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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send the person who ran my cat over the vets bill?

121 replies

RaaRaaTheLion · 30/06/2015 22:11

Last night, my beloved cat was run over; We arrived home moments after it happened to find a crowd of neighbours in the street around her. The driver had sped off and was nowhere to be seen.
The nieghbours were fantastic and had already called ahead to the vets, even offering to look after DD if needed while we saw to our cat. We rushed her to the out of hours vets, where we were told 2 of her legs were broken, one of which would need amputating and the other setting in plaster, never mind the internal damage which had occurred. She had to be put on oxygen and have a catheter fitted. Had we proceeded, the cost of this would have been £800, plus rehabilitation for her learning to walk again. We decided the kindest thing to do would be to have her put to sleep, as she would have been miserable and myself and DP did not want to put her through more pain - for this, we had to pay out £135 for the treatment she had, the euthanasia and the cost of an out of hours very. We also had to take her home with us and ask my DM if we could bury her in their garden as we are currently renting; cremation would have cost another £100.

This morning, one of the neighbours stopped by to check in on the situation, but also to tell us that he had found the car who hit her, and the road name they live on which is less than a minute from our house.

Would it be unreasonable of me to knock on their door and present them with the vets bill, or at the very least leave a note on their windscreen? Be gentle with me, I loved the daft kitty and really wish we'd kept one of her litter, the last of which left us on Sunday.

OP posts:

DamnBamboo · 02/07/2015 13:54

Having had a cat who was deliberately run over by a taxi driver many years ago, it does happen and sadly the police don't want to know as a general rule

How do you know that this man meant to do this?
I imagine it would be very hard to hit a cat! Stationary or otherwise

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/07/2015 14:05

But are people are really suggesting that some lunatic purposely mounted a kerb to maim/kill a cat?

no usually people just put down antifreeze.

there are increasing numbers of people who deliberately harm or kill cats or other animals. It happens.

dog snatchers, poisoned food put out, anti freeze.

It's not unbelievable this could have been done purposefully

however · 02/07/2015 14:08

But there were witnesses! Surely they'd have told the OP if it was deliberate, and the OP would have made it clear in her post. She didn't. It was accidental.

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 02/07/2015 14:17

Depends entirely on why the car was on the pavement. If the cat was minding her own business and the driver just mowed her down for a laugh, that's fucking horrific and there should be much worse consequences for him than covering a few quid in vet's bills. If the cat ran out, he swerved onto the pavement and accidentally ran her over anyway, it's a damn good thing your unilateral decision to keep an animal you either can't or won't restrict to your property didn't contribute to a worse accident, and you're taking the absolute piss moaning about the vet bill. Nobody can say whether YABU or not without more information. I'm guessing the neighbour didn't see the whole thing, could you find out if anyone else did?

sanfairyanne · 02/07/2015 14:17

very sorry about your cat

dont send the vets bill. its unreasonable anyway but the kind of person to leave a dying cat in the street is probably not going to be all that nice. you dont need further upset in your life right now

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 02/07/2015 14:23

There are people who randomly murder pets. I'm not saying it's the likeliest explanation, or that it's common, but it has happened more than zero times. Admittedly it's more common to do it anonymously instead of round the corner from your house in front of witnesses though. I would've expected OP to mention it was deliberate if she knew, but equally I'd have expected her to mention the pavement thing in the OP too. Grieving people are often poor conveyers of information.

SecretNutellaFix · 04/07/2015 20:10

Because my mother saw him speed up, mount the pavement, hit the cat before speeding off.

londonrach · 04/07/2015 20:14

Yabu re the bill. Sorry re your loss x

kali110 · 05/07/2015 13:57

Secret i am so so sorry! That is truly disgusting! What despicable behaviour! My oh def would have gone after him if that was ours! I can't believe someone could do that! How awful xxx

Spog · 05/07/2015 14:44

YABU.
it was very mean of the driver to take off instead of owning up, but them's the breaks when you have a moggy.
sorry.

VerityWaves · 05/07/2015 14:54

People are so insensitive on here sometimes.

