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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why people are entitled when it comes to benefits and general life?

430 replies

toomuchentitlement · 30/06/2015 14:50

It is becoming increasingly obvious, from threads here and conversations with people IRL, that quite a lot of people are so entitled. Obviously, everyone is anxious about the budget coming out on the 8th and what the proposed cuts will be, and so most of the talk has been revolving around benefits and the Tories (the party and those who voted for them). It is beyond frustrating how much entitlement there is in this country!

Firstly, there are people who have lots of children and then complain that the government doesn’t give them enough to feed their children. Well – the government (i.e. the taxpayer) had no part in having these children so should you not be grateful for whatever amount they do give you? I firmly believe that when you have children, they are your responsibility. This is where people say ‘Should it only be the rich that have children?’. No , just those who can afford children – if you can only afford one then stop at one. If you cannot afford any , without ANY state help, then do not have any. If you choose to have more children than you can afford to have, then you accept that you and your children will suffer as a result of your selfish decision. Yes, I totally understand that sometimes you can have children that you can afford and then life changes course; these are not the circumstances that I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who are struggling with the children they have (or don’t have) and then decide to have more. Someone will talk about contraception failing – which is rare- and even then you have choices; abortion, adoption, keep your children and struggle.

Second key area I have noticed is about housing. So many people argue that they shouldn’t have to move house ( to find a job or to be in a cheaper area) because they have family around or they grew up in a certain area. Absolutely you don’t have to move – if you can afford to stay where you are without state help! If you are relying on the state to help you and complaining about lack of jobs, then you will have to move somewhere cheaper. Plenty of people move. Family will still be family wherever you are.

Finally (well there’s a lot more but I realised I’ve typed a lot) , is regarding work. There quite a few people who absolutely believe that we shouldn’t have to work more than part-time because its not family friendly. On some threads, I have noticed people make snide comments about ‘ what a shame they live to work and not work to live’ and insinuate that these are bad people. They will bitch about these people and tear down people in highly-paid jobs but then turn around and demand more from them (in tax). My point being ; if you do not approve of full time work or highly paid jobs, why then do you want to take so much from these people who earnt the money doing what you don’t approve of?

This was mainly to vent because it is getting ridiculous and I didn’t want to shout at my friends and family (the ones who also behave this way). Apologies for any typos in the very long post !

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 30/06/2015 22:47
Blush Flowers LineRunner
ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 22:49

And the reason I think people need to lose their 'entitlement' is that the welfare system should be there to help people who have had devastating changes in circumstances, had children who need extra assistance etc. No one in their right mind would begrudge benefits to those who need them. I do begrudge perfectly able people taking more than their share of the pot, which creates 'benefit backlash' and allows the Tories to strip them from the people who need them most.

Loletta · 30/06/2015 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 · 30/06/2015 22:56

FlowersBrew line runner
Same thing happened to me but only 1DC

LineRunner · 30/06/2015 22:56

Dawndonna I mean it. I have seen you time after time give advice to posters (many of them lurkers on some boards) and it's appreciated.

Loletta · 30/06/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 · 30/06/2015 23:00

loletta Well said, shite always comes from the uninformed

TTWK · 30/06/2015 23:04

My 38 year old bil had a massive Stroke in March.Then he had a brain haemorrhage.He can no longer understand what words to use for things.
He is also having trouble reading and writing.Prior to his brain trauma he was a self employed IT specialist and higher rate tax payer. Never been in receipt of any benefits.My sister is currently trying to fill out the PIP forms.
It's soul destroying.

It must be infuriating that because there is only a limited amount of money available for welfare in all its forms, people like your bil who has always paid in are inevitably going to have their benefits squeezed in order to pay for people who can work but never have, probably because they pissed about at school and have no qualifications, feckless mums with multiple kids by even more feckless and workshy dads, and other people who have not suffered like your bil but have just made terrible life choices.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 23:06

Loletta I worked with benefits claimants too, for quite a long time. My definition of someone taking more than their share of the pot was someone who made no real effort to improve their circumstances or earning potential but felt entitled to live on benefits indefinitely for lots of vague reasons. I am not including people with disabilities in that - I am talking about people who didn't want to work in the jobs available.

So I'm not 'spouting shite' to use your colourful phrase. Things may well have tightened up in the last few years, which has hurt fraudsters but also the people benefits were there to protect. That's what pisses me off. That's why, like the OP, I have no sympathy for people who just feel generally entitled to be provided for. There are lots of those people about, regardless of the inevitable goats and plasma TV jokes on MN.

