Six year old taught about terrorists...

[CarolPeletier]

Yesterday my daughters school had an assembly and did the silence for those slaughtered in Tunisia. It was explained that a man got silly ideas in his head and went and shot and killed lots of people on a beach. My daughter has just turned six and is now refusing to come to the seaside this weekend. I do not have the news on around her at home and have so far shielded her from the very scary world we live in, thinking there is plenty of time to find out about the evil out there and letting her remain innocent as long as possible.
AIBU to be upset that the school taught her about this and scared her. She has only just turned six and I think it's too much for her to take in - God it's too much for most adults to take in!
Also, any thoughts on how to reassure her now?

Children can't comprehend what hasn't been explained (age appropriately).

I can remember watching the bombing of Hiroshima (sp), around the age of 7, I had nightmares for nearly a year until my Nan explained what and why it happened.

My Mum thought "I didn't need to know".

Holidays will be being cancelled, Armed Police and Military will be more visable.

The reasons why can be explained and understood from this age, again, age appropriate, of course.

there is action being taken against that march

antifascistnetwork.org/diary/

""I want to say something to the school as I feel they have handled this badly.""

I agree, there should of been warning and school and home I want to say something to the school as I feel they have handled this badly. School and Hone should be working together to explain what is happening.

I can remember knowing about the IRA, at this age.

Children overhear things and it's not understanding, that upsets them more.

My children deal with seeing the C-17 transport land next to their school, seeing the village full of police and reporters and the cortège passing their house. This totally outs where I live, so this is a name change. It is incredibly hard to deal with explaining this to a 3yo, but we went with "there are bad men in the world and sometimes people get hurt. Sometimes people who get hurt die, and we need to remember them. Luckily for us, there are far more good people in the world to protect us all - and they do a really good job so no need to worry about bad things happening to you". That seems to work and neither of them seem anxious at all.

Maybe children shouldn't be shielded from things like this, but I think six is a bit young and it needs to be carefully handled. It doesn't sound as if this has been terribly well handled.

DS1 is just five and heard about the Pakistan school massacre last year at school - he was not the only one in his year to be up with terrible nightmares night after night. To be fair that had to be addressed because an older child asked a question relating to it, but I think giving lots of details makes it much more real for a small child and therefore much scarier.

We were on a trip and the venue had explained in advance they would observe the silence, but it was up to us if we told the children (KS1) the reason why.

I told them there was going to be a minute of quiet, like we do in school for Remembrance Day, and they could think about things they were grateful for in their lives. I was half expecting some of them to ask if it was about Tunisia, but they didn't, so I didn't raise it.

I'm a Reception teacher and if a child in my class asked me about Tunisia I would explain as simply, age-appropriately and reassuringly as possible, just as I would with my own chn, because ignoring children's questions and concerns is a quick way to instal fear and worry. However, I really don't think EYFS or KS1 should be holding the minute silence because, for the majority, it'll mean nothing and serves no purpose. If KS2 participate I think parents should be sent a simple email beforehand informing them so they can share with the school in explaining / discussing.

We are very open with my two older boys (5 and 8 - the other is 11 weeks and only interested in milk) and they are well-informed about many historical events as well as current affairs. They don't watch or read the news (because it would bore them) but we have chats about important events. Awareness now from a safe and trusted source (their mum and dad) means a gentle introduction to a world with some crazy folk who do some evil things so they don't get a massive shock later. It also helps them develop their own moral and ethical viewpoints.

Unsure if my sons' school were going to hold the silence yesterday, I briefly outlined the events in Tunisia to my 8 year old in the morning. He absorbed them in his usual stoic way before saying, 'well that's crazy. God doesn't exist anyway. And even if he did surely he'd want people to do good things not bad things?' Take that ISIS.

You'll end up with her as an inpatient at whatever age you decide to drop the bomb that the world is not full of unicorns shitting rainbows.

Seriously you'll come up against things like this over and over in her childhood. Your job is to manage her fears and anxieties so they don't effect her life.

YABU.

Your style of parenting is not protecting her from the world, but making her scared of it.

I have the news on at breakfast (BBC) and in the evening sometimes. I expect my DC's (4, 7 and 8) to have a basic, age appropriate understanding of the world. Most of the news they ignore, because it doesn't interest them. But they all have an awareness of politics (DS3 knows there was a "competition" in May to see who would be in charge of the country; DS1 and DS2 know the names of the PM, and major cabinet ministers), they all know about the threat of terrorism. None of them understand why some people in the world are so horrible, and they know I don't know either. DS1 knows income inequality can sometimes lead to social unrest and riots.

They are all well adjusted, confident boys, and all are at least 2/3 years ahead of where they should be verbally and in literacy (according to their school). No shit Sherlock, it's because I expose them to the world, and talk about it. Everyday. And then we talk some more. Everyday.

YABU unless you can be sure that no child in the school was affected by what happened in Tunisia. There could have been children who have been on holiday there, who had friends or relatives there at the time. The school may have felt the need to address it for that child, who may not have been conveniently deemed old enough to understand.

Where I used to teach, we lost a child and his father in the Herald of Free Enterprise disaster. How do you shield children from that, or any situation when a child in the school, or a parent, dies? For most children that is far scarier.

I think the school handled it badly, but you aren't doing your DD any favours by trying to isolate her from the world. We have discussed the news with our DDs from the moment they were old enough to speak and ask questions, always in an age appropriate way. Our children have to live in the real world, the longer you wait to introduce them to it the harder they will find it.

Out of curiosity, does anyone watch newsround?(i dont) Did they broach the subject? It might be a way to gently introduce kids to things, as I'm assuming, its well written for kids.

I think they did don't as one of the year 6 teachers at work was planning on showing it to his class after some children had asked about it

YANBU and I don't think the school have handled it at all well. I agree with another poster who wondered whether a teacher wanted to do something and went ahead regardless.

I would predict that a child of six or even 10 or 11 would be scared of visiting a beach after hearing the story of what happened in Tunisia. It shocked and made me cry to think of those poor helpless people so I don't think it's unreasonable of you to be exasperated that your DD is scared of going and are now having to deal with the consequences.

It's July. A lot of people will be going to the beach for their hard-earned holidays.

It's nothing to do with knowing about world affairs. Many adults cannot compute risk. Much less six year olds.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that a small child might become confused and scared.

When I was 13 I went on a school trip to Malta. My mum warned me about various things but the one that stuck in my head was the danger of rabies.

I stroked a friendly dog and it gratefully licked my hand. I wouldn’t say I was consumed by the worry of dying in frothing convulsions but it was in the back of my mind for quite a while.

I didn’t tell my mum though because I’d have had to admit that I disobeyed her by touching a forrin dog. I just waited for the symptoms to start. Nearly 40 years later, I think I’m in the clear.

My point is that children get scared even when adults have the best of intentions but say the daftest things.

Goasty, it looks like that is being organised by a anti fascist Jewish Group

YANBU. My daughter today started talking about people getting killed on a beach saying she had seen something in her granny's house about it.

My DD is very anxious though and if she sees a dead bird in the road, she will ask me hundreds of questions about it and refuse to travel on buses for a while.

For this reason I never have the news on at home. She heard me talking about the Malaysian Aeroplane once and is scared about travelling by plane in the summer (and asking a lot of questions about plane crashes).

You can't protect your child from everything though and I'm well aware that they must pick up a lot at school

There's a lot of playing Muslims and Christians these days (as opposed to Cowboys and Indians) in the playground.