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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you let your 12 year old do this?

93 replies

Homepride1 · 02/07/2015 19:44

Dd 12th birthday is coming up and she would like to take 3 friends to a theme park for the day, I really don't want to be sat on my own all day waiting around for them as they would rather go off alone, so was thinking that I could drop then at the gate (pay see then in) then pick them up at the gate again later at a agreed time!

They would all have phones with them and friends are all 12 as dd is a summer baby

If you were friends parents would you be ok with me suggesting this?

OP posts:

shebird · 02/07/2015 20:12

I would feel uncomfortable about leaving the park, especially as you would have a duty of care to all 4 kids. I would be ok with them wandering about by themselves and checking back every now and then. I would rather find cafe or a bench in the park and just chill out with a good book.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/07/2015 20:12

I'd stay on the premises I think.

Nice cafe/mumsnet etc

popmimiboo · 02/07/2015 20:15

Last month my 13 year old and her friend went to a huge theme park to celebrate friend's 14th birthday. I posted on here as I was a little nervous but got a definite "YANBU to let them go alone."
And they had a fantastic time, loved the independence and were very sensible .

Having said all that, I would probably not have allowed my DS at that age as he is much more immature and irresponsible than DD so I suppose it depends on your DS and his friends.

RitaCrudgington · 02/07/2015 20:16

I'm not sure. I'd feel much happier if you were on site (even if you weren't actually with them) rather than an hour away or whatever. It's not a definite no but I'd be a bit uncomfortable.

Tuskerfull · 02/07/2015 20:16

I took three friends to Chessington for my 13th birthday and we got the train there - my mum didn't drive. None of their parents had an issue with it and we had a great time.

Aquilla · 02/07/2015 20:17

I'm not wanting to be a killjoy but what if someone doesn't want to go on a particular ride and ends up being left alone/approached by dickheads? That would be my only real concern.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 02/07/2015 20:18

As long as I was within 10 mins drive of the gates Id do it (and I am generally uptight!). Id issue some groundrules though : Id want a text each hour. Id expect them to be waiting inside the gates at the agreed collection time. Id reiterate that any bad behaviour would result in all futire freedoms being re assessed.

Hulababy · 02/07/2015 20:19

I think just turning 12 may be slightly young. Maybe turning 13 I'd be more happy.

Also check the theme parks rules - they vary and some say that children under a certain age must be accompanied.

Dd has been at a theme park today with school and they went off on their own in groups. School rule is 4 minimum per group. And they check in every 2/3 hours. But staff stay on the site. They are 13y.

I am not sure I'd be happy to have sent dd off at just turned 12y with no one on site. A year on, maybe, but she is pretty clued up with visiting theme parks.

Do you not fancy the rides yourself? We took dd and 7 friends to Alton Towers for her birthday this year but we stayed with them as both me and dh like to ride, and the girls were happy for us to be there.

DixieNormas · 02/07/2015 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bettysviolin · 02/07/2015 20:22

DS has just been invited and I was wondering the same thing. I know the other DC and they are very sensible, but surprised the parents are OK with it. But I know boys form his class who've been doing this since Yr7. DS was invited then too and I made excuses but they're older enough now to be sensible. I hope.

Bakeoffcake · 02/07/2015 20:22

I wouldn't let my 12 year old do this. I'm not sure why tbh but a whole day on their own on a massive site, no I wouldn't be happy.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2015 20:23

I would imagine in terms of accidents, there's never been a safer time to go to a theme park!

TotalBlamBlam · 02/07/2015 20:24

I had this dilemma a while ago with my 12 yo. One parent wasn't happy to let them go on their own so I decided to take one of my friends for company. This meant the three children could pretty much be on their own, with my friend and I in the background in case of any problems.

We all had a good time.

pollyisnotputtingthekettleon · 02/07/2015 20:25

We caught a bus too at 12. You need to let them go so they can prove they are capable. They all have phones. If one doesnt want to go on, they queue up and jump through to the exit waiting area. Not unusual..

usualsuspect333 · 02/07/2015 20:27

I'd be fine with it.

I'd consider a theme park fairly safe. I would ask them to check in with me by phone every now and again though.

SistersofPercy · 02/07/2015 20:31

Yes of course. We live near AT and DD has been going with friends since 12.

Viviennemary · 02/07/2015 20:32

No I wouldn't allow this. And I don't think I'd be happy with DC's going anywhere near Alton Towers. I heard there was another breakdown on a ride today or yesterday and people stranded. Not a very safe place at all IMHO.

EastMidsMummy · 02/07/2015 20:34

Nice cafe

In a theme park? Good luck with that!

Eversobusyeveryday · 02/07/2015 20:37

Absolutely not. I would not be happy with this at all. I would be nervous enough sitting in a cafe there and would want them to check in with me regularly. Mine is nearly 13 and I would be thinking at least 14 if not 15 before I would allow it

AlwaysDancing1234 · 02/07/2015 20:37

Personally I'd probably stay 'on site' rather than leave them at the gates. But then I like theme parks so would just go on lots of rides by myself, drink plenty of coffee and take a book to read.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2015 20:41

What do people think is going to happen?

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/07/2015 20:44

Eastmids mum - I haven't been to a theme park for years - evidently! Hate 'em!

Hulababy · 02/07/2015 20:47

Vivienne- break downs happen lots at theme parks, for many reasons and for varying lengths of times. These are very different to actual accidents like the crash at AT the other week.

A break down does not mean the ride isn't safe. It means the ride is usually doing what it should do. It senses an issue and stops.

It is because this didn't happen that the crash occurred at AT. Breakdowns are not crashes.

I've been stuck for varying times of different rides at various theme parks over the years. Dd was at a theme park today and was stuck for several minutes on a ride at one point. But those kind of incidents are not dangerous.

Theme Parks are not dangerous in the general Scheme of things. It is still a safe thing to do. The most dangerous part of the day is the journey there and back in a car.

Eversobusyeveryday · 02/07/2015 20:47

I have no idea what I think is going to happen I just know that I would not be comfortable with it. I'm struggling enough with a group of them taking the bus to a local perfectly nice shopping centre on the last day of term.

Florriesma · 02/07/2015 20:48

12 yr olds aren't the most sensible in the world.no matter how good they are for their age. And I have vivid memories of fairground workers from being a teenager. Theme parks seem to select from the same age group. Ie not that responsible! So no I wouldn't imagine that if anything went awry there would be a caring and competent adult nearby to take charge. More like a 19yo bored out of their brain marking time til they go back to uni who may or may not notice. I also remember well the fall outs at that age.

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