To request that my DH doesn't suck my nipples when I'm asleep

[Luxme]

I was just asleep in bed (hectic day with LO) and my DH woke me up by sucking my nipple. I absolutely hate this and have always done (he knows this and i wasn't able to breastfeed for very long as the sensation of anything on my nipples makes me feel disgusting) and then says 'you used to let me' (he's confusing me with his ex i think as i have never let him). then after i tell him off says 'ok ok' (he said this last time and has done it again).

Childishly i have put his toothbrush down the toilet. because without screaming at him, this is the only way i can think of getting him to realise how much i hate this as the only comparison i have is that he hates not being able to brush his teeth as that also makes him feel disgusting.

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Hmmm.

If I have an afternoon nap I tend not to be naked. Hence nipples are unavailable.

Is he hoping you won't wake up, so he can carry on without you stopping him? Very creepy if so.

You what?

I think its the 4th, possibly the 3rd. the first time was in the bedroom and it was all over. It wasn't a long suck, he just kind of kissed it.

sorry lots of xposts then. If you have tried talking and screaming then yes, you should consider LTB, if only as a short term measure to shock him into seeing things your way.

Give him an ultimatum. Once more and thats it.

It's sexual assault. But this is AIBU where some posters will feel the need to attack the OP regardless, so be prepared for your frustrated response regarding the toothbrush to become the biggest crime here.

Have a spray bottle by the bed and spray him if he attempts again.

Yes he's generally ok apart from this which is very annoying.

that's totally out of order for him to do that to you! (doing stuff to his toothbrush won't help matters though i don't think)

Sorry, that is a bit rapey not on. Does he show so much disregard and disrespect for you in other areas of your life too?

Awful. I would hate feeling like I couldn't have a kip without dh doing this. I wouldn't feel comfortable in my own house.

I doubt it will either. I'll tell him, once more time and i'll ring the police as its sexual assault.

Luxme this isn't ok. It's not ok that he does this. You need to talk to him. What happens next time he does it?

he's done it 3 times in 6 years so I can have a kip and him not do it.

X post.

Perhaps write it down too. Email him. I know it sounds cold, but maybe it'll help? Then you have proof that you've asked him not to do it again so he can't pull this 'you let me do it before' Bullshit.

IMO it would be very unusual if this was the only thing he did, are you sure everything is ok apart from this one thing?

When he discovers the toothbrush, I am going to tell him if he does it again I'll be considering ringing the police as its sexual assault.

But he knows you don't like it and he still does it. So either he likes making you feel weirded out (and knowing that he has power over you while you sleep) or he just doesn't care about your feelings either way.

And if this is genuine, YANBU.

Real men do NOT behave this way!

Just horrible. I wouldn't be with a man who did that.

I'd work on my assertiveness if I were you. You seem to have difficulties in general regarding communication with the men in your life.

I am afraid to say this is genuine! Why wouldn't it be genuine?! Do people make these things up and put them up?

All good food for thought! I'll be putting alot of these points to him. I'm considering this email thing as a good idea.

Ask your local Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) to explain to him that this is sexual assault.