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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why people are entitled when it comes to benefits and general life?

430 replies

toomuchentitlement · 30/06/2015 14:50

It is becoming increasingly obvious, from threads here and conversations with people IRL, that quite a lot of people are so entitled. Obviously, everyone is anxious about the budget coming out on the 8th and what the proposed cuts will be, and so most of the talk has been revolving around benefits and the Tories (the party and those who voted for them). It is beyond frustrating how much entitlement there is in this country!

Firstly, there are people who have lots of children and then complain that the government doesn’t give them enough to feed their children. Well – the government (i.e. the taxpayer) had no part in having these children so should you not be grateful for whatever amount they do give you? I firmly believe that when you have children, they are your responsibility. This is where people say ‘Should it only be the rich that have children?’. No , just those who can afford children – if you can only afford one then stop at one. If you cannot afford any , without ANY state help, then do not have any. If you choose to have more children than you can afford to have, then you accept that you and your children will suffer as a result of your selfish decision. Yes, I totally understand that sometimes you can have children that you can afford and then life changes course; these are not the circumstances that I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who are struggling with the children they have (or don’t have) and then decide to have more. Someone will talk about contraception failing – which is rare- and even then you have choices; abortion, adoption, keep your children and struggle.

Second key area I have noticed is about housing. So many people argue that they shouldn’t have to move house ( to find a job or to be in a cheaper area) because they have family around or they grew up in a certain area. Absolutely you don’t have to move – if you can afford to stay where you are without state help! If you are relying on the state to help you and complaining about lack of jobs, then you will have to move somewhere cheaper. Plenty of people move. Family will still be family wherever you are.

Finally (well there’s a lot more but I realised I’ve typed a lot) , is regarding work. There quite a few people who absolutely believe that we shouldn’t have to work more than part-time because its not family friendly. On some threads, I have noticed people make snide comments about ‘ what a shame they live to work and not work to live’ and insinuate that these are bad people. They will bitch about these people and tear down people in highly-paid jobs but then turn around and demand more from them (in tax). My point being ; if you do not approve of full time work or highly paid jobs, why then do you want to take so much from these people who earnt the money doing what you don’t approve of?

This was mainly to vent because it is getting ridiculous and I didn’t want to shout at my friends and family (the ones who also behave this way). Apologies for any typos in the very long post !

OP posts:
HoneyLemon · 30/06/2015 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PtolemysNeedle · 30/06/2015 18:49

Morethan, you and I have disagreed on this before, I doubt either of us are going to change our minds. The benefit system should be there as a safety net IMO, not something that provides for people's expensive life choices. It's not about saving money, it's about creating a society that consists of individuals that are responsible for themselves as far as possible, and are only responsible for supporting other people who can't be. Society doesn't need SAHPs, so it shouldn't pay for SAHPs in my mind. Individuals benefit from SAHPs so individuals should pay for SAHPs.

scarlettsmummy2 · 30/06/2015 18:53

I haven't read all the posts as can't face it, but suspect some of the more right wing posters would benefit fro, reading the below...

paulbernal.wordpress.com/2013/11/28/a-few-words-on-privilege/

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 30/06/2015 19:06

That's an awesome blog post ScarlettsMummy

sanfairyanne · 30/06/2015 19:09

www.newstatesman.com/life-and-society/2011/03/million-acres-land-ownership

it is very interesting to read up about land ownership and subsidies of some of the richest people in the uk. i also reflect on inheritance and the way it has affected land ownership in the uk since the norman invasion (or rather, hasnt much at all, unless a member of the aristocracy fell out of favour).

Y0la · 30/06/2015 19:36

I think childcare should be part of the infrastructure of society like roads etc. Why should it fall to women (mostly, and sometimes only) to bear the sacrifice for continuing the population. Yes, mothers love their children but having children, procreating is not a lifestyle choice as some sneering types would argue, judging young women for having children they can't 100% afford. So few young women of childbearing age can afford a child to be honest. childbearing age doesn't tally up with financial security. hAVING children despite that, it's part of being human and yet, in so many different ways, women incur the sacrifices for this.

LoloKazolo · 30/06/2015 19:46

I have personally contributed well over three million pounds worth of care labour to the state. Until you have done the same, perhaps you ought not be entitled to medical care.

Less than half the population are net contributors. What would society look like if thirty three million people were forbidden to reproduce? Is it a society you want to live in? Think about it, really, for real. What do you think "the state" is for?

TTWK · 30/06/2015 19:47

YABU. In a civilised country everyone should be entitled to a decent standard of living, no matter their circumstances.

Why? I get that no one should be homeless, starve, not have basic clothes, and a few other of life's absolute essentials, but why should everybody be entitled to a decent standard of living?

If everyone is entitled to a decent standard of living, I assume you mean everyone; criminals in prison including rapists and murderers, plain lazy people, drug addicts, gamblers, and people who have had good opportunities but made terrible life choices.

Why?

LoloKazolo · 30/06/2015 19:49

Why NOT?

Y0la · 30/06/2015 19:51

in order to be fair, decent human beings?

I would like to see wealth more evenly distributed. Not everybody has the same opportunity or likelihood to go and make money.