Op I'm truly sorry about your cat. Something doesn't sound right here esp the mounting the pavement scenario.. I would knock on the door and try to get the bottom of it to be honest.

myusernamewastaken · 05/07/2015 14:59

My cat was hit by a motorcyclist a couple of years ago, he swerved trying to avoid my cat who had run out in front of him.....I rushed her to the vet and it cost me around £400 for her treatment...I wouldn't have dreamt of asking the motorcyclist for the money as it was not his fault and he was distraught x

SuburbanRhonda · 05/07/2015 15:07

People keep saying the insurance should cover the vet bills, but the OP hasn't said whether or not she had pet insurance.

I would have thought not because an £800 vet bill is manageable when you have insurance and cats can adapt perfectly well to having three legs.

I'm wondering, too, whether the OP is a breeder. Because of the high and growing cat population in this country, the recommendation from vets and animal charities alike is to neuter your pet to avoid contributing to the problem.

saoirse31 · 05/07/2015 15:08

yabvu. You've no reason to think it was deliberate. It doesn't appear to have been the drivers fault unless you've information that you've not shared yet.

Maybe driver thought they'd missed it. You don't know.

Losing a pet is sad but you don't have to seek others to blame to make you feel better.

why didn't driver stop? you don't know if the driver knew he'd hit cat, if he thought neighbours would be abusing him etc. Let it go.

DameDoom · 05/07/2015 15:40

I'm so sorry about your cat. I cannot fathom why someone would drive off though. Maybe shock or guilt? If I knocked a cat down, I'd do my uttermost to find the owner even if it meant they shouted, screamed etc.
A lovely couple accidently knocked my cat down when I was young. They brought it to our house in tears ( had a collar on). My mum was vile to them. They bought my sister and I another kitten who lived to be 23! We are still friends now.

CardinalRed · 05/07/2015 16:46

I am so sorry about your cat.
Some people just drive like cunts.
My cat was killed by a parent driving up a short residential street, with traffic calming bumps, after dropping her child off at school. She was driving fast, didn't bother to stop and left him to die in the gutter. Luckily another lovely mum saw it and came to tell us.
You'd think a parent would have the sense to drive slowly in a stret with a school in it, but most of them don't give a shit after they've dropped their own kid off.
Like I said, some people drive like cunts.

LittleLionMansMummy · 05/07/2015 17:07

I'd confront them about why they didn't stop.

However, you don't know the circumstances and knowing cats (i have 3) it is very likely she ran out in front and there was little the driver could do about it. Sorry for your loss. This is what pet insurance is for.

I ran a dog over on a motorway a few years ago. I stopped and found the owner. They had a broken fence and the dog escaped - it could have caused a crash. The poor thing had to be put to sleep. But my car got damaged and i got all the guilt. If they had presented me with a bill I'd have told them to jog on.

ohtheholidays · 05/07/2015 17:14

On the Pavement,my god they could of killed someone's child.

Honestly I'd ring the Police they need to get in trouble for this for the sake of whoever or whatever they could go on to flaming kill if they did it again!

I am so sorry about your poor cat,we all love animals in our family.To not have stopped and helped your poor cat is unforgivable even if it was in the road let alone on the pavement

Iceman695 · 10/12/2025 19:58

Ofcourse it's unreasonable, if you have an animal roaming the street and it gets hit to me that would be your fault for being irresponsible and irrelevant if it's a cat. Take the loss on the chin and take better care of your pets. I wouldn't personally pay for anyone's pet cat or dog but if it were in paid I would put it out of its misery.

Zanatdy · 10/12/2025 20:05

Sorry about your cat, very sad. But cats run out in front of cars and unfortunately it’s a risk you take with letting cats out. I personally wouldn’t be giving the driver the bill no.

TheFormidableMrsC · 10/12/2025 20:05

Zanatdy · 10/12/2025 20:05

Sorry about your cat, very sad. But cats run out in front of cars and unfortunately it’s a risk you take with letting cats out. I personally wouldn’t be giving the driver the bill no.

This thread is from 2015.

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