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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send the person who ran my cat over the vets bill?

121 replies

RaaRaaTheLion · 30/06/2015 22:11

Last night, my beloved cat was run over; We arrived home moments after it happened to find a crowd of neighbours in the street around her. The driver had sped off and was nowhere to be seen.
The nieghbours were fantastic and had already called ahead to the vets, even offering to look after DD if needed while we saw to our cat. We rushed her to the out of hours vets, where we were told 2 of her legs were broken, one of which would need amputating and the other setting in plaster, never mind the internal damage which had occurred. She had to be put on oxygen and have a catheter fitted. Had we proceeded, the cost of this would have been £800, plus rehabilitation for her learning to walk again. We decided the kindest thing to do would be to have her put to sleep, as she would have been miserable and myself and DP did not want to put her through more pain - for this, we had to pay out £135 for the treatment she had, the euthanasia and the cost of an out of hours very. We also had to take her home with us and ask my DM if we could bury her in their garden as we are currently renting; cremation would have cost another £100.

This morning, one of the neighbours stopped by to check in on the situation, but also to tell us that he had found the car who hit her, and the road name they live on which is less than a minute from our house.

Would it be unreasonable of me to knock on their door and present them with the vets bill, or at the very least leave a note on their windscreen? Be gentle with me, I loved the daft kitty and really wish we'd kept one of her litter, the last of which left us on Sunday.

OP posts:

FyreFly · 30/06/2015 23:48

Hang on a sec here. Whilst the driver of the car may have been maliciously aiming, they may also a) have swerved towards the pavement to try and avoid the cat, the cat ran the same way and was hit on the pavement, the driver panicked or thought they had missed the cat, and drove off, or b) the car was parked, the cat was under the car (as cats are wont to do, I have to check under mine for my neighbours cat), and the driver moved off without realising the cat was there.

Neither of which make the driver a "bastard", or that they went out of their way to hit her.

I personally find those scenarios much more likely than a deliberate hit and run, although I accept that may be a horrible possibility.

Nothing like jumping to a good conclusion though is there...

I'm very sorry to hear about your cat OP. I hope whatever has happened you can get some answers soon.

TrevaronGirl · 30/06/2015 23:53

I am sorry for your loss and pain however you have no proof and also no case in law so, be brave and let it go.

Again, my condolences. x

however · 01/07/2015 00:55

I'd assume the car hit the animal with force enough to knock it flying on to the pavement.

I'm not sure why you think they should be responsible for expenses.

whois · 01/07/2015 01:41

I don't really like to think the driver was driving along the road, saw the cat, decided to veer off the road onto the pavement with the express intention of killing the cat. That is just too fucked up.

MaidOfStars · 01/07/2015 02:07

If someone had tried to punish me for this I would be quite angry to be honest because I didn't choose to be put in that position and I wish that lovely cat hadn't lived on a busy road and had chosen my car to run in front of. I was already upset enough

I hit a cat over 20 years ago and I can still remember the moment vividly. I was incredibly upset for several dats and I think about it a lot.

I've been lucky since then and, despite living in cat-rammed, car-jammed side streets, I've avoided further accidents. And I use the word 'lucky' on purpose. There was nothing I could do the first time, no special driving skills would have prevented the accident, it was (bad) luck.

I also have a wierd emotional mix of terror and anger when I spy a free animal near a road. I'm not sure cat owners understand that? I am afraid it will happen again, and I'm fucking annoyed that cat owners let their animals potentially cause a road hazard and personal trauma (both for their pet and the innocent bystander). Don't get me started on dog owners who walk them off-lead by the side of a road.

MaidOfStars · 01/07/2015 02:11

Sorry, no actual answer to your question, OP. no, I don't think you should send a bill. It's not their responsibility. Obviously, if you think they ran your cat over on purpose, that's different. However, the most likely scenario (IMO) is that they swerved and mounted the pavement to avoid and the cat chose the wrong escape route.

MaidOfStars · 01/07/2015 02:12

And for the hattrick of PS messages, sorry about the loss of your pet

MidniteScribbler · 01/07/2015 02:27

Cats should be roaming, and nothing anyone can say will convince me of that. There is no valid reason whatsover that a cat should be on the road. What if the driver had tried to swerve to avoid your roaming pet and hit a child walking on the footpath? Or hit another car causing an accident resulting in injury or death? Keep your cat confined on your property and there won't be an issue.

MammaTJ · 01/07/2015 05:25

MidniteScribbler the cat was on the pavement!

lljkk · 01/07/2015 05:36

bloody hell what was the car doing on the pavement. Unless crossing pavement to access a driveway or allowed to park there?

