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AIBU?

To despair at how hard it is to lose weight?

193 replies

Angel1983 · 02/07/2015 20:29

I know I need to toughen myself up and it's my own fault for letting my weight get so out of control in the first place but my word how hard is it to lose weight?

I have just been to the gym and worked my backside off on the cross trainer (amongst other things). After ten minutes of really going for it (sweating and panting) I had burned only 50 calories. This is not even enough for an apple!

AIBU to feel disheartened? How do you keep your motivation? Help!Blush

OP posts:
tobysmum77 · 03/07/2015 09:18

If it comes down to stomach size you are talking about people who overeat significantly and will be very overweight. If they switch to healthy/ filling food they will still lose weight.

WorktoLive · 03/07/2015 09:20

Exactly tobysmum. How often do you hear people say 'I'm not very hungry, I'll just have a sandwich'? And then go on to consume far more calories than they would have if they had eaten something more substantial.

The idea of SW is that you eat enough of the 'free' food (fruit, veg, salad, eggs, carbs, fat free dairy and lean protein) so that you don't get hungry or bogged down in counting calories and you only have to watch the amount of more energy dense things like bread, cheese, nuts and choc, alcohol etc that you can consume to excess whether hungry or not.

Which is more or less how we 'should' be eating. When you are at your target, you can relax a little, but are encouraged to remain a member and generally follow the plan (for free) so you don't go back to old habits of eating too much crap and gaining weight.

shebird · 03/07/2015 09:23

I would recommend counting calories initially just so you become more aware of what is going in your body. Starvation diets or any sort of fad is not sustainable but changing your overall eating habits and knowledge about what goes in your body will improve your health and wellbeing.
When it comes to exercise, I personally hate gyms and find classes more fun and means I can't just walk out of a class and have to work through it. I also recommend walking everywhere, it is so underrated and the easiest activity to fit into a busy life.

shebird · 03/07/2015 09:25

Also be very aware of calories in alcohol, it is quite scary how many calories you can consume with a few glasses of wine or beerShock

tobysmum77 · 03/07/2015 09:27

I agree with that shebird, it is useful at times.

One other piece of advice is never, ever eat after dinner in the evening. I forget about this one because I just don't.

I also don't snack but this one is more controversial....

tobysmum77 · 03/07/2015 09:27

I do drink wine though Wink

3littlefrogs · 03/07/2015 09:31

Just weighed myself and have dropped another 2lb.

I find the low carbing is the only way to not feel hungry.

Breakfast this morning was greek yogurt (full fat), some frozen raspberries and a few pecans. I will be really full now until lunchtime. then I will have a salad with lots of cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, leaves and a very small amount of feta.

Evening meal is grilled meat or fish with lots of veg. Loads of water throughout the day. I am 3 weeks in now and not feeling hungry between meals at all. My skin is improving and I feel better as the weight goes down.

I find calorie counting stressful and I always feel hungry.
I guess as pp said, different things work for different people.

I do find low carbing works well if you are cooking for a family because they can all just have their rice/potato/pasta or whatever - no need to worry about cooking different meals.

Fat free substitutes are the most unhealthy con trick ever invented. All these products are bulked up with carbs and stabilised with chemicals. I am convinced that they do more harm than good.

19lottie82 · 03/07/2015 09:34

Exercise plays it's part but it's the kind of exercise you do. Endless hours of cardio is t going to do it. After all the bodies you see you want aren't caning it on a x-trainer. Weight training will make the biggest difference.

This ^^^

Spending hours on a cross trainer won't maximise the results you want.
Not that I'm saying it's a useless machine, it's not. But you need to use it effectively (intervals) and incorporate it with weights / stretching exercises.

Focusing on the cross trainer is just likely to leave you with calves of steel, that's about it!

I really recommend getting a copy of this book. It has loads of work out routines and explains how to incorporate cardio, and also how to eat healthily to lose weight.

