Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

[Candycoco]

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

Guess What!! I commented on this thread a few days ago and today my year 6 dd came home giggling about SRE and when I asked what they'd discussed, she said wet dreams, condoms and shaving!!!!

... And god forbid if any of the boys looked or seemed or sounded the smallest bit effeminate. Then they got mocked by both the other boys and the girls...

I agree with mathanxiety

HRH argh! you made me spit my sandwich onto my keyboard..

I also cut myself attempting to shave without shaving cream or soap. I was very hairy and would have breathed a sigh of relief if this had come up at my (non-existent) SRE classes.

I echo an earlier poster - what a big fuss about nothing

I thought of this thread in horror today. A girl in yr 4. I realised (as she was scraping the cover of her book over her leg because she had regrowing stubble) her legs are shaved. This is a 9 year old. Why on earth would the parents of a 9 year old think it's OK for her to be trying out the modern west's equivalent of shaking a peacock's tail? (But then I have a real problem with all the 'necessary' self torture women are expected to do for the enjoyment of men).

Why on earth would the parents of a 9 year old think it's OK for her to be trying out the modern west's equivalent of shaking a peacock's tail?

Maybe the 9y herself wanted to shave her legs. Maybe she herself had been feeling self conscious about the hair on her legs and it was bothering or upsetting her? Should the parents leave the child to be upset?

I think boys have it just as hard as girls when it comes to peer pressure, and it's ridiculous for anyone to assume otherwise.
sighing maybe her mother etc had a hard time for the opposite reason and she saw it as a lesser of two evils? My friend brought up the subject and assisted with bleaching the facial hair of one of her relatives at about that age because she could identify with being the dark haired child of a light parent who didn't have that issue. And as a result of suffering name calling about it, and bad attempts at shaving her upper lip she was determined she'd prevent this girl suffering the same by nipping it in the bud

Pfft, DDs were both shaving their legs before 9yo. I really can't get worked up over this; if someone, of any age and gender, doesn't want body hair its up to them, and them alone. Nobody else's business.

(But then I have a real problem with all the 'necessary' self torture women are expected to do for the enjoyment of men).

Why are you determined it cannot be a woman's own choice? The determination of a certain type of feminist to refuse to accept women can think for themselves is wearing and irritating.

I agree with stratter it's nobody's business but the person concerned.

Yes, it's incredible how pathetic and weak minded some feminists seem to think other women are - it makes them sound almost like sexist men. As for "self torture," I think maybe Sighing would have benefited from lessons in how to shave her legs, as clearly she found it so difficult, she equates it with torture! Or maybe she's never tried and is making it all up!

I think better razors have made shaving legs much less hassle.

Sighing

I expect her parents did not know. My parents weren't aware how troubled I was by my hairiness.

I work in a school. Circle time with a sensitive teacher is exactly the sort of forum for some children to ask questions,

I find it ironic that some people have suggested that schools *put8 ideas into children's heads, and someone even suggested schools are exerting control over children. IME it is often parents who wish to foist their fears, anxieties or agendas onto children

I am a feminist, by the way. When I was hairy, no-one else was: boys or girls.

Rabbit there is a parallel thread in FWR. I posted that I think my legs look nicer shaved and have just been challenged "Look nicer what does that mean ".

It means it's your personal preference, which is your perogative.

It's self-evidently my personal preference so why demand I explain what "looks nicer " means?

Sighing, maybe she was trying out her right to bodily autonomy?

Strange attitudes towards bodily autonomy and brains of females here, and some very autocratic feminists too.

I like my legs hairless in the three months of the year that they are visible to me and everyone else. I am also a feminist, whose (feminist) DDs wear pink and always did, wear nail polish, including pink nail polish, have long hair that they care about, love shopping, love shoes, love shoe shopping, love maths and science and economics and art, play sports, and can all drive except the youngest who is 13.

I think the remarks along the lines of 'feminist, hairy and proud' actually reinforce the focus on women's appearance that we all wish would just go away. We need to get over that patriarchal habit of ours.

I'm sure that there are lots of reasons why different people may want to shave their legs. Amongst these are people who just like the look and feel of their legs that way; some who do it because it makes them feel grown up; some who do it because they are being bullied; some who maybe do it because they find going through puberty embarrassing and a bit alarming and want to hide as many signs of the changes they are going through (like thicker, darker leg hair) as possible, for as long as possible (particularly if nobody has had the courtesy to talk to them about it). I seriously doubt a 9-year old girl is going to be shaving her legs to attract men. If a man is attracted to a 9-year old girl, it's not going to be because she shaves her legs. To my mind, telling someone that leg shaving is all about advertising sexual availability is as idiotic as telling them that it's about hygiene. We all know that if no women shaved their legs, men would still find someone to be sexually attracted to.

Schools can at least help make children feel less frightened by puberty and answer any questions they may have about how grown ups deal with their adult bodies. It is not a school's place to be judgemental. To pretend women don't shave their legs, or to tell children women only shave their legs because they are acting like peacocks displaying their feathers (which is ironic, as peacocks are male...), or to refuse to talk about it, is really silly and isn't going to allay any fears children have about growing up and entering the adult world.

I think you are my new favourite poster Rabbit

Good points from math too

You should hear that out loud. Really. Thanks. I shall show that to my hairy feminist mates and shake my head at the poor little institutionalised girly girls shall I. I wont get concerned about the need for mature women to make their bodies to appear as prepubescent as possible. No, that's not uncomfortable at all.
So glad I am not either a feminist nor so gullible i leap to attention at the slightest whim of the "beauty" industry.

Right sighing so any adult who washes daily and uses deodorant is also seeking to appear prepubescent, because kids don't get b.o either. We should all go round stinking to appear adult like.

I will admit it up front - I haven't read the whole thread. So I apologise profusely if I am banging an old drum.

I teach sex ed to secondary pupils - 11-18yo. I teach about relationships, physical changes, consent, contraception, porn and probably other stuff which doesn't quite fit in those categories but shaving has never come into it.

I also teach health and hygiene and personal identity. Sometimes when we are talking about body image the issue of shaving comes up. We talk about a person's right to shave or not to shave. Regardless of sex or what bits they want to shave.

I never teach how to shave. I presume kids will ask parents if they really want to. If a child asked my advice on the best way to shave legs for example I might say I shave mine with foam blah blah.

In he grand scheme of what children learn it seems fairly low down there - both to teach and to get concerned about

So now it's your opinion that the majority of men are sexually attracted to little girls, is it, Sighing? Or have you changed your opinion that leg shaving is the equivalent of shaking a peacock's tail? Or, heaven forbid, are you acknowledging that different people shave their legs for different reasons and that you don't help those who shave their legs for negative reasons by refusing to let the subject be raised in schools, for fear of encouraging what you clearly believe to be some weird perversion. I can see that going through puberty in your household could be an alarming experience for all concerned.

Fucksakes Sighing, I shave purely because I feel cooler and cleaner. And it has absolutely nothing to do with how I wish others to view my body, because I don't go round showing my body to others. Most days I don't leave my house at all, let alone see another human, except my DD, who really doesn't care either. Neither do I, and never have, watched porn.

It is ridiculously patronising to assume that the way women present their bodies is solely for the pleasure of others. It actually makes you sound like mysogynists.