I wouldn't get any comfort out of contacting the driver, but given you have 3 witnesses who can testify to the driver being in an illegal place, I might ring the police.

shouldnthavesaid · 01/07/2015 05:41

My cat was hit on a road a couple of years ago. He was quite happy to roam, we live in the countryside, very few cars and he'd often be out for hours in the fields. He was a rescue cat and would spend hours snuggled under my duvet with me. Will never forget finding him on the roadside, cold and sodden. I still find myself in tears quite often. I don't know who hit him but I do know they didnt stop, it was the house opposite that carried him on to the grass verge not knowing who's cat it was, and hoping his owners would find him. I don't think you or I can blame the driver (nor should you be blamed), but I think there are ways of handling the situation that helps. Just driving off isn't the way to deal with it, even though it's never anyones fault really.

whois · 01/07/2015 08:44

My friends dad ran over two (yes two!) of their cars because they used to sit under the wheels of parked cars. He checked, of course, but busy morning, rushing to get to work, raining, didn't check - squash. The. Happened again about a year later to their ther cat. So sad but not really his fault.

chewymeringue · 01/07/2015 09:00

Op do you live on a narrow street where it is necessary to park slightly on the pavement as it is in my street? If so perhaps that's what happened.

ahbollocks · 01/07/2015 09:06

Ah you poor thing :( I had similar but the cat lived, although it was a close one. Think you need to let it go, or if you havent paid yet, ask to pay in installments

cuntycowfacemonkey · 01/07/2015 09:17

It's sad but no I don't think you should send them the bill. I didn't when my cat got hit it's just one of those things. They should have stopped though that would have been the decent thing to do. If I hit a cat and someone sent me the bill I wouldn't pay, sorry.

kali110 · 01/07/2015 09:34

Op im so sorry for your loss. I would be heartbroken.
May have been an accident, but callous not to stop.

CoogerAndDark · 01/07/2015 09:51

They are highly unlikely to pay the bill out of the goodness of their hearts and there's nothing to compel them to. I wish there was and I am sorry you and your poor cat had to go through that.

Tempting to leave a note telling them that the cat they hit was so seriously injured it had to be pts but again, if they knew they did it and still drove off then they are unlikely to give a shit.

Sparklingbrook · 01/07/2015 09:57

I think an acknowledgement (if the driver did know what they had done) would be worth more than money IYKWIM.

BarbarianMum · 01/07/2015 10:05

I would try not to run over a cat (although not to the point of endangering human life - I wouldn't swerve onto the pavement, for instance). If I did I would stop and take it to the vets/try and find the owner. But I wouldn't pay the vet's bill.

On our road cars mount the pavement to park, to let other cars past and to access driveways. Not sure why anyone would think this was done on purpose. If you think they purposefully mounted the pavement to mow down your cat, call the police. That's dangerous driving (and animal cruelty).

googoodolly · 01/07/2015 10:10

Aww no, I'm sorry to hear about your car OP

Unfortunately, you can't legally make this person pay the vet bill. Morally of course it's the right thing to do, but cats have the right to roam and unfortunately you don't even have to stop if you hit a cat, whereas you do if you hit a dog. Horrible, but that's the way it is under the law.

If they didn't have the heart to stop, I think they're not going to suddenly feel nice and pay your bill. I have cats and I would be heartbroken if they died, but ultimately they're my responsibility. I think if you let a cat out to roam, you have to accept that being run over is a very likely consequence.

SuperFlyHigh · 01/07/2015 10:18

do what Barbarian says if intentional. otherwise as in Frozen let it go.

sorry for your loss btw

I recall my mum hitting a cat that rushed out in front of her car years ago (I was with her as a teenager) and she was devastated and mortified and went to apologise to the owners.

specialsubject · 01/07/2015 10:33

I love cats but sorry....get real. It is an animal with limited intellectual capacity, and unlike a dog it is not an animal you can confine.

would you prefer that the driver swerved to avoid it, possibly hitting a person? I agree that they should have stopped IF THEY KNEW THEY HAD HIT IT - but they don't have to for a cat.

you should have had pet insurance if the bill was too much for you. As for the advice to take to court; you'll be laughed out.

what makes you think the driver was on the pavement?

googoodolly · 01/07/2015 10:37

OP has said she has three witnesses that say the drive was on the pavement when the cat was hit. Not that it makes any difference to the vet bills being paid or anything like that, though.

PeruvianFoodLover · 01/07/2015 10:46

If witnesses are prepared to make statements about what they saw, then the police may be willing to consider investigating this as a criminal damage offence. If the driver was driving illegally, and hit something (no matter what it was) then they may well be liable.
But, even with three witnesses, it's unlikely tbh.

OP I'm sorry about your cat x

specialsubject · 01/07/2015 10:56

driving on the pavement is a different matter and should be reported. As noted, not for the cat but because this is dangerous driving.

fortunately it was only a cat.

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