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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is NOT how you do a bbq?

71 replies

CakeNinja · 30/06/2015 16:28

Was at a bbq over the weekend where the hosts (good friends, very nice) cooked all the meat, kept stuff warm in the oven while cooking the rest then once it was all done, presented it all on the dining table like some kind of buffet.
That's not right is it?
They actually closed down the lid of the bbq and cleaned the floor around it as it had spat out grease marks, before the food was served

AIBU to think bbqs should be an informal way of eating? Throw a bit of food on, have something to eat, throw on more in a bit, have something to eat, repeat until all food is gone over the course of the day rather than all done in half an hour?

OP posts:

Original poster

CakeNinja · 30/06/2015 17:46

Seneca now you're talking!

OP posts:

trashcanjunkie · 30/06/2015 17:52

I know someone who does this and it's fucking weird and controlling imo.... Organising the life out of any kind of group meal is a real turn off for me. It's also about one person being seen to do everything, then play the martyr in our situation. Needless to say I have put a bit off distance between us. There were many other reasons, but this post reminded me that she also did that....

trashcanjunkie · 30/06/2015 17:54

of not fucking off. Christ I'm at my wits cocking end with bastard autocorrect

Sorry.

TheImprobableGirl · 30/06/2015 17:59

Only on mumsnet would somebody drop in the bbqed quail into conversation
Bbq needs... Man swearing loudly at said bbq, rain, but most importantly much more alcohol than guests!

PenelopeChipShop · 30/06/2015 18:00

I had a BBQ at the weekend and clicked on this, terrified tHat one of my friends had posted about it! Not me thank goodness. Why on earth would you clean before eating?!

shoppingbagsundereyes · 30/06/2015 18:10

Other than the cleaning before eating bit which I agree is odd you are describing every BBQ I've ever been to or hosted. We always cook everything then sit down together to eat otherwise the poor bbqer doesn't get to enjoy the meal.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/06/2015 18:12

So you can sit down and relax after eating knowing you don't have to get up again?

Notso · 30/06/2015 18:15

The cleaning up is a bit much IMO. I don't like hosts who do loads of cleaning up around you, I find it antisocial.

My parents do the keeping warm thing, it's ok but stuff goes cold quickly. There's also much bellowing from my Dad of "dish Notso's Mum" and my Mum scurrying around moving things round in the oven.

In-laws start everything off in the oven and they use a gas barbecue which isn't quite the same. They also pride themselves on spending as little as they possibly can on far too much food they can get so unless FIL has been fishing most of what they serve is nasty.

plannedshock · 30/06/2015 18:18

Or like my in laws who cook everything in the oven, then throw it on the BBQ because they don't trust the gas BBQ to cook meat so use the gas cooker. Dry drummer anyone?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/06/2015 18:23

I start chicken legs off in the cooker then finish off on the BBQ.

Turnipsandtrumpets2u · 30/06/2015 18:31

We do this because then we can all eat together

Never clean up before though

Original poster

CakeNinja · 30/06/2015 21:57

It's just unusual to me because ive never been to one or hosted one like this.
My friends are quite anal about their home, she swept the kitchen at least 20 times and everyone kept taking their shoes off to go in and out. I went round the following morning to collect things she asked me to pick up and she was jet washing the patio to get rid of and grease! Sensible I know, and onbiously absolutely nothing wrong with keeping a tidy home, I was just, I don't know, confused?!

OP posts:

SaulGood · 30/06/2015 22:20

TheImprobableGirl, what do you mean 'only on MN'? I was merely listing the stuff we had on the bbq on Sunday. I only clarified because somebody asked.

MsVestibule · 30/06/2015 22:32

saulgood, you've got to admit, BBQed quail is pretty unusual - people are going to comment on it!!! I think perhaps improbable meant it's not something she would hear about IRL, but of course we communicate with a far broader range of people on MN.

TheImprobableGirl · 30/06/2015 22:39

Yep, exactly that! I think it's brilliant you have barbecued quail, but unfortunately my peers are yet to bring any to one of our bbq's. :( Its obviously time I changed social circles ...

Please, no offence intended, specially not in this bloody hot weather!

Therein2tics · 30/06/2015 22:39

No it's not right. You eat it as it is prepared.
Like pancake day, as pp said.

Qwebec · 30/06/2015 22:53

I don't see what is the problem either. As long as everyone was served what is wrong? We generally try to all eat together (pancakes or BBQ included) when possible. We make enough so that everyone can have a serving before cooking more and nothing gets cold, just chuck the meat on the higher grill while the rest cooks.

WipsGlitter · 01/07/2015 08:22

But unless you have a tiny BBQ or a million guests it's possible to cook 12 sausages / 6 burgers at a time. Then as pp said just as it's going out fling on the random marinated thing you bought on a whim that's lurking at the back of the fridge!!

SaulGood · 01/07/2015 10:09

I think it was the implied 'social circle' thing and the 'dropping it into conversation' comment which got my hackles up . It felt like a dig/perceived criticism. I see reverse snobbery on here all the time with this implied 'MNers are a bunch of pretentious MC wazzocks with their olives and quail bollocks' patter which is dragged out all the time. I was in a very, very bad mood yesterday.

Shh. Don't tell my brother but I don't actually like quail.

sashh · 01/07/2015 10:24

Are you in Portsmouth OP?

A friend of mine hated BBQs and wouldn't come to any at my place, then I went to one at his mum's.

Everything on the BBQ at once, then put in the oven to become rock hard while salads and bread are put on a table (with a cloth), the the rock hard food brought out and put on the table so the sausages go colld while you spend 10 mins eating a sawdust burger.

At my house the BQ is lit and when the coals have white food is put on, the BBQ is a bucket one so tiny, bread and salad is out on the table and as food cooks it is given out and some more put on the BBQ.

Everyone helps themselves to drink.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 01/07/2015 10:26

We don't just chuck food at people when it's done, we wait until the whole lot is cooked & everyone tucks in together...

Never had any problems & it's never affected the food or enjoyment....

scribblegirl · 01/07/2015 10:48

My parents are very controlling people who like things done a certain way and this is exactly how they do it. TBH, all meals involve some sort of planning which makes them far more stressful for everyone. I remember being astounded when I went to friends' houses as a teen and people just got on with making food without turning it into a regimented drama requiring timetables and the like.

I think one of the joys of BBQing is the utter informality of it all and merrily chuck bits on the BBQ as we go. We had one on Saturday and whoever had finished their food just went up and put some more food on. It's not rocket science!

Lateswim16 · 01/07/2015 10:53

Who cares about the food at a BBQ? All you need is alcohol and a sausage.

Original poster

CakeNinja · 01/07/2015 13:22

Bloody hell, doing bbqs like this the wrong way is more common than I'd hoped
Well I Wasn't keen and wouldn't be in a hurry to return, although going round for dinner is fun. It totally surprised me, I've never been to a bbq where it's essentially a formal sit down meal once the clearing up and sweeping is done

OP posts:

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 01/07/2015 13:27

I've never been to a bbq where it's essentially a formal sit down meal once the clearing up and sweeping is done

Crikey, we're not like that! Food all at once rather than in dribs & drabs - that's all.

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