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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU of a massive overreaction...

72 replies

Misshatter · 27/06/2015 09:08

Long time lurker first time poster, could be long...
I very very rarely drink, due to a rather awful medication that I have to take. If I do decide to drink it is quite literally one drink.
I went out last night with a friend, been out just the two of us many many times with absolutely no problems. Last night however some of my friends friends were also out.
I had decided earlier on in the night that I fancied a drink, one drink and at about 11pm ordered myself one single vodka. After my one vodka I went back to drinking lemonade/water whenever I went to the bar.
My friend however decided that when going to the bar to purchase a round they would buy me a vodka anyway. The last thing that I remember is having a huge rant at my friend for spiking my drinks.
I really don't remember leaving the pub or getting home.
I've had a text message this morning about what a great night it was and just how funny I was, I'm absolutely livid and the more I think about it the angrier I get! I keep thinking that if my friends friends weren't out then they would never have spiked my drinks.
Aibu to think that you don't spike a persons drink, nevermind someone who isn't drinking for medical reasons!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 27/06/2015 09:10

How awful. You are not over reacting at all. Do your friends know that you are on medication?

AuntyMag10 · 27/06/2015 09:11

Are you certain that they actually did spike your drink?

keeptothewhiteline · 27/06/2015 09:17

What medication do you take?

Did you drink the second drink?

QuestioningStuff · 27/06/2015 09:21

So they gave you vodka and didn't tell you? And you didn't realise you were drinking vodka even though you hardly drink?

LazyLouLou · 27/06/2015 09:23

NU at all.

If your friend does know about your meds then you can text back with:

Text back "I am not fucking funny, I am fucking ill, as you well know."

Chillyegg · 27/06/2015 09:24

Yes id be fuming.

YANBU

NaiceNickname · 27/06/2015 09:30

Sorry but I hardly drink either and I'd definitely notice if there was vodka in my lemonade. You're saying you didn't notice at all? If you didn't, then they're no friends at all, especially if they are still laughing about it.

Topseyt · 27/06/2015 09:39

Had you actually said that you didn't want the second drink or was it purchased by mistake and in good faith?

If they knew you didn't want another vodka but went ahead and spiked it anyway then they are not friends, and are very silly.

NRomanoff · 27/06/2015 09:42

I am confused. Are you saying they bought you a vodka and you chose to drink it, or they put a vodka in your lemonade and you didn't notice?

FernGullysWoollyPully · 27/06/2015 09:43

I'd be very upset by this. It's a medical thing not because you're a stuffy bugger. I'd question the friendship. Friends don't make fun of eachother in this sort of way.

NRomanoff · 27/06/2015 09:45

And have they admitted the snuck a vodka into your drink?

SylvaniansAtEase · 27/06/2015 09:53

If you drank alcohol without realising because they spiked your drinks, and if they knew you can't drink more than one for medical reasons, then I would be very tempted to send them the following:

'Sorry for not replying earlier, I'm at A&E. I'm quite ill, which of course you knew would happen as you knew when you spiked my drinks that the reason I couldn't have more alcohol was because of my medication. I've had some quite difficult questions to answer here this morning when I've explained that my drinks were spiked, as you might not know, doing that is classed as assault. Hope you all slept well.'

OK, I probably wouldn't send that, but fucking hell I'd want to put the fear of god into them. You NEVER do that to someone, and if all they can say the following morning - when alcohol induced stupidity has worn off - is that you were 'funny' when they'd rendered you unable to stay safe and get home - then I'd seriously consider reporting them. And oh, naturally they wouldn't be my friends any more, because they aren't friends now.

What if you HAD ended up in hospital? Or hurt, or attacked? I'm really hoping they at least got you home.

Fucking idiots.

ASettlerOfCatan · 27/06/2015 09:54

If you had one drink it is not unreasonable for someone to assume and buy you another.