19lottie82 · 03/07/2015 09:34

Exercise plays it's part but it's the kind of exercise you do. Endless hours of cardio is t going to do it. After all the bodies you see you want aren't caning it on a x-trainer. Weight training will make the biggest difference.

This ^^^

Spending hours on a cross trainer won't maximise the results you want.
Not that I'm saying it's a useless machine, it's not. But you need to use it effectively (intervals) and incorporate it with weights / stretching exercises.

Focusing on the cross trainer is just likely to leave you with calves of steel, that's about it!

I really recommend getting a copy of this book. It has loads of work out routines and explains how to incorporate cardio, and also how to eat healthily to lose weight.

www.amazon.co.uk/Womens-Health-Big-Book-Exercises/dp/1605295493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435912430&sr=8-1&keywords=big%20book%20of%20exercise&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

puffinrock · 03/07/2015 09:38

I would say never ever eat if it is not a meal time. Same time every day, every meal. There really is no need at any other time. I don't really get why people do snack tbh.

tobysmum77 · 03/07/2015 09:40

I don't know puffin some people say that they like to eat little and often, everyone's different.

19lottie82 · 03/07/2015 09:43

I don't really get why people do snack tbh.

Because they're hungry? Hmm

Lucked · 03/07/2015 09:47

Yes it is much easier to just not eat 50cals. I think machines give you an overestimate as well so If you do add in exercise don't eat the calories back as it will be too much.

All the current research suggests that which diet you choose isn't really that important as long as it works for you. I am currently giving 5:2 a go and I am finding the fasting has given me a new perspective. Waiting an hour for a meal whilst I am a bit peckish is now a non-issue whereas before I would have reached for a biscuit.

WorktoLive · 03/07/2015 09:52

Puffin Everyone is different, and we live in an environment where we are constantly encouraged to eat, it's often been said that it is surprising how anyone is normal weight any more.

Most ready to eat food that you buy contains more calories than most people should be eating in a meal so anyone who eats out a lot, whether takeaways, cafes/coffee shops, bakeries, fast food or restaurants will struggle to maintain a normal weight, unless very active.

And that is just meals, even if you eat your meals at home, you are encouraged to snack while out and about. Someone mentioned on another thread that a slice of Costa carrot cake contains nearly 600 calories - plenty of people would consider coffee and cake part of a normal shopping trip.

Some people feel better when eating smaller amounts, more often. Some people eat hardly anything throughout the day and then eat a massive evening meal.

I need to eat more food earlier in the day and could never follow a 'normal' eating pattern of cereal or toast for breakfast, sandwich lunch and a 'proper' evening meal as I would be starving and miserable all day. I'm actually quite hungry now, despite having a 3 egg omelette with cheese, mushrooms and spinach for breakfast a couple of hours ago, so I will probably have some fruit soon.

For the person upthread who said we don't know what weight people are, or how much their weight varies, I am currently slightly overweight (BMI 26) so am trying to lose about a stone using SW - during my adult life my weight has varied by no more than 20 pounds and until I started SW a few weeks ago, I was the heaviest I had ever been at just over 12 stone and have now lost half a stone.

WorktoLive · 03/07/2015 09:54

Cross post with 19lottie82 and tobysmum who managed to say the same as me a lot more concisely.

TriJo · 03/07/2015 09:57

I tend to take a snack (nuts, cereal bar, dried fruit etc) in the late afternoon, but that's mostly because I like to exercise straight after work and it's been a good while since lunch at 12:30-1pm! I'll also eat a banana on the way to the train station if I'm swimming before work.

I lost 32kg in my mid-20s and have kept it off for 6 years now, it is both diet and exercise that matter but diet is more significant. A calorie-controlled healthy diet will make you light, but you need to exercise too to get the body you really want. A good mix of cardio and strength training should help.

meadowquark · 03/07/2015 09:59

Losing weight is hard, being fat is harder. Pick your hard.

fascicle · 03/07/2015 09:59

WorraLiberty
After a few weeks/months of putting less on your plate and cutting out snacks, most bodies tend to adjust.

