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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Eloping to Vegas

61 replies

Busybuzzybumblebee · 04/07/2015 16:33

Me and dp can't afford to get married in UK, to have the kind of wedding we would want would cost around 4 grand, which we don't have, so we were considering going to Vegas for 5 days getting married and having a honeymoon at same time, less money and no hassle, my dsis offered to have our ds when we went on honeymoon but has gone totally crazy when I mentioned the new plan. Me and my dsis are very close and she is really upset about us eloping, saying we're selfish and she won't look after ds. We don't want to take ds to Vegas as don't think it's really a good place for an 18 month old and we wanted our honeymoon at same time, also would mean that we would also have to take my dps two older dc, which would make it I expensive and we couldn't do it.

I guest what I am asking is it selfish to family to elope?

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 05/07/2015 21:54

www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/home/home.shtml

$35 for the licence, $25 for the ceremony, $35 for the certificate. About £60 all in - a lot less than what the registrar here will charge!

SquirrelledAway · 05/07/2015 22:19

You don't even need any witnesses in California for a confidential marriage.

It was just me, DH and Batwoman the judge in full black robes.

And a bunch of giggling kids on a school tour of the city hall.

MarilynMongoose · 06/07/2015 23:08

We got married in Vegas and took ds with us he was 13 months at the time. It was fine x

HellRunner · 06/07/2015 23:16

We got married in the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas - just the two of us there. Fantastic day :)

GoStraightGoStraight · 06/07/2015 23:21

Sorry if this has already been pointed out but how are you eloping if your sister already knows about it?

Eloping does not just mean getting married abroad or alone.

SonceyD0g · 06/07/2015 23:25

We got married in Vegas at the sign by elvis! We invited all our family and friends. All the family baulked at the cost of flights, hotels etc and didn't come. Lots of our friends came tho, it was amazing. Booked a package and it was filmed and on you tube the next day. Brilliant, it's for you two, not uncle Fred who you haven't seen since great aunt dots funeral! That's what our family moaned about most, not having the chance for a family get together at our expense

FishCalledWonder · 06/07/2015 23:27

Got married at the Wynn. Amazing. No wedding hoopla.

Some relatives thought it was selfish but it was the best thing I've ever done.

soapboxqueen · 07/07/2015 00:49

In general weddings are about the couple but it is naive to think nobody else has a vested interest. Many people expect to be involved /present at the big life events of their close family members or friends. For some it is about the party but for others it's just witnessing and marking the occasion. Some people don't mind being left out, others really do and will feel hurt. It is unreasonable to expect people not to feel hurt because you say that they shouldn't.

YABU to expect your sister, who thought she was going to be part of the big day, to look after your dc while you have the wedding without her. You might think it reasonable, she obviously doesn't. She isn't obliged to look after your dc full stop.

If you want to go to Vegas that's fine but you need to find ways of either including your dc or finding another baby sitter.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 07/07/2015 00:56

I agree it's selfish to go and get married without involving your family - I'm not saying that it's the wrong thing to do or that you shouldn't do it, but if you think about it that weddings are a public event (in that they generally need at least two witnesses, as well the fact that major rites of passage are events that are usually shared with family and friends) then might see where DSis coming from

Athrawes · 07/07/2015 01:43

We did this. Got a great rental car and did a drive through wedding then honeymooned in the Grand Canyon. Awesome and the in-laws and sisters and brothers were great about it.
At the end of the day the wedding was about being able to look at each other and say, "Do you want to do this?" without having a heap of people looking at us. I really felt that he WANTED to marry me, because he could have decided no and none would have known.
Some great 5* hotels for a fraction of the price of what you would pay in the UK, sunshine and cocktails by the pool.
I have not regretted it for a moment.

kazzymac · 12/07/2015 22:47

I'm eloping to Vegas in September. We've got adult children from previous marriages and just didn't want the fuss or the additional expense. I'm having a bit of a wobble now about dress shopping and sharing that experience with my mum. I was so excited about the idea but now it's getting closer I'm having second thoughts about not telling anyway beforehand.

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