toddlers watching childbirth

[acatisnotjustforeaster]

Aibu to feel a little bad that my 3 year old watched a birth on one born every minute this afternoon? It was accidental, I went to the loo and they have worked out how to change channel. Saw the whole birth bit. Child seemed a bit stunned but facinated and asked to rewind the bit when the baby gets wrapped in a towel. Have I traumatised my child?

yes exactly essentially having to explain sex to a 5 year old, nooooo thank you. even in the spirit of openness i think thats too much,thats what i mean by the use of the word 'innocent ' i dont think 5 year olds need to know.

If they lived on a farm they'd probably see cows or sheep give birth all the time. Perfectly natural.

My Kids were well aware of how the baby got there. If you keep it factual they really don't bat an eyelid at 3/4/5. My dh was on hand to take them out of the room if anything got too much. Ds played with his cars and was utterly oblivious to Dd2 til we showed him. He still wasn't bothered lol.

I am honestly interested to know what the problem is with explaining sex to a 5 year old. As in, do you think sex is dirty or wrong somehow?

I also don't really get the whole thing of children being too young to know about sex. I don't think there's a too young at all. That way it will be just another fact of life to them, not some weird, other thing that they sense is taboo.

DS2 saw DD being born, and he was totally unphased by it, and definitely not traumatised. But he probably didn't have quite the full frontal view you get on OBEM.

My Kids were well aware of how the baby got there. If you keep it factual they really don't bat an eyelid at 3/4/5

Mine too, I think it's easier to tell them when they're younger as it's just another fact at that age.

really? you don't mind having 'the talk ' with a 5 yr old? about the questions about 'mummy n dad' having sex with each other,what about if they talk to girls/boys at school about how men put willies in mummies and what happens when they can spell and try typing it into a tablet etc am i the only person who thinks it a huge can of worms for such a small child.

My children have always known how babies get in there, albeit in an age appropriate way. When the boys were 3 and 2 I was pregnant with their sister and they watched OBEM with me quite a bit. I had previously had an unplanned homebirth (with the oldest boy) so there was a real chance they could witness one in reality.
They are in no way traumatised and in fact now the 7 year old is very well educated and laughs at some of the nonsense that goes around the playground.

cailindana
"Fair enough. In my past experience as a primary teacher if a child hasn't been given good facts by their parents by about age 6 then they'll learn all sorts of nonsense at school from other children. Keeping children in the dark doesn't actually help them it just leaves them open to misinformation."

My DD is 6 in year one and I've found that she's coming home with some wierd and wonderful tales this year. Luckily, since she already knows the basic facts, we've been able to just talk through how her friends ideas might be related to reality (or not).

I personally think it's easier to give them the information when they are very little and will take it in a matter of fact way, rather than when they're older and starting to get embarrassed/self conscious about such things.

When I was pregnant with DC3, DS had questions about how the baby would get out. I knew I was having a section so I looked up a video on YouTube of a calm, straight forward section. I watched it first to make sure it was suitable and then showed DS. He loved it! He was amazed when the baby popped out and asked why it was a funny colour, what's the wire (the cord), and so on. I answered his questions. He was 4yo.

He's now 5yo and DD is 3yo. They both know a basic of how babies are made - mummy has an egg, daddy has a sperm, if mummy and daddy want to have a baby they join them together and the baby grows in mummy's tummy.

If you don't keep it as a big secret you never have to have "the talk" ! They just come to a more and more mature understanding of sex, procreation and childbirth as they get older. I never had "the talk" with any of my dds - but they knew a lot more than many of their friends because I didn't restrict their access to information. I answered questions in an age appropriate way, talked about what we saw on TV and no subject was ever taboo.

The only embarrassment I had to deal with was when very direct questions were asked in public such as "mummy, my friend said you can have sex with your mouth, I said I didn't think that was true - is it?" (Aged about 6). How much better that the question was asked and then answered though! And yes I did answer it. As. A parent I think you just have to get over yourself where embarrassment is concerned. As a teacher in secondary school I came across all sorts of odd ideas - and it's often the clueless ones who end up pregnant.

There's no "the talk" - that's just making a huge embarrassing deal out of something that's perfectly normal and ordinary. My DS is four and he's just asked every now and again small things about where babies come from, so I've answered him. He's also seen a birth on OBEM - was totally unimpressed. He's shown no interest in how babies get in there so I've not pushed that one, he'll ask when he's ready.

Children have a natural curiosity about bodies. If you don't tell them the facts, someone else will. A child who is naive about sex and sexual touching is a prime target for abusers.

That's our approach, we answer questions in an age appropriate way as they arise. I don't see the need for 'that talk' and prefer it to be an ongoing discussion.

I watched lots of home birth videos with my 3 year old in the run up to my recent birth. I only meant to show her one, but she absolutely loved them, especially the bit when the head emerges.

We had good chats about how contractions weren't bad pain and how the blood wasn't scary blood, all in case she wandered in on my (planned) home birth. By the end I would happily have had her there but my husband didn't want to have to concentrate on her and me, which I could understand.

She happily told anyone and everyone that her baby sister came out of 'Mummy's bottom' having refused to believe a vagina capable of such a feat. She hasn't actually shown any interest in how the baby got in there but when she does I'll explain it like any other biological function.

I gave my DC1 (7y) and DC2 (4) very brief answers to their questions and so far we have:
Living things are made of invisibly-small parts called cells. A brain is made of brain cells, and blood of blood cells, doing their different jobs following instructions from the DNA in the cell. (They knew DNA from Ben10 and have never asked what it actually is, but that doesn't matter.)
Children look like their parents because they have some of mum's DNA and some of dad's. DH gave me a cell of his body (men make those special cells in their testicles as needed) which joined with my special cell (DD's ones are all in there already, imagine that!) and grew into the DC. (They've seen pregnant people.) We saw pollen drifting from willow catkins once; that was cells too, floating to another tree.
It's hard work pushing a baby out of your bottom, and sometimes doesn't succeed, and that's why they came out by cutting my tummy. It didn't hurt because I'd had the right medicine.
The most recent detail is that DH gave me those cells with his penis. But I don't think DC1 was really listening so I expect we'll go back to that before coming to "Yes but how?"

Just answer every question accurately but succinctly, that's my plan. Hope it continues to work....