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DP's brother came round to cook himself dinner

32 replies

BornIn2000 · 02/07/2015 11:03

It went like this... I had cooked dinner for DP and I, we finished eating and I cleared up, the kitchen was nice and tidy.
DP's brother came round with a meal and said 'I'm gonna put this meal in the oven I'm starving!'
That's ok, I was a bit annoyed that the oven had to go on twice, we have to watch the electric metre.
Once he had finished he just chucked his plate and oven dish with his cutlery into the sink and left them there.
He didn't even bother tidying up after himself!
AIBU to be annoyed?
I told DP I don't want him coming round cooking his own dinner unless he tidies up after himself or at least puts his food in the oven while it's already on.

OP posts:

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 02/07/2015 11:06

Not unreasonable to be annoyed, and agree that seems very cheeky of him, but very unreasonable not to say something to him. Why didn't you make him clear up after himself? I'd have handed him the washing-up liquid.


EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 02/07/2015 11:08

Does he not have a home and oven of his own? Or was it a pre-arranged visit and he just happened to have not eaten? (Still rude not to clear up, though).

If this is going to be a regular occurrence, you'll have to make things plain from the start Smile


BornIn2000 · 02/07/2015 11:08

I didn't realise he had left a mess untill after they had both gone out. Sad

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 02/07/2015 11:09

It's in the very very mildly miffed category for me.

Did he invite himself? Would you rather he'd have stayed at home to have his dinner, then turned up later or just have gone hungry?


FraggleHair · 02/07/2015 11:10

I presume you know him well enough and it sounds as though you're relaxed in each other's company so why didn't you just say it to him then and there?


EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 02/07/2015 11:10

Then I'd have phoned him (or your DP) or sent a text msg saying "You appear to have left a mess - plse come back and clean it up"

My son and his little chums try this from time to time - doesn't work, I'm afraid! Grin


FraggleHair · 02/07/2015 11:11

No need for a sad face. Next time he's over just give him a jokey 'bit cheeky leaving your dishes in the sink'.


KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 02/07/2015 11:11

I hope you left the mess for your DP to clear up


Thurlow · 02/07/2015 11:12

Was there a reason why he came to your house to cook his dinner? Confused


Sazzle41 · 02/07/2015 11:14

I think you need to mention it or he's going to assume you are his skivvy ongoing. And do what EvansOval said. Very, very, very often IME, if you dont lay ground rules at start of stuff like this, people take the mick.


BornIn2000 · 02/07/2015 11:16

He's round ours most evenings. I usually offer him a meal if I have enough going spare. He's never brought his own food round to cook before though. He has a perfectly working oven at his own house.
I tidied the mess up, like he obviously knew I would.

OP posts:

tictactoad · 02/07/2015 11:20

He's a cheeky fucker.

You're going to have to say something or he'll leave stuff for the washing up fairy for ever more Hmm


SylvaniansAtEase · 02/07/2015 11:23

Text him:

'Ours tonight as usual?'

Him 'Yes'

'Great. You can do the washing up, as I did yours for you last night when I discovered the mess in the sink after you'd gone :) '


ActiviaYoghurt · 02/07/2015 11:24

So he and his brother were going to the pub, he hadn't had time to eat first so he bought a ready meal around?

That wouldn't bother me in the slightest tbh. A single plate, one knife, a fork and a dish being left wouldn't either.

Do you want your BIL to not come around so much?


EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 02/07/2015 11:25

Well, now then, that's another issue. If he is coming to you most evenings, he should surely make some sort of contribution? For example, come along a little earlier to help peel some potatoes, or clear up the kitchen completely, AND bring some food items for the meal.

If he starts off behaving this way and you don't nip it in the bud, it will only get worse!


Gruntfuttock · 02/07/2015 11:35

Why on earth would someone with a home of their own take a ready meal to someone else's house, and cook and eat it there? It's such bizarre behavior. To then leave the mess for someone else to clear up just adds insult to injury. Why is he spending most evenings with you? Confused


Notso · 02/07/2015 11:56

Odd and rude.
BIL and his wife do this at PILs, not the cooking but they buy lunch in town on a Saturday and take it to eat at PILs. They tried it ours once but I think my DC eyeballing their Mcdonalds put them off thank goodness.


helenahandbag · 02/07/2015 12:12


There's no junk food deterrent like a small child! My friend's 2yo DD was on me like flies on shit when I was trying to eat a piece of cake, hand extended and saying, "bit? Me bit? Please?"

I ended up shoving the last 3 square inches in my mouth just so I'd get some peace Grin


Notso · 02/07/2015 12:19

Grin helenahanbag


BornIn2000 · 02/07/2015 12:38

Gruntfuttock I ask myself the same questions.

OP posts:

Gruntfuttock · 02/07/2015 13:40

How about asking your DP's brother those questions then?


Smoothyloopy · 02/07/2015 14:33

I would have taken the dirty things out of the sink (without washing), put them in a plastic bag & handed them to him.


Topseyt · 02/07/2015 14:47

That's very rude and presumptuous of him. I would tell him.

Also, I don't get why he would have come to yours to cook his dinner unless there is some reason why his kitchen cannot be used (perhaps he has left too many dirty dishes all over it).

Put your foot down. At least set some ground rules. Some years ago I once called my DD1 back from a friend's house because she had left her washing up in the sink. She never did it again.


FarFromAnyRoad · 02/07/2015 14:52

This is the kind of flaky behaviour I read about on MN like this Shock and give thanks that I don't know anyone rude enough to do this. What does DP say about it and do you stand up for yourself or just accept having a non-resident lodger?


loveareadingthanks · 02/07/2015 15:58

Let me guess. You normally do the cooking and washing up?

So in his head...washing up...2000 does that....leave it here. Same as usual just that his was a bit later than everyone elses?

Still not polite but I can understand the lack of thought process about it.

If not, cheeky fecker, why did you do it? You should have left it for your DP as it's his brother. Bit pointless being a housework martyr and then moaning about it - just don't be a martyr in the first place. I know that doesn't sound very sympathetic but they can only take the piss if you wear that doormat sign on your head. Your choice really. Do it or don't do it. Don't do it and moan about doing it.

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