Quiero · 30/06/2015 23:08

Your post would only ever make sense if we were all born equal OP. As we're not you sound like a fucking buffoon.

Quiero · 30/06/2015 23:10

How many benefit claimants feel 'entitled' to be provided for? What's the percentage?

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 23:12

I think if you can earn a living, you have a moral obligation to do so.

It's really not hard to understand.

At one time I watched clients choose to stay on benefits because they didn't like the available jobs. These weren't skilled jobs, anyone could do them but the clients would only have been a little bit better off working than not working so they decided not to work. News flash: lots of people don't like their jobs but they do them anyway because they have to earn a living and don't expect others to fund them indefinitely.

It may have tightened up - I hope it has, for those capable of working. I get really angry when I see people who genuinely can't work losing their benefits because public opinion has turned on people on benefits.

Loletta · 30/06/2015 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 23:18

I never understand why this is such a contentious issue on MN. I'm a leftie in outlook and voting habits but surely people can understand that there is a limit to how many people we can afford to look after? It's just a horrible fact of life. In an ideal world we'd all get benefit cheques and a free unicorn at Christmas but there just isn't enough money to look after everyone. So, if you can work, you should work, which builds up money to look after the people who can't help themselves.

No one should be starving to death in our society. We should be making sure there's a safety net for the people who need it, not just those who want it.

TheWeeBabySeamus · 30/06/2015 23:20

I find this so offensive... last year I fell pregnant, I was in a relationship and employed. Relationship fell to pieces and then when I was 5 months pregnant the law firm I worked for decided to cease trading as changes in costs rules meant it was no longer a viable business. I worked there for less than 2 years and was not yet 24 weeks pregnant which meant no redundancy pay and maternity pay. Like many others I had no choice but to claim benefits.

My DS is now 7 months old and Ive just started looking for evening work as child care is ridiculously expensive compared to my earnings and the only family support I have is my mother who works days so I need to try and fit it around her. Not sure when I'm going to sleep if I do find something ( and it would have to be cleaning, bar work or shop assistant as it needs to be nights so min wage ) or even if it will cover my bills Sad

You can't predict the future, you don't know what's around the corner and sometimes life deals you one shit hand after another and benefits are supposed to be the safety net that saves people when things go wrong.

I don't understand why people are constantly having a go at claimants. Like we're not at a crappy enough point in our lives, why the need to pile on and knock us down further.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 23:20

Loletta I met both types. What annoyed me most was that often the people who most hated claiming got the least because they didn't know how to work the system the way some of the 'professional' benefits claimants did.

You may dislike my opinion, you may even feel it is crass (it probably is blunt) but it is most definitely not uninformed.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 30/06/2015 23:21

I'd like to be the first to tell you to fuck off, OP. With bells on.

I'm entitled to my opinion.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 30/06/2015 23:23

WeeBaby I don't believe anyone on this thread would want you to feel that way. IMHO the benefits system is there to help people in your situation and should help you until you are able to support yourself. It's a safety net, it's there to catch us when we fall.

LineRunner · 30/06/2015 23:24

How does 'professional' benefit claiming work, then? Are the claimants' doctors all on the rob, too?

Quiero · 30/06/2015 23:24

So what should we do to these entitled, lazy bastards? Let them starve? Put them in workhouses? Prison?

What is the solution?

How do we distinguish the deserving from the non deserving poor? Is there a nice, neat humiliating test for them to go through?

HelenaDove · 30/06/2015 23:25

toomuchentitlement Tue 30-Jun-15 16:49:10
Waffly They either rely on family and friends for help (not strangers=state) or they make it work. If your family cannot support you, why do you expect strangers to do so for more than a year?

But what if those family and friends have taken your advice and moved to look for work?

Loletta · 30/06/2015 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 30/06/2015 23:26

WeeBaby, you've done a brilliant job. Good on you Flowers

sugar21 · 30/06/2015 23:31

When all is said and done, benefits are not much, you have to be really skilled at playing the system to stay on them. We do have workfare, training schemes etc and if a claimant doesnt attend these they are sanctioned. Housing benefit goes straight to the landlord
I was ashamed to go and sign on, made me feel like a piece of dirt due to perceived prejudices.

TheWeeBabySeamus · 30/06/2015 23:34

LineRunner thank you Smile