Surely you would taste the vodka? I certainly would then I would say "oh sorry I can only have one due to meds. Here you have this"

If they are friends of friends why would they have any clue you cant drink more than one?

I don't agree with spiking drinks at all but in this circumstance as they did all see you drink a vodka I don't think you can automatically shout spiked. Unless you asked for just lemonade/checked and they gave you vodka and lied I would assume an honest mistake.

I don't drink and I always check my drinks. Any whiff of booze and I won't touch it.

ethelb · 27/06/2015 10:02

As they did all see you drink the vodka you can hardly shout spiked

Talk about victim blamyConfused

nikinaki · 27/06/2015 10:03

I also agree there was obviously mixed messages. I would never spike someone, but at the same time, I would never go to the bar and buy everyone a drink EXCEPT you, because that would be mean. They obviously just thought you could drink as you did drink. I would definitely have noticed the vodka.

ghostspirit · 27/06/2015 10:05

i have heard you cant taste vodka if its mixed with another drink. is that not true?

op is there anyone from the group you could ask what happend?

i would go mad if that happend to me

AuntyMag10 · 27/06/2015 10:07

But if you knew your friend asked them to get you a vodka then why did you drink it or tell them at that point you aren't drinking?

nikinaki · 27/06/2015 10:08

ghostspirit I used to drink vodka when I was 17/18 as pre drinks etc .. but actually can't even touch the stuff now! I can taste it very strong even mixed with drinks

tabulahrasa · 27/06/2015 10:12

ghostspirit - you can taste it, well everyone I've ever met can... Maybe the OP can't, but it does taste of vodka.

Bunbaker · 27/06/2015 10:15

Unflavoured vodkas have no taste. I can't see the point in vodka myself, preferring a nice G & T.

It is quite possible that the OP couldn't taste the vodka, especially if it was drowned in lemonade.

I don't think she is victim blaming either. She just has some very irresponsible "friends".

pieceofpurplesky · 27/06/2015 10:17

If you have it with lime and lemonade you can't taste it.

LadyNym · 27/06/2015 10:19

I think clarification is needed as to what happened. Did they buy you vodka thinking you'd want it and let you know that's what it was? Or did they put vodka in lemonade and tell you it was just lemonade to deliberately trick you into drinking it? Do they know you're on medication and can't drink because of it? I'm a bit confused and can't assess who's BU without knowing exactly what happened.

sallysparrow157 · 27/06/2015 10:24

A single vodka in a reasonably big glass of lemonade will basically taste like lemonade.
' I would never go to the bar and buy everyone a drink EXCEPT you, because that would be mean I would never go to the bar and buy everyone a drink EXCEPT you, because that would be mean' - what's wrong with just buying a soft drink if that's what the person you're buying for wants? For whatever reason - they might be driving (many people would be happy to have one small drink early in the night if they're driving), on medication, have plans for the next day, whatever. Surely when people are buying a round they ask what everyone wants?
OP has also said it was her friend (not the friends of friends) who decided to buy her more alcohol. The friend she has been out with many times before who as such knows she doesn't usually drink, the same friend who sent her a text this morning saying how funny she was which suggests to me it was done for entertainment rather than a genuine mistake.
I would be very unimpressed at the friend and wouldn't feel all that comfortable going out with them again.
Bit surprised that some of you seem to think it wasn't a big deal or that it was the op's fault for not tasting a pretty much tasteless alcohol diluted in a sweet drink when she wasn't expecting it to be there

Bunbaker · 27/06/2015 10:27

"Bit surprised that some of you seem to think it wasn't a big deal or that it was the op's fault for not tasting a pretty much tasteless alcohol diluted in a sweet drink when she wasn't expecting it to be there"

This ^^

Jux · 27/06/2015 10:28

I would send Sylvanians' text. I don't care whether they saw me drink vodka once, when a round is bought you get the drinks you're asked to get.

Your friend is either stupid, nasty, or 12 years old.

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