To hate ex DP having 2 and 4 year old every other weekend?

[Aloneandtrying]

I lost respect for my DP after we had a child 4 years ago as he was so useless with her, I hoped he would be better with Dd2 and he was but still not great. However after dd2 I fell out of love with him, I had a c-section and he did nothing to help with either child while on paternity leave and refused to cook, clean, change a nappy etc. I tried for 2 years but I can't stand him as he does nothing with the children. I split from him 2 months ago, rent a little house by myself and am excited at the chance of one day finding love again. However I spend every other weekend in tears when the dc are with him as I know they are not happy. Oldest dd says they are hungry when with him as he won't wake up to give them breakfast, that he shouts at youngest dd all the time and makes her cry (she is two) that he makes 4 year old look after two year old so ex DP can sit and play computer games :( I know he would get back with me in a heart beat so I don't know if I should get back together so the dc don't have to go through this every other weekend and then leave him when they are self sufficient in getting there own food and have common since regarding plug sockets etc? (Two year old always try to play with plug sockets and I dread to think what will happen with the four year old looking after her). I really don't want to be in a relationship with him but I can't bare to put my little dds through this every weekend. What on earth can I do?

I was going to say that he probably doesn't want them for the whole weekend and that he wouldn't put up a fight. His mum, on the other hand, might butt in and say he should have them more. Just stick to the sunday plan and all will be fine. If his mum asks for more contact, just come up with an excuse time after time why it can't happen on that day and he will be just as relieved as you are for absolving him of the repsonsibility. You might find that even the Sunday thing turns into a once a month thing, and let it happen - you and the children will have a much easier time of it just letting contact naturally reduce.

There is nothing wrong with children eating curry. There is something wrong with making a two and four year old wait until 8pm to be offered a bit of vindaloo takeaway curry when they normally eat at 5pm and are in bed asleep by 7pm. They were tired and starving and given a dinner that they did not like.

Sorry if you thought i was getting at you Alone, but I wasn't I had this discussion with my in-laws many times "my kids are used to eating at 12, they are quite a bit hungry now at 2, when is dinner going to be ready?"

And round us the takaways are open all day so a takeaway of itself doesn't mean eating late.

That's ok. It's hard when people don't understand a two year old gets hungry isn't it :( my own mother does this she cooks meals at random times like 3pm when we visit so I end up feeding the dc a snack at 12 and then she moans :( I think it's because they are thinking of when they would like to eat rather then when would the children be hungry. Like my ex!!

Alone I felt sooooo sad when I read your posts - for your poor tots and for you. And then really happy at the outcome. Just wanted to say I hope it gets easier for you all.

Thank you so much