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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say something? Small children on quiet coach

121 replies

Balacqua · 28/06/2015 16:57

Family with two toddlers in here.journey just started. I don't want to be an arse, maybe they don't realise- could be tourists, not sure - aibu to say something, nicely?

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/06/2015 17:29

They're toddlers doing what toddlers do. So what's the problem.
You've just answered your own question. They're kids not robots.
Their parents paid their money just as you did. They have as much right to be on that coach as you do. Hard as it may be you'll just have to suck it up. You can hardly tell parents to discepline kids for erm being kids.

tethersend · 28/06/2015 17:31

I wouldn't take my toddlers into the quiet coach either- except when my booked seats end up being in the quiet coach, which has happened to me a number of times.

I don't know why train companies do this, it's not fair on anyone. Not fair on quiet passengers who have booked the quiet coach on purpose, and not fair on families with small children who have to stagger up a moving train in order to find unoccupied seats just to avoid pissing people off, which seems completely unreasonable.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 28/06/2015 17:31

Ilivein, it's the quiet coach. What's the point if it's not, erm, quiet?

Eatsleepwork · 28/06/2015 17:33

I agree in principle that it's the quiet coach and people should be quiet. However, I once boarded a train to find that my reserved seats were in the quiet coach. I walked through the train looking for more seats (with two dc) but there weren't any and eventually found the train guard. When I explained the problem his response was 'you have children. Children make noise. Go and find your seat and enjoy the journey'. This kind of defeats the purpose of a quiet coach imo.

( dc were remarkably well behaved and didn't make any noise!)

Trapper · 28/06/2015 17:33

Agree with PP. it's infuriating that you cannot request 'non-quiet' carriages when reserving seats.

CalmYoBadSelf · 28/06/2015 17:33

Ilive Of course children will do that and their parents have paid for seats on the train but they should not be in a Quiet Coach unless they can be... erm, you know... QUIET! The clue is in the name

Glad you got a result OP

sadwidow28 · 28/06/2015 17:34

Confused It took us all of page 1 to figure out what the problem was.

I then asked a question, "Can you tolerate it for a short while?" (I meant, was it the excitement of the train setting off - and perhaps calm would be restored by the parents after 5 minutes or so)

By the time I got back to the thread, the OP had spoken to the conductor and had been moved.

sallysparrow157 · 28/06/2015 17:34

I deliberately book the quiet coach when I'm on the train to something work related or an exam so I can work/study/prepare for talks I am giving and so on. People just chatting (or, on a particularly notable occasion when I was stressed!) eating crisps loudly behind me can piss me off but I accept then I am being unreasonable.
When I'm on the train for non work related stuff I quite enjoy listening to toddlers and young kids chatting and playing (I can't justify complaining as I remember at the age of 4 treating a train carriage to a not very tuneful rendition of a song I'd just learnt at school complete with hand actions!)
However if I've deliberately booked a seat in the quiet coach I've done so as I need a quiet environment so I would not be happy with parents with toddlers being there unless the train was completely packed and there was nowhere else for them to go. I'd also expect the train staff to find them a seat elsewhere so they didn't have to treck down the train with buggies and bags and stuff on the off chance they'd find a seat

Stratter5 · 28/06/2015 17:35

The problem is it's the quiet coach. It's there for a reason, and, as OP said, there's plenty of other seats.

It's not dissimilar to sitting in the non smoking carriage, back when smoking was allowed, and being annoyed with someone smoking. It's meant to be quiet, otherwise it's pretty pointless having one.

quietbatperson · 28/06/2015 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/06/2015 17:38

If it is a quiet coach. Why did they allow children on I wonder.
Because with the best will in the world there is no way my child would have sat robotically, not saying a word for God knows how long. Yep I must hVd the only child in the world who has every acted up because all yours must have been little angels.

ribbitTheFrog · 28/06/2015 17:39

Yanbu, the parents are being dicks for taking toddlers into the quiet coach when there are seats available in the normal coaches. This type of selfish behaviour gives parents a bad name imo.

