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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming over this. Thoughtless or just stupid?

70 replies

Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 02/07/2015 12:30

I was working late last night leaving DH to put kids to bed. I arrived home at 1am. Within 15 minutes of getting home, my DS started to really cry. He is sobbing, shouting that he thirsty. I went up to him with a drink and was horrified. Poor Ds had been put to bed wearing thick fleece pyjamas. I mean these are proper winter pyjamas. It is boiling hot in the bedroom. He is literally soaking wet with sweat, hair dripping, hysterical.

I go into DH who is lying asleep in just his pants on top of the sheet. He says he insisted on wearing those ones (he is 4 years old ffs and he likes the pjs because they have Woody on them) and he thought it would be ok as the temperature would likely drop in the night. I was livid and am still livid now thinking about it and can barely bring myself to respond to his messages today. Am I overreacting here?

OP posts:
Preminstreltension · 02/07/2015 14:18

Gawd I'd be amazed and incredulous. It was 30 degrees in our top bedroom last night at 9pm. I spent most of the evening organising for the children to be cooler and more comfortable (fans out, cool showers, splashing in paddling pool before bed, taking duvets out of covers so they could just sleep in a sheet).

I would be wondering what the hell was wrong with a grown adult who couldn't manage these sort of thinking-ahead tasks.

MagicMojito · 02/07/2015 14:23

Yep over reaction as already pointed out by pp. Smile

I fuck up daily, mostly minor things but occasionally bigger things.Last week, DD2 (1yo) almost chocked on a 10p that I'd carelessly left on the side of the couch. It was wedged in her mouth luckily, and I got it out in a bit of a panic. Now that's a fairly big fuck up!

I get why your angry though. Its unimaginable how utterly awful it would be if something did go wrong. Being a parent can be a scary business!

AmysTiara · 02/07/2015 14:56

I'd be annoyed too

Blazing88 · 02/07/2015 14:59

I'd be fuming if he'd done that to a baby/small toddler

But he's 4?? Surely he could have just got undressed himself?

Original poster
Cuppacoffeeinthebigtime · 02/07/2015 15:55

Right, feeling more rational now. I have calmed down about the situation but I still think it was bloody stupid. To all those who are saying ds could just undress himself if he got too hot, well yes technically he could but I imagine he woke up in the middle of the night feeling extremely hot, thirsty and not sure what to do with himself. He's still very little at 4 - I don't think he should have been put in this situation. Especially when DH puts himself to bed wearing only pants.

OP posts:
emms1981 · 02/07/2015 16:19

I would be pissed off too OP this is the kind of thing my "d"h would do. He took our son to a hospital appointment once when he was about one, strapped him into the pushchair after with just a t shirt and trousers on, got off the bus and it was freezing outside. He came into the shop I worked in at the time all smiles and I said "where's his coat!?" all the ladies I worked with started giving him a hard time. He still hasn't learnt though.

justmatureenough2bdad · 02/07/2015 16:35

eminado

I dont think dad's should be allowed to get away with this sort of krap parenting.

so many things wrong with this statement!!!

WickedWax · 02/07/2015 16:36

I'd be annoyed.

It sounds not so much thoughtless or stupid, because very few people are really that stupid, but more like lazy parenting, like he couldn't be arsed because he wanted an easy night so chose the path of least resistance.

Eminado · 02/07/2015 16:40

You are right justmatureenough

I don't think any parent should be allowed to get away with lazy/half arsed parenting.

I stand corrected.

justmatureenough2bdad · 02/07/2015 16:40
Grin
CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 02/07/2015 17:42

lazy parenting on his part (much easier to give in and let him put the PJs on than reason with him) but not worthy of your reaction, which is a bit excessive I think.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/07/2015 17:44

I think that's really lazy, it smacks of him not giving a toss and I'd be fuming. It was soooooo hot last night,what on earth was he thinking?Confused

shoofly · 02/07/2015 17:57

I'd be pissed off and ranting too and DS2 who was 4 in April would not think to strip off himself. He can dress and undress himself but if he fell asleep and woke in the state you describe he wouldn't work it out.

Topseyt · 02/07/2015 18:00

Annoying, yes. Not crime of the century though.

I always chose the clothes for mine at that age and never gave them any choice. Protests were ignored.

I would have told him which PJ's or vest he was wearing and ignored any whinging.

WhatsTheT · 02/07/2015 18:04

Agree with Eminado.

Overheating like that is no laughing matter. Sure your DC isn't a 6 month old or anything. But being thirsty, sweaty and in fleece is just crappy parenting. Just shown my OH this as he's a gormless bugger and even he wouldn't do that lol.

4 year old should have been able to pull pants off though

TheCowThatLaughs · 02/07/2015 18:22

He could have overheated and fainted in the heat, glad he was ok though. I would be pissed off with dh. So lazy and thoughtless

Clutterbugsmum · 02/07/2015 18:42

Or in DS case he would have projectile vomited everywhere as he has a tendency to do if he overheats.

Pumpkinpositive · 02/07/2015 19:32

How did your DH manage to sleep through your little boy crying and shouting?

RichPetunia · 02/07/2015 19:41

YABU, and overreacting massively. You should take a leaf out of your husband's book and go with the flow, which is probably what your husband was doing when he said yes to your child wearing fleece pyjamas ????????????

GameOfGroans · 02/07/2015 20:16

YANBU and I wouldn't listen to anyone saying you overreacted. Surely as parents it's our job to put our children's needs above our own? I'm this case your DH cared more about having an easy life than ensuring your ds was comfortable and safe on the hottest night of the year.

Lazy arse!

GameOfGroans · 02/07/2015 20:17

*in

Eminado · 02/07/2015 21:35

For me it is the failure to consider the child's comfort. Last night was absolutely steaming! I felt terrible enforcing bed time as my Dd's room was like a hot box.
Like previous posters i did everything i could to cool her down before bed even late evening paddle in the play pool - it was scorching.

If HE was in pants how on earth did he think your son would sleep?!

Fugghetaboutit · 02/07/2015 21:59

It could have set off a febrile seizure, which would starve his brain of oxygen. I would tell your H that.

AyMamita · 02/07/2015 22:42

I would be more annoyed that your DH had remained asleep while your DS was sobbing and hysterical! Was he drunk? Did he know you were back?

olympicsrock · 02/07/2015 22:51

I tried and failed to get DS aged 3 to go to sleep in cotton shorts and a vest last night. He insisted on proper full leg and long sleeved (cotton) pyjamas and duvet. Had a massive tantrum and in the end I gave way, crept in and pulled duvet off. Had to go and give the sweaty child a drink at 11pm when he woke.

So I sympathise with DH - at least it would have been a learning experience for DS to dress appropriately for the weather and do as I say for once.