If you've eaten lunch most people can wait until dinner time to eat again

This approach does not suit everyone. To me the idea of no snacks between meals is draconican and akin to being on a very strict diet. (Same goes for cutting out carbs - I love them.)

I think the best thing to do in the OP's situation is to review eating/drinking/exercising habits, making a few positive changes to accommodate lifestyle and eating preferences, that can be sustainable in the long term. (And don't translate calories burnt through exercise into apples, muffins, lattes etc! Any exercise and any movement is making a positive contribution to energy expenditure and overall health.)

I think there's much more room for positive outcomes if you forget about numbers on the scales and focus on (health) improvements. A typical weight loss target of 2 lbs a week is, in my opinion, overly challenging and often unrealistic. Focusing on a few modest changes, ignoring the scales and accepting that any weight loss may be very gradual, avoids the risk of letting your scales dictate success.

Whatisaweekend · 03/07/2015 10:01

I did weightwatchers and lost a stone and a half - it was quite easy really but I think the motivation was the weekly weigh-ins. I never wanted the humiliation of not losing anything even though it was all discreetly done and only the weighing-person and I knew.

What WW really did bring home to me, though, was how my portion sizes had got out of control. I was cooking for dh and eating the same size meals as him. He is a 6 ft bloke so of course he is going to eat more than me!! I felt SO stupid when I realised!!

flimflamflarnfilth · 03/07/2015 10:04

After many years of SW & WW and all sorts of diets I've decided this time not to join a club/fad. I've just started adjusting how much I'm eating rather than what it is that I'm eating.
Once I'm comfortable with new portion sizes I'll revisit what I'm eating and tweak it again.
My aim isn't to lose weight at the moment, it's to stop putting any on!
After all, the weight didn't go on over night and so I'm not expecting my relationship with food to change over night either.

I find exercise the hardest part. Only 3 years ago I was at my fittest and now, I'm in the worst shape of my life following 2DCs.

This will change. I find I personally have to hit rock bottom emotionally in this area before I find the determination to change. Then there's no stopping me, especially when I see results.
Keep going OP. There's some great advice on here and you will find the best way for you.

Runningupthathill82 · 03/07/2015 10:13

I think lots of people have lost sight of the fact that being a bit hungry between meals is normal.
In years gone by, before instant gratification was so readily available, people waited for meals and hence just didn't consume as much.
Whereas now it's become normal to many people to have a biscuit mid-afternoon, a slice of toast before bed, a bag of crisps in the pub, ice cream at the cinema, a pastry while stopping for a coffee in town...no wonder there's an obesity epidemic.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 10:19

This approach does not suit everyone. To me the idea of no snacks between meals is draconican and akin to being on a very strict diet. (Same goes for cutting out carbs - I love them.)

See I find that weird because to me it's just 'normal'.

3 good meals per day

Don't view hunger as an enemy

Drink lots of water

Distract yourself if you're hungry between meals and you may well find that 20 minutes later, you've forgotten all about it.

But you're right, we're all too individual to have a 'one size fits all' (pardon the pun!) approach to this.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/07/2015 10:19

"Exercise does not help with weight loss."

Jesus F*cking Christ.

Do some people actually believe this?

Viviennemary · 03/07/2015 10:25

This has happened to me lots of times. So for ages I didn't bother. Now the only thing that works is cutting out bread. I can't do low carbs altogether as it makes me feel ill and dizzy. I totally agree Slimming World is grim. It took me a whole year to lose a stone. Eating ghastly dry tasteless meals.

vickibee · 03/07/2015 10:25

I joined WW back in mid Feb and have lost 31 pounds, have changed my thinking about foor completely. I eat so much fruit and veg now instead of crisps and pastries/biscuits. I eat lean meat / fish have cut down on carbs ( I miss bread). In addition I get up an hour before the kids and go out for a vgourous walk. It is hard at times but I feel so much better. I am only half way to where I need to be (BMI 34 ish) still a long way to go. For me it is about mind set - you have to alter the way you think about food

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