Earlybird · 28/06/2015 17:40

OP - yanbu.

However, understand how it may have been an honest mistake by a frazzled Mum, or perhaps she was given reserved seats in the coach.

I find it interesting that the conductor moved you (and not her/the dc) if there were plenty of seats available elsewhere.

HoneyLemon · 28/06/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

broadbeanstew · 28/06/2015 17:44

I thought quiet coach was just no music/mobile phone conversations etc, not no talking.

We travel by train frequently and at least half the time seem to end up with reserved seats in the quiet coach. My kids play/draw/read at a normal volume. I wouldn't let them shout or run riot (nor would I in a normal coach for that matter) but I certainly don't make them sit in silence! After all, other passengers are talking to each other too.

Fluffyemenent · 28/06/2015 17:44

Oh for god sake there are some pompous arses on this thread. Learn a bit of tolerance, you can't help encountering other people if you leave the house and unless the toddlers are being frankly naughty chill the f**k out.

Stratter5 · 28/06/2015 17:44

However, understand how it may have been an honest mistake by a frazzled Mum, or perhaps she was given reserved seats in the coach.

Think that's a very fair point, of all people a mother with small children is likely to have reserved seats. I can't imagine the hell of toddlers on a train and nowhere to sit.

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 28/06/2015 17:45

Eh?! The quiet coach is for those who would prefer to spend their journey quietly! Doesn't mean they don't like being around children at other times.

It's ridiculous to say the parents and their noisy children have a right to be there because they've paid for their tickets, same as everyone else! If they have booked the quiet coach with their noisy children they are selfish; you can't keep chn quiet (it's actually impossible) and having toddlers there completely defeats the purpose of having a quiet coach. I expect, however, that they've sat there by mistake.

I have three noisy children and wouldn't dream of booking tickets in the quiet coach!

sadwidow28 · 28/06/2015 17:45

But if you look at my original posts, I actually wondered if the OP had booked the QUIET COACH so that her toddlers could have a nap whilst travelling and it was tourists who were making the noise.

SirChenjin · 28/06/2015 17:48

Unless they are screaming and yelling then YABU. Quiet means no loud noise, not silent.

I remember ages ago booking a seat in the quiet coach because I wanted to breastfeed DC3 and DD wanted to read. 2 women got on and sat in front of me, and informed me that I was in the wrong coach with a baby, and they didn't want any noise. I told them I would bear that in mind and would of course move if he cried. He fed, went straight off to sleep and didn't make a peep. The 2 women, on the other hand, talked and laughed loudly for the entire 2.5 hour journey

ConfusedInBath · 28/06/2015 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Duckdeamon · 28/06/2015 17:50

The Danes would say YANBU and that toddler DC shouldn't be in there!

I once took a journey in a quiet coach with a screaming small baby who eventually fell asleep. Someone's mobile later vibrated a few times and the father of the baby told them off! People in the carriage were

We went to Copenhagen on a family trip with the DC, accidentally sat in a quiet carriage and were politely but firmly asked by passengers next to us to be quieter or leave, fair enough!

broadbeanstew · 28/06/2015 17:51

It has been said several times on this thread that it is impossible to specifically reserve seats NOT in the quiet coach. Therefore she most likely just reserved seats and didn't know until she got on the train that her seats were in the quiet coach. It has happened to me several times.

MayPolist · 28/06/2015 17:53

YANBU.
The quiet coach is what it says .It is not up to passengers in there to 'enjoy toddlers exuberance' or even be tolerant of it-they have booked 'quiet' for a reason.
Not Ok to bring your toddlers in unless you gaffer tape their gobs shut and their bums to the seat.

HeffaLumpers · 28/06/2015 17:55

When booking train tickets there is no option to select that your are not placed in the quiet coach. It could well be the case that the parents are uncomfortable with being in the quiet coach and are not being inconsiderate if there are no other seats. Are they supposed to stand for their journey with two toddlers if they have pre booked seats and there are no other seats available?

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