I suspect IABU but I need confirmation either way.
DH and I are already legally married, but we did so abroad and now that we are living in the UK we are planning on having a sort of wedding/reception for all the guests who couldn't travel to us at the end of August, which is the vast majority of my family and friends.
When we got engaged in 2011 my friend asked if she could be a bridesmaid during a trip back to the UK. She caught me off guard and I said yes without thinking it through. We have been friends since sixth form but I left the UK as soon as A levels finished and have only seen her once per year at my instigation. She has shown no interest in my life since then and it has very much me keeping the friendship going IYSWIM. She has always relied on me for advice and a shoulder to cry on when things with men/friends go tits up but never even managed to remember my now DHs name or the name of the country I was living in. She didn't want to come to our actual wedding as it would have meant travelling alone.
Last year DH and I moved back to my home town and now live less than a mile away from her, I have seen her only twice-both at my suggestion. The last time was in January when she was eager to confirm I still wanted her as "bridesmaid". Since then she has spoken to me on the phone on numerous occasions only when she's fallen out with someone or wanted to bitch about a former classmate of ours. (Who she was very recently BM for at her wedding). She has made it very clear for that wedding that she wanted to be BM for the sake of it, rather than because she likes our former classmate. Recently she has not been replying to my emails and calls and says she is busy when I try and arrange to meet up, after suggesting she lets me know when she's free I hear nothing.
The reception is in less than two months and I'm not even sure if I want her there at all. Tell me I'm being petulant but I'm really just tired of always making the effort with her and trying to force the friendship when it is so one sided unless she needs someone.
AIBU to tell her I don't need her as a BM? (How would I even word this??) I've lovely, supportive friends that I didn't ask because she had already asked me.