to feel uneasy about this

[STATUSQUO63]

So dh has 2 brothers. Their father has died and has left them maybe 150k each in the will after debts etc. This is enough to pay our mortgage off and leave us with a 75k ish cushion. Their wifes including me have each been left 10k.
So we have a 9 year old a 7 year old and a 2 year old and I sah. Dh has a job earning maybe 65K. He has today resigned as he is unhappy at work and quite frankly his brothers have encouraged him to resign as life is too short which I get to a certain extent.
He has to work a months notice so we have an income for a month and a one month savings cushion. now if fils flat sells quickly we will be ok but if not we will struggle.
The brothers have discussed it and have decided that there is enough money to pay the fixed legacies to the wifes.
aibu to be worried that my legacy is likely to be eaten up paying regular bills whilst waiting for funds to come though.
dh has sad he will top it up but it still doesn't sit right. quite frankly I actually find it weird that I have been left money at all.
So aibu to feerl a little uneasy about this situation.

YANBU to be concerned that your husband has quit his job without another one to go to, or a fixed date for his inheritance to arrive.

But YABU to be concerned that "your" might get used up on family expenses in the meantime. You obviously don't have the same reluctance to spend "his" inheritance or wages on the family. Seems a bit "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too." Sorry.

*"your" 10k

I agree with SaucyJack, your husband has been silly but if you want your ?10k to yourself then the ?75k is just for your husband.

I thought the MN mantra was 'all money is family money', looks like it is unless you're female and you get ?10k.

Your husband earns a good salary, how can you possibly only have a small amount of savings? Why haven't you both been putting money aside?

We have approx 3k in savings actually. Was nearer 10k (the remains of my old tessa account actually). However in recent months we have had the boiler go, 2 hefty car repairs and a few other essential household repairs.
I only really want 1k for me to spend on seeing family overseas. My dc have just lost their last remaining grandparent so naurally I want them to see family they haven't seen since 2010 and dh isn't keen on spending family money on such a trip. The last time it was paid for from my mums small estate.
The rest I would rather keep for dc and or to cover the next big unexpected bill. Although I accept the rest of the inheritance should cover that.
What I don't want is it going on normsl living expenditure and than finding that come Christmas the inheritance is still not forthcoming and we are having survive on either no money coming in or on a much lower wage.

O and dh pays 600 per month into a pension which with mortgage and council tax writes off 2k per month.

Will he be receiving any pension when he leaves this job?

My dh is set to inherit money from his parents home sale. They died over 3 years ago. If we were waitING for that money we would have starved to death. I understand your feelings about the 10000 .That was a lovely unexpected bonus but now you can't spend it on a nice holiday for you all or whatever as it will be swallowed up by bills and the excitement is gone. I think your dh should have stuck the job until he got another one or money came through. Also as a parent of older kids windfalls should be kept for small treats mortgage and then college education fund and not everyday living.It will just dribble away and the lovely cushion it could be is not there.

Sorry not 100% sure pension figure but probably nearer £500. He has two policies.

No another 18 years to go before pension although contributions will go down as will no longer be paying into workplace one.

Its sods law that if you walk from a job a new one never just materialises quickly. Whereas if you are in work, opportunties seem abundant. He really shouldnt have resigned and you need to get funeral expenses paid out back from the Estate. Why should you take the hit for it? The flat, is it in good order to get a quick sale? If not, bucket of magnolia, some new carpet and tell agents quck sale needed and all offers considered. Could renting it out be an option til its sold? At least you are job hunting too, so all is not lost yet.

I'd be furious if my DH made such a massive decision without sgreement--especially if he was the sole wage earner and had young children. I could understand it a bit more if your DH's job was making him ill, but to do so on a whim is utterly irresponsible. We discuss spending any more than £100 (well DH has just lost his job so right now we discuss spending any more than £5 )

your DH better be applying for lots of jobs, that's all I have to say!

If there is money in the accounts your DH and his brothers will be better off paying the inheritance tax first rather than the DIL's.
It is due after 6 months and starts accruing interest after that.

Surely as solicitors they know that.

Going on the figures you have given 3 x £150k + 3 x £10k = an estate worth approx £480k. so an approx figure of £62k tax. which will in fact be more as you said there were debts to pay?

You are right to be feeling uneasy - about a lot of things.

Fortunately he can use his late wife's inheritance tax allowance so hopefully estate will be below the limit but thank you for replies.

Sorry, who can use someone else's IHT allowance?

Yes, confused about the inheritance tax thing!

I think what he's done is mad.

IHT allowance can now be passed between spouses (another reason to be married).

OP - has he really left specific sums to the sons, or is the £150k their estimate of what they'll get?

Just an estimate. Final value will depend on how much flat goes for athough there are some savings too.

Why don't you two switch roles? Let him be a sahd for a year or so and you find work.

oh hang on, I think the terminology is confusing me. "Passed between spouses" - does that effectively mean if your spouse passes on, then their allowance gets given to the surviving partner?

I can't remember what the limit it - so first spouse dies, they had a limit of what, £325k, and that then passes to their partner so that partner can leave £650k free of IHT - is that correct?

so many things can go wrong with a house sale, that's why I'd be concerned, as the OP is.

We could switch roles but realistically I would probably earn about a third of his income. I also know he would be a lazy sah.

I am a beneficiary of two seperate wills from dear deceased who died last year and I have not yet received any money as you cant even market houses til probate and that can take months.

Gosh what us his answer to 'what if it takes several months to sell' which isn't uncommon. Also once 'sold' it can take several months before completion ie when you actually get the money.

The property can be out up for sale prior to Probate being granted however you couldn't exchange contracts until it has been granted (we did this with my fils property)

My FIL left a similar sum to his children's spouses, with the only stipulation that 'we have fun with it' .. He was extremely unwell for several years and I think it was his way if saying thank you.

But whilst I did have fun with it, it was never my money and before I made any big purchases I talked about it with my DH .. 2 pieces of jewellery which hopefully one day I will leave to my boys wife's.

I think he has been very foolish