To think new neighbours should not try to usurp my window cleaner of 16 years

[DameDoom]

We have new neighbours who are quite frankly twats. The woman sent round her window cleaner to do a more 'professional' job on our windows at her own expense. How kind. They have special rigging equipment and power hoses that reach everywhere and there is no doubt my windows are gleaming.
But here's the rub ... we are not mingers and get our windows done every two weeks by Dave. Come rain or shine, Dave is round with his knackered ladder and chamois. Dave has seen my boobs ( well he is a window cleaner) and still brings us a dozen eggs from his own chickens, despite being traumatised by my saggy tatters. Dave also strokes our cats kindly and chats about his grandchildren. Dave is probably 70 odd and shouldn't be up a ladder but won't retire. Dave's chamois has seen better days... haven't we all?
So, How the hell do I explain to Dave that my windows are so bloody gleaming? How can a pensioner in a beanie hat compete with a profesh company? I will be keeping Dave of course but I'm worried he'll notice the windows.
For the record, Dave does an excellent job considering his equipment.

First tell your neighbour to fuck off.

Then throw some dirt on your windows for Dave.

Just tell him what happened and ask him if he might do the insides that week for you instead. You can have a moan about how cheeky new neighbours were.

Dave sounds like a treasure. Can he come do my windows?

Have you now made it clear to the neighbour that while you are grateful for the kind thought you will continue to use your own window cleaner in future?

I think I'd tell Dave that your neighbour was trying some new equipment out on your windows but you're not convinced by it at all.

What the hell? Why have they done that?!

Our windows are filthy owing to some carpentry work we've had done this week. Perhaps you could randomly saw some wood so the windows get dirty again for Dave.

I need a window cleaner. Dave sounds lovely. Whereabouts are you?

Am worried that all you lot will try and pinch me Dave. I've not even tried to protect his anonymity yet.
I would share him with my MN mates but he's only got 3 chickens, 1 ladder and a chamois -not to mention a knackered knee and a hip replacement... he's mine!

I'll send my children round, one of their favourite games is breathing on windows and drawing pictures. And I'll let them have a jam tart first.

I like Dave.

Tell your neighbours that your carpets are gagging for a professional clean.

Another one here who wants to borrow Dave for my windows.

Dave is what's known in the cleaning industry as a 'treasure' tell next door to BACK OFF!

I'm all for results but I value people far more!

We had a Dave too. A total treasure and much appreciated.
He eventually retired and I still miss him.
100% reliable and totally trustworthy.
The neighbours are prats.

Return the favour! Send Dave round to do your neighbour's windows - I'm sure his ageing chamois can take some of the gleam from their windows - it might make them think twice before arranging for jobs to be done on your house in future!

My parents have Bert who is older than my Dad (Dad is 78

I named my male guinea-pig 'Bert' as tribute (and it's a fabulous name)

You need to explain to the neighbour that what she's done is totally unacceptable and to back off.

Dave sounds lovely. Your neighbours, however, sound like loons with some serious boundary issuesI am looking forward to lots of crazy threads (btw do you have an old kitchen unit lying in your garden by any chance?

I want a Dave!

Tell her next time she sends someone on to your property you will take action. Snooty cow.

Bitch... gleaming or not, Dave is part of the furniture and a much-loved addition to the family!

Tell that bloody woman if she tries to replace your Dave again 'Nightmare Neighbours' will be round to film her for their next series.

What a fuckin' liberty!

I want a Dave! I had a Dave. Lovely chats over a chamois and a squeegee.

He then went and got some new fangled equipment with purified water and brushes and hoses. Now there is no ladders and no chamois, just a load of purified water sloshed about and I swear it is nowhere near so good but my 'Dave' is so excited by this modern stuff I can't tell him what I think when he asks!

You had me at strokes our cats kindly! I love Dave. I would tell him the truth - that your neighbours are twats x

Poor Dave

I'm at your neighbour making unilateral decisions about your windows!

Have you got an old rusty, burnt out car that you could park in your drive - that should lower the tone nicely and give her a hissy fit.

To be honest I think you're being a bit harsh on the neighbour. She was just doing you a favour however misguided. How the hell was she supposed to know about Dave? Just be a decent human being, explain the situation and thank her anyway. If this is the worst thing that this neighbour does you'll be lucky.