TTWK · 30/06/2015 20:03

Not everybody has the same opportunity or likelihood to go and make money.

Maybe, but if we are saying everyone, that includes people who have had every opportunity and wasted them.

And, if we take the example of an addict, how are you going to give them a decent standard of living, even if we wanted to. How are you going to ensure they spend this money on the things that would improve their standard of living, instead of injecting it into their arms or spunking it down at the dog track?

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 30/06/2015 20:09

OP YANBU.

In fact I think you're pretty much spot on.

TheHormonalHooker · 30/06/2015 20:13

My friend was in DLA and lost it when it changed to PIP. She can't walk without sticks and is in severe pain. She can't do the magic 20m either but the assessor said she could. She answered the door to him, which went against her! Hmm That's how sly the bastards are! She's done the first stage of the appeal, and is now on to the second. It is absolutely disgusting how disabled people are being treated by this Govt.

I'm dreading the time when I need PIP assessments next year.

The entitled fuckers are the ones at the top, the ones who go out of their way to avoid paying their fair share, not the ones at the bottom.

Oh, and you are beyond a coward OP for not posting this under your usual NN. I like to know who the cunts are on this site, tbh.

StonedGalah · 30/06/2015 20:33

Well not everyone changed nn TheHormonal so unless you can't read, l think you can figure out who "...the cunts are on this site".

HTH

Y0la · 30/06/2015 21:01

society is so divided as it is. I can't believe that people (people who probably identify with being 'good people' would want to polarise the divide between rich and poor, privileged and deprived even more that is currently the situation.

I'm in the middle, privileged childhood, then single mother on benefits, now back up on my feet again. I don't grudge taxes to people less fortunate. I had a rough patch but I had some advantages and was able to climb out of it.

I can't imagine wanting people to suffer more so that I could pay £4 less tax a week.

Kardamyli · 30/06/2015 21:07

OP I agree entirely with everything you've said. I also agree with the poster who said that we need to get back to people feeling responsible for themselves. Benefits should be a safety net, not something you are entitled to because you can't be bothered working more than 16 hours a week.

RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:13

This entire post makes me feel sick, and even worse the amount of people who agree with it.

RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:18

How can people have such a narrow minded opinion on this?

Every single situation is different. Every. Single. One.

You said "don't have kids if you can't feed them" what happens if you have 4 wonderful kids that you fed for years through your own pocket and suddenly you lose your job, or your husband dies, or something similar. Would the woman/man who was left unable to feed their 4 precious fed kids be entitled benefit cunts?

BitchPeas · 30/06/2015 21:31

The OP wasn't even talking about disabled people or the cuts affecting them.

I can think of 4 people of the top of my head who have left school, had 4 or more children each that they can't afford because they know that they will get extra money from the state. They don't give a fuck. They are not disabled, they were not born into poverty. They had the same free education that most of us had, access to the same free contraception, the freedom to choose to do or be anything, But they have made a choice to do this knowing there is a safety net to provide for the children that they made an active choice to have, so they don't have to provide. They are bone idle and lazy.

Why the left refuse to acknowledge these types of people exist baffles me. If they did then they might have done better at the election IMO. For some reason the left on MN seem to believe that everyone is either disabled or a victim of unfortunate circumstance! Some people are just lazy and selfish with entitlement issues.

BitchPeas · 30/06/2015 21:33

No one seems to take personal responsibility anymore.

Alfieisnoisy · 30/06/2015 21:39

Of course these people exist, the problem is that in tackling this you lump everyone else NOT choosing that life together with them.

So yes I fear the budget on the 8th because despite having a disabled child and having worked for 30+ years I will be subject to the same cuts as all the people everyone seems to know who are taking the proverbial.

In tackling these people we affect anyone who isn't in that boat and who can't just go out and change things.

RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:40

I don't disagree that there are a small number of people who generally take the piss and take advantage of an extremely generous system that makes it easy not to work (if you consider £50 a week to live on easy).

But it's all about not tarring everyone with the same brush, surely?

I rely on benefits to top up my paltry wage/childcare costs and I certainly don't feel entitled. I don't feel like I am owed this money but I also know if it wasn't there I wouldn't eat or have a roof over my head..

sugar21 · 30/06/2015 21:40

Good God OP. I would never judge people for getting help, I may need it and indeed have had to ask for it in the past. I had a brilliant job in central London but I had to leave it and runaway to a refuge. DV affects a lot of women and they have to get out and leave the home. I claimed benefits on the advice of WA as I had used all the money I had and my DD was in need. Got a job now but I'm living hundreds of miles away from every one I knew. My accommodation is terrible and I hate my life but those benefits saved me from hell.

You do not know people's circumstances and could find yourself in a dire situation next week. Do not judge or stereotype as you never know what's around the corner.

larahusky · 30/06/2015 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:43

I'll also be affected by the cuts and I can't physically do anything more than I already to get more money & it's just because of childcare bills. They almost entirely cancel out what I earn from my full time job. That's exactly why I rely on tax credits to get half of my childcare bill paid and the rest to get us by for the following month.

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