyface]

I work on Sunday mornings and I stopped at the BP garage to get petrol, it is one of those big supermarkets/subway stations as well as petrol.

There was a woman and toddler and I couldn't believe what she was buying, bear in mind this was before 8 on a Sunday. 3 packets of haring, a big cinema style packet of crisps and chocolate and a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi.

Both mum and daughter were obese, the little girl was only 3 or so.

I just felt sad, that little girl should have been enjoying a healthy breakfast instead of being am dragged out. The mum obviously had an addiction.

Does it matter though? OP hasn't done anything good here, just posting a goady thread to make everyone leap in to agree with her. Nobody is ever going to change their habits from judgemental looks, it just makes the judgers feel a bit superior for their own odd reasons.

Pishedorf, how on earth do you help people without judging them?

I judge your problems are caused by x, y and z, so now I can advise you on the best way to avoid that.

You can be polite and supportive, obviously, but you definitely have to make judgements...

ARF at 'she probably had a muesli breakfast and they were on their way to the cinema'

I agree with Lying.

In an ideal world no one would eat crap and we would all skip around meadows, slim and glowing with health, apple cheeked children by our sides ...

I would notice anyone eating in the street because I personally don't like to see people eating in the street, I would probably notice obese people more...not judge more but notice more and yes I suppose I would feel a bit sad.
However I don't think I would have noticed what someone was buying and if I did I would imagine the treats were for the cinema/party/sharing....if it was for the little girl then it is very sad.

creampie I give my professional opinion, in a non judgemental way. That is one of the cornerstones of good medical practice. I make make clinical 'judgements' but that is different to 'being judgemental'. The two can be mutually exclusive.

I always feel sad when I read these types of threads .

I was a normal sized child until I was about eight, when I suddenly ballooned. This was in the early 80s. My parents brought me to a dietician who prescribed the standard issue low fat diet. I still recall the humiliation of those weigh-ins. I felt a sort of mixed awe and terror of the dietician. She had an avocado green phone which I REALLY wanted, and when she spoke on it her tongue peeked out between her lips. That last bit really annoyed, for some reason.

At one session, following weeks of what I considered fairly onerous forgoing of sugary cereals, a club milk at lunch and post-dinner apple tart, I was all aglow as I stepped on the schools, positively vibrating with the anticipation of her praise. Turns out I lost nothing. "Well", says she, "what will your parents say? They'll be so disappointed in you." Still feel the sting of that more than 30 years later.

Anyway, to my point, if I have one at all. I, too, feel very said when I see overweight children. I know the potential misery, despair and self-hatred that is in store for them. My parents tried their very best to help and support me to lose weight. My Dad, who worked a hard, manual job, brought me for a walk every evening or did skipping with me in the garden. I know they worried about me constantly. I have been on so many diets since then. My struggle with my weight is, in fact, the defining factor in my life. I can't imagine a time when it won't be. One of the reasons I chose not to have children myself is that I could not bear to inflict my issues with food and weight on them.

So, yes, I feel very sad when I see obese children. But I try very hard never to judge their parents.

soft that dietician was awful making an eight year old child feel like that. I really hope we've progressed in how we help overweight children now but going by this thread maybe not
Its not an easy situation for the parents or the child and I doubt being judged helps anyone.

but softday were your parents also obese and feeding you all with crap?

Thanks, Lois.
Anyone, neither of my parents was (or is) obese. My Dad and brothers have to work hard to maintain a healthy weight; my Mum and sister never put on weight. All four of my siblings are a healthy weight in adulthood.

We were fed mostly home-cooked stuff, perhaps a little carb heavy and fairly large portions. No takeaways, very little processed food and a moderate allocation of sweets/treats.

I certainly had a genetic predisposition to gain weight, which was compounded by being an inactive child. But the main problem was, and still is, emotional overeating. I ate in secret and hid and hoarded food constantly.

SoftDay

Your post made me cry. I'm so sorry that things were/ are like this for you. It is truly horrendous having weight as the defining factor in your life.

Our youngest daughter (7) is over weight by quite a lot.

But that is because she is disabled and seriously ill.She has lax joints,so sometimes has to use a wheelchair,she should really be in one all the time because her joints,legs and feet are so bad but she doesn't want to give up trying to walk.

She also has a distended stomach because she has serious problems with her bowels and her stomach.

Our loving,beautiful little girl is over weight because of her disability's,she can't be as physical as other children her age that aren't disabled because of the pain that she's constantly in.She eats less than a lot of children her age because of the problems she has with her stomach.

Thank God the children and parents that know her don't judge her because of her size.I honestly think that would kill me off!