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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fuming over this. Thoughtless or just stupid?

70 replies

Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 02/07/2015 12:30

I was working late last night leaving DH to put kids to bed. I arrived home at 1am. Within 15 minutes of getting home, my DS started to really cry. He is sobbing, shouting that he thirsty. I went up to him with a drink and was horrified. Poor Ds had been put to bed wearing thick fleece pyjamas. I mean these are proper winter pyjamas. It is boiling hot in the bedroom. He is literally soaking wet with sweat, hair dripping, hysterical.

I go into DH who is lying asleep in just his pants on top of the sheet. He says he insisted on wearing those ones (he is 4 years old ffs and he likes the pjs because they have Woody on them) and he thought it would be ok as the temperature would likely drop in the night. I was livid and am still livid now thinking about it and can barely bring myself to respond to his messages today. Am I overreacting here?

OP posts:

JassyRadlett · 02/07/2015 22:59

Stupid and potentially dangerous. Heatstroke and heat exhaustion don't only happen running around in the blazing sunshine. Fortunately he woke up when he did and you were able to sort the problem.

I note your DH didn't wake up. Was he aware you were home? This is all pretty damn poor on his part. He's a parent. The 'he was a bit dim' apologists are being ridiculously blasé.

That's what your ds chose, what if he threw a tantrum if he didn't wear the pjs.

I would bloody hope that the tantrum would have been dealt with by the adult and weather-appropriate clothing then applied.

Seriously? You'd potentially risk a kid's health rather than endure a tantrum?

Hexadecimal1 · 02/07/2015 22:59

It could have set off a febrile seizure, which would starve his brain of oxygen. I would tell your H that.

That's a bit harsh. Everyone has made silly mistakes and would hate to be pointed out the most serious of consequences in that way.
He was thoughtless but ultimately, no harm done.

GameOfGroans · 02/07/2015 23:01

But the difference is Olympic that you didn't just think 'sod it' and bugger off to your nice cool bed for the night wearing nothing but your pants! You were there for your child when he woke up hot and uncomfortable, you didn't ignore him when he cried for help.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/07/2015 23:13

I think it's a case of your DH taking the path of least resistance, being nice a Dad rather than truly responsible Dad. Highly irritating for you OP.

Eminado · 02/07/2015 23:15

Love your username Tinkly

JassyRadlett · 02/07/2015 23:16

He was thoughtless but ultimately, no harm done.

He was irresponsible, and a little bit lucky.

BuntyCollocks · 02/07/2015 23:18

Little bit of an overreaction.

Maybe put the winter woollies away where small (and big!) boys can't accidentally get access during summer months? Saves hassle.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2015 23:22

People do get a bit hysterical when the weather gets hot, they really do!

JassyRadlett · 02/07/2015 23:23

I'm Australian. Nice try...

ASettlerOfCatan · 02/07/2015 23:28

I just found my 4 yo has changed into long sleeves since I put him to bed. Kids be crazy. I think it's just not thinking. Men don't think about stuff like this tbh.

JassyRadlett · 02/07/2015 23:31

Men don't think about stuff like this tbh.

Christ. Quite a few do, you know.

Original poster

Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 02/07/2015 23:53

Thanks for your opinions on this. I did overreact but i'm glad others can see it was potentially dangerous. You can say yes at 4 he should be able to wriggle out of his pjs if he is too hot but the fact remains that for whatever reason, he didn't. Ds told me tonight when he was getting ready for bed that when he woke up last night, he felt 'not well and very scared'. It just shouldn't have happened.

My dh generally can be a bit shit. He loves them but he is another man who will let them out in winter without a coat if they don't want to wear one whereas I force them. They are put into each others clothes making them look ridiculous but he doesn't notice unless I point it out.

And yes, to those concerned, Dh is a very heavy sleeper and part of what made me so upset was that it crossed my mind that ds might have cried before I got home but nobody woke up to help him. Dh assured me didn't but then he just snoozed through the screaming and me taking ds into the bathroom to cool him and put him back to bed . He agrees he was a twat but said ds was very upset going to bed because he had caught his finger in the door and he didn't want to upset him any further by making him take off his favourite pjs.

OP posts:

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 00:27

fugg that isn't how febriles occur

BertrandRussell · 03/07/2015 00:29

And even if they did, febrile convulsions are, in otherwise healthy children, scary but harmless.

JassyRadlett · 03/07/2015 00:32

And even if they did, febrile convulsions are, in otherwise healthy children, scary but harmless.

Indeed. But that's not the risk associated with overdressing small children (and other vulnerable groups) in hot weather.

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 03/07/2015 00:51

No you're not wrong to be angry. The heat can be dAngerous for children. Leading to conclusions and dehydration. All very well people throwing their yabu and yaor chestnuts around but it was not their child. Waking up in such a state. We all know how hot it was last night.
That said though. It was just a misjudgement. More stupid I think than thoughtless.

derxa · 03/07/2015 05:04

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 03/07/2015 08:49

A on a thread about an upset child. Did you not read op's initial post.
Another story here but I think they should be banned. They dismiss how props are feeling and make the site look like a school ground clique!

ifgrandmahadawilly · 03/07/2015 09:12

Yabu for asking whether this was thoughtless or stupid. It was clearly both.

Goshthatsspicy · 03/07/2015 09:37

I agree with you llive
I don't even see the point here?

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