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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re DP's comments?

42 replies

Angel1983 · 30/06/2015 19:05

I feel like I keep on posting about this man but I just feel like things are getting better and then something else happens so sorry for the rant which follows.

I was telling DP a story today about how I managed to get free train tickets because my seat was broken. He asked how it was broken but before I could respond he said something like "did you break it with your flab you fat bitch".

I was a bit upset by this comment and told him that was a horrible thing to say. He told me he was only joking and doesn't think I am fat.

AIBU to be upset by this and does anyone have any advice as to how I can handle this?

OP posts:
GinUpGirl · 30/06/2015 19:06

Think you should make it very clear he is never to say anything like that ever again or you will be reconsidering the relationship.

Justmuddlingalong · 30/06/2015 19:06

LTB.

Pancakeflipper · 30/06/2015 19:06

I think you deal with it by telling him to leave your life.

Fairy13 · 30/06/2015 19:06

Ltb. Sorry, but that's how you handle it.
You say he upsets you but then things will improve, that's the cycle of abuse.

Why would you stay with someone that says such hurtful comments?

isupposeitsverynice · 30/06/2015 19:08

personally I'd handle it by leaving him. he sounds like a knob.

nikki1978 · 30/06/2015 19:08

Erm leave him after punching him in the face?

FryOneFatManic · 30/06/2015 19:09

Nobody says those sort of things unless they want to hurt people. "Only joking", yeah, right. Hmm

LTB

AnyFucker · 30/06/2015 19:10

err, what ?

you are trying to save a relationship with this fuckwit ? why ?

downgraded · 30/06/2015 19:10

Tell him it was broken because you punched it to bits imagining his stupid, ignorant, nasty, moronic face.

Costacoffeeplease · 30/06/2015 19:10

I'm a bit shocked that you're only a bit upset - I'd be fucking livid, and he'd know it, what a complete tosser, if this keeps happening, then I don't think you have any choice but LTB, it sounds as though he has no care or respect for you

Gottagetmoving · 30/06/2015 19:11

He won't change, you can't change him. You deserve better and he deserves to be alone.
Get out before you start believing you are what he says you are.

NRomanoff · 30/06/2015 19:13

Yabu...for attempting to fix a relationship with a complete arse

HellBoundNothingFound · 30/06/2015 19:14

I'd be incandescent with anger if anyone said such a thing to me.

It's hurtful and wholly unnecessary, what a horrible man. Mug him right off and find happiness elsewhere

Oh and give a swift kick in the shin for me Angry

MakeItRain · 30/06/2015 19:14

It's not funny, or kind or respectful. It's not a "joke". I wouldn't stay with anyone who spoke to me like that. If you really don't want to leave then just tell him not to speak to you like that again.

MadMum2015 · 30/06/2015 19:14

How low is your self esteem that you were only a bit upset after that comment?

Genuinely, LTB

BlueMoonRoses · 30/06/2015 19:16

What does putting up with this shit say about you? He's a wankstain and you deserve better. Don't you?

Runningupthathill82 · 30/06/2015 19:17

Clutching at straws here, but did he say it in a very clearly joky and light hearted way? Did the words come out a bit wrong? Was it a very ill-advised failed attempt at a joke?

If not then you really need to get this guy out of your life.

Justmuddlingalong · 30/06/2015 19:18

Your self esteem must be particularly low if you have to ask how to deal with what he said. The longer you stay with him, forgiving nasty, spiteful comments, the lower you will feel. You will then tolerate more because he's chipped away at your confidence. Dump him now, things will only get worse.

molyholy · 30/06/2015 19:19

Toss pot. Dump him.

whoreandpeace · 30/06/2015 19:22

This is what bullies at school do. They say something mean and then excuse themselves by saying 'only joking' or 'banter' as if you are somehow the weaker person for not seeing the 'funny' side of it. I know some schools that will not accept that excuse for any spite. Being mean is not funny. It is a low thing to do. If my DH said that to me I would say 'I may have a fat arse, but at least I don't have an ugly face and a warped vile mind'. This man is not worth staying with. You take it now and he will be dosing up more of the same time after time OP.

paulapompom · 30/06/2015 19:24

He's a cunt, tell him that, then say "no only joking" I don't think he"'ll find it funny. You deserve better
Flowers

BettyCatKitten · 30/06/2015 19:29

Cheeky fucker, LTB!

DoJo · 30/06/2015 19:31

I've just read back through your most recent threads as I thought I recognised your username - it sounds like his behaviour towards you is getting worse and worse, and there is no excuse to say something like that to someone you don't like, let alone someone you love. He is grinding down your self esteem by refusing to even consider you and your feelings over pretty much anything as far as I can tell, so please don't let him completely destroy your self esteem. As far as I can see you don't live together or have any joint commitments, so leave him to wallow in his spite and find someone who will appreciate you instead of bringing you down.

AnyFucker · 30/06/2015 19:34

is this one of those threads where someone repeatedly drip feeds examples of abusive behaviour, hoping for just one respondent to say "that's not too bad"

AuntyMag10 · 30/06/2015 19:36

You've posted about his behaviour before and yet you are still with him.