AIBU not to expect household items as gifts?

[3rdrockfromthesun]

First time poster and long time lurker so please don't flame me. I will keep this short. MIL, since DP and I brought the house, has been giving me household cleaning items as presents, but DP gets non household items! This has included a peg bag with the reduced label still on (I aready have two), clips help change duvet covers, her unused freezer clips and clips for the ironing board.

AIBU to think that it is unfair to be given household cleaning items as presents just because I am female?!

How do I get her to stop without offending her too much?

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

So just let your DH buy for her.

Then you won't be pissed off comparing what she gave you to what you gave her...

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

oh I've just remembered the year MIL decided we obviously needed some new everyday crockery. so rather than ask us what colour/pattern we would like, she decided to get some that fitted the colour scheme of the dining room - in the house we had just bought, and not yet redecorated.

so on my autumn birthday, I open my gift and its 6 cereal bowls and mugs. a month later, DHs birthday, he gets side plates and dinner plates to match! we did LOL about that! Then we got half a set of cutlery each at xmas!

I don't mean to sound like an ungrateful cow but the pattern on the crockery was not my taste or colour and for something you want people to use everyday, I would always be more inclined to ask what they would like/prefer.

[3rdrockfromthesun]

PHANTOMnamechanger your post made me think of the time my MIL said that she would buy us some placemats without consulting DP or myself on what we liked or wanted but said that she would buy some from a charity shop so that if we didn't like them, we could return them! I was half expecting them to turn up when we next saw them but they didn't!

[Moomintroll85]

My MIL buys crap (and weird) gifts. I got a dishcloth once with the explanation that "I know DP doesn't do dishes or cleaning so thought you'd appreciate it!". Thanks but despite you not bothering to bring him up to pull his weight with housework he has since learnt!

I like to buy thoughtful gifts for people but have now given up that approach with her.

Just laugh it off and give her shitty gifts too.

[MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain]

For those of you asking about the clips, I give you .... no expense spared duvet clips!

These are also a present ... for a friend's DH


(Though not for a birthday, that wold be mean. Might wrap em for Christmas though! )

[cantbelieveimonhere]

3rdrockfromthesun ?it sounds like you are buying her token boyfriend's mother type gifts, rather than ones you know she will like
maybe you should buy her something that will invest in your
relationship, joint experience she would like eg afternoon tea/paintballing. As a result you will both know each other better.

[grapejuicerocks]

in the past i have given her a radley handbag (from the outlet but still..), a clinque gift set, thing that you put your water in next to your bed (forget what it is called) and a decorative plate.

Tbh these presents sound my idea of hell. Very personal, wouldn't be to my taste and I would be very ungrateful. I'd much rather have the household items.

Why don't you suggest writing lists for main presents and say put a fiver limit on surprises?