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Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:
cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:33

Do you think there's a reason why women judge each other on their appearances rabbit?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:36

Yes - they are interested in each others' appearances.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:37

Why is that? Is it just a natural thing that comes from having two X chromosomes?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:38

(As you've probably gathered, there are a lot of women I don't feel I have much in common with!).

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:41

I think it may be partly to do with hormones and partly due to societal pressure. I just don't think the pressure is coming from men. I think women inflict it on each other. The same thing happens outside the subject of appearance - girls are more likely to suffer from exam stress and a desire to be perfect in the academic field. Again, I don't think that's so as to impress men.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:41

So do you feel rabbit that it's a natural or normal thing for women to be interested in each others' appearances and that you don't fit in with that?

cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:45

BTW it is not my view that women worry about their appearance or criticise each other in order to impress men. I haven't yet met a feminist (but there could be some out there) who does believe that.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:50

cailindana - you might be interested by some of the comments on this thread, then, because quite a few women on here seem to think that shaving your legs is all about impressing men.

Yes, I do think it is natural and normal for women to be interested in each others' appearances. I am interested in other peoples' appearances. I just don't like the bitchy comments that go along with it, or the pressure to try and look something other than what you think is attractive because that's the in thing at the moment. However, I recognised from an early age that I was unusual in not be so interested in conforming with the in-group's expectations. I did notice that there were both male in-groups, where boys had to try really hard to fit in with the cool boys; and female in-groups, where girls had to try really hard to fit in with the cool girls. I also noticed that the girls were more into trying to shame each other in highly personal ways as a way of keeping others out of their group than boys were.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:52

Do you think there's a reason for girls being more into trying to shame each other?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:53

So, yes, by all means don't shave your legs if you think you look more attractive with leg hair.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:55

Yes - nasty women are different from nasty men. I equate trying to publicly shame others with nastiness. It isn't necessary in either sex.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 12:57

It's a form of control. It's a favoured way for women to control each other.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 12:57

Do you think women and men are just fundamentally different then? Because of their hormones etc?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:14

I think women and men have fundamental differences. What they have in common is that some women and some men have an excessive interest in controlling others and telling them what they should think. I still find myself free not to buy or read fashion articles and bitchy comments. I don't have to fall victim to them.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:16

It is possible to enjoy fashion, or nail painting or leg shaving without feeling bullied into it.

NinjaLeprechaun · 09/07/2015 13:17

Oversimplifying massively, women establish their place in the hierarchy verbally and men establish their place in the hierarchy physically. This difference seems to be cross-cultural and is often present in small children, which certainly suggests that there's more to it than learned behaviour. Physical bullying (which boys are more likely to be prone to) is seen as more of a problem than verbal bullying (although this is slowly changing) and so children are more likely to be taught 'don't hit' than 'don't judge' - and that's where the cultural part generally comes in, imo.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 13:19

Ah I think that's where we're differing then. I think apart from genitals women and men are essentially the same. As you've experienced yourself some women are interested in appearance, some are not. In my view there is nothing in women's biology that makes them more interested in appearance. So if the question that poses for me is: if nothing in women's biology makes them more interested in appearance than men, what is it? And the answer for me seem to be society - the way women and men are brought up differently.

However, if you feel women and men are fundamentally different and part of those differences comes out in interest in appearance then I can see how you disagree with me.

LassUnparalleled · 09/07/2015 13:27

It's not a matter of judging anyone or telling you you can't make decisions, it's about understanding the kind of society we live in and identifying how it is affecting us so if it is having a negative effect we can change that.

And then going on and on and on about " but you have to think about it ".

I I was asked to explain on a FWR thread what I meant by my "legs look nicer shaved ". I explained it was my peronal preference - same as any other personal preference- did not the person calling me out on this make personal preference choices?

Her reply was " yes she did, but she thinks about them first "

How rude was that ?
She, a femisnist thinks , I, a mere woman don't

cailindana · 09/07/2015 13:29

Lass you don't agree with feminism. We get it. I don't know why you post so much on these threads.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:38

Yes, calindana, I suspect that is where we differ. I don't know exactly how much our differences are down to different societal expectations and how much down to biology, and that is an interesting question (as is the whole nature/nurture question, not just the male/female one), but I am quite certain that our differences are more than our genitals and outward appearance. Hormones do not just course through our bodies to make us look physically different, they can and do have an effect on our thoughts and behaviour.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:39

And our environment can have an effect on our hormones... and so it goes around...

cailindana · 09/07/2015 13:40

Just out of curiosity rabbit, do you believe that men's tendency to be more violent than women is down to their biology?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:43

When most women appear to like something that I don't, though, I don't assume that they are all being bullied into it.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:44

cailindana - yes, I think I do, but I also think that tendency can be encouraged or discouraged by society.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 13:45

So, maybe some types of control of natural behaviours are desirable?...