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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to photo shop in MIL wedding pics

31 replies

robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 17:26

She is missing from the crucial parents together shot. She has dementia and wondered off. DH says leave it but I feel strange without her there.

Also in all the excitement groom is missing from my extended family picture. Is this the norm to just have bride with family? DH says it is but I thought it was bride and groom together.

Basically I want to Photoshop and he doesn't...

Am doing album and are now noticing peeps missing from 'display on wall' shots for parents.

What is the etiquette here?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/06/2015 17:31

Don't do it. See if you can find another nice photo she's in instead.

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 17:34

Why not? Shes in lots of nice ones but none with entire family Sad

OP posts:
CrohnicallyAspie · 27/06/2015 17:37

I'd get one of those nice multi picture frames and put a few pictures in there, so you can see everyone. I wouldn't photoshop because a) it looks shit unless you're very very good at it, and b) even if it's the best photoshop ever you'll still know it was faked. I'd rather stick with real photos.

MemphisBella · 27/06/2015 17:39

Do it, and ask a brutally honest friend if it looks shit or not.

Then take their advice either way. Can't hurt to try! As a PP said, it'll all come down to the skill if the photoshopper.

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 17:40

It would be with a professional Photoshop.

Did you guys have missed photos if married?

OP posts:
TheCunnyFunt · 27/06/2015 17:41

I agree with Aspie, you would know it was faked and it just wouldn't feel right. A collage type frame is a good idea, you can have several different photos that you like.

KillmeNow · 27/06/2015 17:42

I can for the life of me see why you wouldn't do at least one photoshopped photo if you want it.

Have a play around and see what you come up with . Printed photos dont always look as sharp as they do on the screen so it might just work for the sake of inclusion in a multi photo frame for example.

If it looks crap then at least you tried and if it looks great no-one needs to know.

KillmeNow · 27/06/2015 17:43

can't

blendedfamilygrinch · 27/06/2015 17:45

I wouldn't either. I see photos as memories of the day. They wouldn't be real memories then. Multi photo frame with a selection sounds like a good idea. Can do similar collage style albums too...

MemphisBella · 27/06/2015 17:47

I'm missing several shots that I wanted from the wedding, but a few years on and it doesn't bother me.

CrohnicallyAspie · 27/06/2015 17:48

robin yes, we have family members missing on some photos. One elderly member was too frail to walk to where we had our big group shots taken, but we have some lovely photos of just her and us, and it's a special memory of ours as it was the last time we saw her, (she lived a long way away and she died a few months later).

CrohnicallyAspie · 27/06/2015 17:48

We have a collage style photo book too, from lidl!

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 18:04

Thanks guys for reassurance!

OP posts:
itsmeitscathy · 27/06/2015 18:05

we have family photos where a family member was too ill to be there. Although it looks fine, (taken before I was born), everyone knows they weren't there and comments on it each time. in short, no matter how good it looks it doesn't fix it if you see what I mean? you'll always know she wasn't it the photo.

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 18:14

I didn't know lid did albums?

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 27/06/2015 18:45

It's not an either or, is it. You would have the version with, and the version without. One day in 50 years time your grandchildren will wonder why she wasn't in the photo

Noodledoodledoo · 27/06/2015 18:46

I had to have one picture photoshopped in my wedding pics and it looks dire - and was done by a professional. Ruined the picture without it being done and there were none which were ok so had to do it.

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 27/06/2015 18:54

Why was it dire noodle?

OP posts:
NotGoingOut17 · 27/06/2015 19:03

I'd take the lead from your Dh to be honest. Photo shopping the photo might just be a painful reminder in years to come that his Mum was ill and that you had to fake a photo to get the memory you wanted. Like others have said it wouldn't be a real memory and i think would always taint what is presumably a nice photo. I like the idea too of creating a collage and including another picture of his Mum.

I also think (in the nicest possible way) that you are overthinking it a bit - if i saw a photo of a bride and her family I would think it was deliberate unless you said anything different.

LapsedTwentysomething · 27/06/2015 19:04

Lots of missed photos from our wedding but it really doesn't matter. We know who was there. Photoshopping them in would look shit and feel fake, as a a pp has said.

CrohnicallyAspie · 27/06/2015 19:43

robin they have a website where you download some software, then put your pictures on, you can choose the style of book and which photos you want to appear. The software automatically puts the pictures where it thinks they will fit best (face recognition) you just check through and adjust the size and crop any pictures that the software 'got wrong' (ie centred it wrongly). It was actually quite fun to do and easily done in one evening.

Then you pay and a printed photo book arrives in the post shortly after!

wafflyversatile · 27/06/2015 19:47

Do it. If you don't like it then all you've lost is the cost, same as any other purchase you ended up not using.

chocomochi · 27/06/2015 19:55

Nothing to add re photoshop, but think it's a lovely idea and shows how lucky your MIL is to have a daughter in law like you. It's a refreshingly different as I thought the post would be about photoshopping MIL out of the photo!

2rebecca · 27/06/2015 20:40

You know she wasn't there and you know why. Photoshopping seems like you're ashamed of her condition and blame her for not being there. She wasn't there, she was there for others. Wedding photos aren't that important. Don't try and rewrite history to suit how you think things "should" have been for the photos.

Noodledoodledoo · 27/06/2015 22:54

It's dire as it looks really obvious - maybe as I know what was done but it sticks out like a sore thumb to me. One person was looking the wrong way in every group shot and so their head was replaced by a picture of them from another shot when they were looking!