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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

breastfeeding in the supermarket

426 replies

wtfisgoingonhere · 04/07/2015 18:51

Ok so I'm all for breastfeeding and think all mums should (assuming mother/baby are able to) but WALKING AROUND SAINSBURYS breastfeeding. . . Seriously? ?

Maybe it's only me that's shocked and I am not a mum myself if that makes a difference.
Don't get me wrong I certainly disagree with mums being ushered into toilets and the like but I felt a bit of modesty could have avoided awkwardness for both mum and others she may come across.

I have no issue with nudity either, i enjoy sunbathing topless and strolling around my home in various states of undress but I couldn't imagine ever feeling comfortable doing this myself

The last thing I expected on a Saturday afternoon trip to sainsburys was to round the corner of an aisle to come face to face with a woman with her top down and FULL BOOB OUT (I saw nipple and all!) strolling down the home entertainment aisle feeding baby. Yes I know this is what they are intended for but when men aren't allowed to enter shirtless is this not a bit much? Had she been sat outside the store on the benches or in a cafe (if they had one) I guess i or anyone else wouldn't have batted an eyelid

Just interested in others opinions

Is this taking things a bit far or perhaps it is just a multitasking achievement extraordinaire?

OP posts:
Raveismyera · 04/07/2015 21:51

sykadelic why should a breastfeeding mother care if you, the OP, or anyone else is uncomfortable with public breastfeeding? They are in the right, you are uptight and probably spend too much time worrying about what other people do. That's not something for the breastfeeding mother to concern themselves with.

As per the famous quote- whatever other people think of me is none of my business.

So don't try and make it my
Business.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/07/2015 21:53

FFS TheOriginalWinkly....you know exactly what I meant. This is ridiculous. I managed, I didn't have to get my tits out in public but then I didn't WANT to. I couldn't care less what others do. It was just something I preferred to keep private.

mrsmilkymoo · 04/07/2015 21:53

Good for her, I wish I could master the art of shopping and feeding at the same time! It would make life much easier instead of always needing to find a seat or bench. If it bothers you just don't look, no need to get all aerated about it. I'd rather a baby being fed than one howling the place down, that's for sure.

Runningupthathill82 · 04/07/2015 21:54

I've breastfed just about everywhere. Only reason I haven't in a supermarket as yet is that there's rarely anywhere to sit, and I never got the hang of doing it standing up.

Hope I get the knack with DC2.

TheOriginalWinkly · 04/07/2015 21:57

Apparently either I have no idea at all what you meant, formidable, or else you're telling me I fed my daughter out in public because I wanted to flash my boobs not because she was screaming with hunger. Pray tell, should I have stayed at home rather than go to the shops or the park?

MarchLikeAnAnt · 04/07/2015 21:58

What is a mother ment to do if baby feeds every 20/30 mins as my ill DD did? It's not practical or possible to find a seat or hide away if they feed that often.

Bambambini · 04/07/2015 21:59

I was in an other country recently and saw a mum BF her baby nonchalantly whilst walking around a dept store. Boob on display a little but very natural and quite lovely. We need more of this stuff tbh.

You realise OP that you going topless might offend a lot of people but I guess that's ok compared to feeding your child.

shitebag · 04/07/2015 21:59

MrsC apologies if you thought that was levelled at you, it wasn't.

RobbyBen has miraculously appeared this evening on MN and has been posting inflammatory posts all over.

TheOriginalWinkly · 04/07/2015 22:00

Apparently we should stay at home until they're weaned marchlikeanant

LegoComplex · 04/07/2015 22:00

Ive heard of it shitebag but never tried, brilliant advice about trying in front of the mirror i'd never thought of that! That's the bit i;m worried about is the initial latch as i'm not practised in being discreet (and generally a clumsy, unco-ordinated sort!) will have a go at that Smile

Starbrite00 · 04/07/2015 22:02

You sunbathing topless is unnecessary and tacky because you are doing so for reasons of vanity.
A mother feeding her child is out of love and necessary for survival.

MrsMook · 04/07/2015 22:03

I can remember feeding Ds2 around IKEA in a sling as he rather inconveniently timed his hunger just after we had lunch.

He had his head patted a few times while I was on the move from people that didn't seem to register that he was feeding.

I've ended up expressing with a battery powered pump while on the move. I had expected him to have dropped day feeds by the time I went away for 4 days with Brownies (I'd gone back to work a couple of months earlier), but he was a milk monster, and I had to keep pumping regularly to avoid engorgement and mastitis, including while in a kipper smoke house. Good job Guiding uniform is baggy!

MarchLikeAnAnt · 04/07/2015 22:04

So it seems TheOriginalWinkly

Starbrite00 · 04/07/2015 22:04

Also in the countries you say you wouldn't sunbath topless are the countries that wouldn't bat an eyelid at a women breastfeeding a baby.

Dearagatha · 04/07/2015 22:05
TheFormidableMrsC · 04/07/2015 22:09

TheOriginalWinkly...my GOD, no I didn't...I just hate this thing where those who feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public make everybody else feel utterly unreasonable! As I said, I didn't want to so organised accordingly. My kids are 17 and 4 now. What everybody else does is up to them...public breastfeeding wasn't for me. I am not a prude, quite the opposite. I just didn't want to do it in front of everybody else! Is that wrong?!

shitebag · 04/07/2015 22:10

As long as you're sunbathing topless in an appropriate spot (I.e not on a grassy verge at a safari park as I've seen one random woman do Hmm) then I don't think its tacky or unnecessary.

There is no inappropriate place to feed a child unless its life endangering obviously Wink

That said i personally don't see the need to have your breasts completely out in public to breastfeed and would be shocked to see this but I'd just look away.

TheOriginalWinkly · 04/07/2015 22:14

But you seem to be unable to grasp that for some of us, it simply wasn't possible to organise accordingly. I would feed DD, then wind her for 5-10 minutes, then run around getting her into the buggy and grabbing my bag and having a wee, and by the time I had got out and locked up maybe 20 minutes had passed from the end of the feed and it would be 40 minutes or less until she wanted fed again and it was simply impossible to leave the house without feeding her.

But then, this is me apologising for feeding my baby as I see fit, in a place and at a time that I see fit. Why should I apologise for that? My right to breastfeed my daughter in public is upheld by law and anyone who doesn't like it can simply look elsewhere. My boobs aren't so big that they can't be avoided by turning your head a few degrees.

TheOriginalWinkly · 04/07/2015 22:16

So actually whilst I acknowledge your discomfort, I cannot agree that your discomfort is a reasonable reaction to a healthy, natural,legally upheld action.

TheHormonalHooker · 04/07/2015 22:16

The OP "gets her tits out in public" on a fucking beach. I don't, I don't see the point but I don't get all ranty and arsey about people who do. I breastfed both my children, at times in public. Though shit if you didn't want to see the little bit of flesh that you might have seen.

This argument is bloody ridiculous. A hungry baby was being fed. That's all that was happening FFS. If you don't like what you see, shove a sheet over your head.

ThisIsClemFandango · 04/07/2015 22:19

To whoever said they only plan to breastfeed at home and only in front of their DH...
I suspect you might look back at that and laugh when you have a baby. If you are planning to exclusively breastfeed then be prepared to literally never leave the house for a long time. In the first months pumping can be difficult and it can be hard to establish feeding. Newborns have a lovely habit of cluster feeding, meaning you can be feeding hourly - or more often sometimes. So if you're in town and the baby is hungry would you just go home? Will you leave the room every time a visitor is round and you have to feed? It would be so much easier for yourself to just feed where you are.
I got a little embarrassed and uncomfortable the first time my friend fed in front of me as every member of my family has ff, so I'd never been around it before. But I made a decision to get the fuck over it - it's just breastfeeding. I can never understand the hysteria over it.

Sparklingbrook · 04/07/2015 22:23

That happened to me Clem and I got fed up with never leaving the house so FF.I would go into another room to latch the baby on before returning to my visitors. I just couldn't BF in public even if I had wanted to.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/07/2015 22:26

My God, I am totally wasting my time here....and you Winkly have completely misunderstood me at every point.

Steps away from thread....

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 04/07/2015 22:31

I BF my baby in public (on a bench in the Trafford Centre amongst other places! I remember an old lady smiling at me...nobody else batted an eyelid).

I breastfed in front of my FIL, who I believe was a bit outraged by this. But then he and MIL tried to get me to put my baby on to bottles, so I think I can safely ignore any opinions from them on how to rear my own baby.

YABU ffs.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 04/07/2015 22:33

My boobs are tiny, so nobody noticed when I BF, but I really feel for women with larger breasts if this is the reaction they get when doing such a natural thing. What a stupid, sexist state of affairs.Hmm