AIBU to feel really sorry for the wife of the terror suspect in France?

[PacificDogwood]

My French is not up to much, but the poor woman sounds distraught and beside herself.

I have no idea what he thought he was up to, but my heart goes out to her.

Condolences to those who lost a love one today; in France and elsewhere.

alady so how do you define "these people"?

Fwiw I swa the neWs breaking on the French 24 Hours news channel within two hours of the events taking place. I think at that stage it behoves journalists to be a bit circumspect about the nature of the attack. It's not unknown, for instance, for far-right groups to plant material as a way of stirring up racial hatred. Not saying that's what happened here, btw, just that it's as well to wait for the facts to emerge before making our judgements.

Tbh I think that's highly unlikely dinah

This woman has been arrested so presumably the police have some concerns (as far as I remember the Charlie Hebdo brothers' families were never arrested). OTOH they also arrested another man on suspicion of being a lookout and he was quickly released as having nothing to do with it.

I thought that in civilized countries we presumed people innocent until proven otherwise, but I guess that she is one of "those people" so that doesn't apply here.

I took "these people" as referring to those who carry out/plan/support/fund IS terrorist attacks.

So do I mistigri but my point is more that 24 hour news makes us think we know what's going on within a matter of hours when realistically there's no way all the facts can have come out. I remember someone a few hours after 9/11 confidently telling me it was the Palestinians

I thought that in civilized countries we presumed people innocent until proven otherwise

Unfortunately lots of people make their mind up before trial and as the facts come out in the media. This happens outside of terrorist attacks too. I'm still curious as to where the racist remarks are in this thread

I wouldn't feel sorry for anyone closely associated with those violent animals - my heart goes out to the poor innocent victims & their families.

Thanks everyone who talked me down about the security services' radar. I know we are being saved from worse.

And yes who could forget the 'innocent' white widow!

I took "these people" as referring to those who carry out/plan/support/fund IS terrorist attacks

Any evidence the wife has done any of that? Other than, you know, she's presumably a Muslim and you know what these people are like?

Other than, you know, she's presumably a Muslim and you know what these people are like?

The poster you're replying to hasn't said anything anti muslim so why on earth do you say that?

I reserve my sympathies for the victims. If it turns out she was one too then she also has my sympathy. Distress, however, can easily be faked. I know people who have lied, pretended and done a fine job of it to such an extent their own children and spouses wouldn't know. This woman may have known or may not have, I don't feel any sympathy for her because she could be putting on a false front but equally I wouldn't condemn her- not until we know will my opinion form.

Until then, my sympathy is with the victims, the victims families and the emergency medical staff and those who have the horrific job of investigating the scene.

There was a thread about feeling sorry for the killer's family after the US church massacre.
Hardly anyone could summon up sympathy for his family, even though they were definitely not involved.
Most of us felt it important to concentrate on sympathy for the victims of that horrific attack, rather than the killer's family.

btw, it's a significant pointer when the family express unequivocal shame and condemnation, as in the US, instead of just being shocked and sorry for themselves and their killer relative.

OP, you don't actually appear to have a lot of knowledge on what you're commenting on. The Charlie Hebdo killers were brothers. The other ones girlfriend was aware of the attacks and slipped into Syria. So yes, their closest associates were quite aware.

Also, he appears to be totally open about the fact he did it. He has confessed, there are multiple eye witnesses. The idea that he's been fitted up by some right wing conspiracy is just ludicrous.

I think she knew. In that situation, if you were innocent you would be contacting the police and cooperating fully, not ringing up radio stations protesting your innocence. And what was glaring stark about what she said was that there was no expression of regret for the victim and the injured. Just concern for herself and her husband.

If she's done nothing wrong she will be released and have her children returned. But she has to be investigated and ruled out and her children can't be with her while that is happening. It would be illegal for children to be in police interviews for a start, not to mention frightening for the children with things inappropriate for children to hear being said.

The idea that he's been fitted up by some right wing conspiracy is just ludicrous.

Good thing that's not what I was arguing then. My point was the possibility couldn't be excluded in the first hours before all the witnesses had been interviewed etc yet people are judging this woman on the basis of rushed reports of a radio interview rhey haven't heard in a language they don't speak. The BBC wrongly reported a fire officer had killed a second assailant yesterday, apparently due to a mistranslation. His guilt is obviously pretty clear (though still subject to due legal process, barring insanity etc) but it's far too soon to have a clear idea of her involvement or otherwise yet.

I have heard it actually, I'm in France, it was all over the TV yesterday. I do understand the language, but regardless it has been translated by reputable news agencies and reported on. As soon as the news broke it was clear that he'd actually been caught red handed, confessed and that many people had seen him doing it. There will have to be a trial, but it was very clear, very soon that it was basically open and shut he's done it.

I don't know what you're trying to say? Do you think that the media should be hushed up?

Because apart from anything else, a lack of information in the area about what had happened and why would have caused even more fear in the local populace.

No, I don't feel a tiny bit sorry for her.

Well what's been reported in France is that a fireman actually stopped this guy. And that a second man was arrested nearby as he was reported to be acting suspiciously. But he has been discounted but released.

If my DH had been watch by security services for 10 years, I wouldn't go on the radio, telling everyone what a lovely, normal man he was, when he'd just been arrested for decapitating someone.

I don't have any sympathy for her.

Bakeoff, good point, poor judgement on her part, whatever her involvement.

I hear what you are all saying.
I suppose my gut reaction was coloured by the fact I have dealings with the family of a man (whom I don't know) who has been arrested for a violent rape. No idea whether or not he did what he is accused of doing, but his family are destroyed. No politics, no religion involved. IMO a violent crime can have more victims than the obvious ones. Again, I don't what/if she knew.

Families can sometimes know nothing about the radical views of other members, and appear in public to speak of their shock and horror.

But of course, it sometimes turns out that they are total liars, concealing their own support of radical groups and their own history of extremism for the purpose of garnering entirely undeserved sympathy.

who has been arrested for a violent rape. No idea whether or not he did what he is accused of doing, but his family are destroyed.

I suppose it's possible that there is a rapist somewhere who is a member of a rape club, who has meetings with other rapists, who downloads rape videos from youtube, who attends rape demonstrations, who campaigns for rape causes, who dresses in special rape clothes, who starts to enthusiastically attend a rape club and has other rapists around the house to discuss rape.

And in that case, the parallel with Islamist extremism would be valid.

No, of course there isn't a rape club (lets not get into what violent sex networks do exist though).
I am not talking about the suspect or his motivations.

But a woman is less likely know he husband is a rapist because of the type of crime. The accused in this case in not a lone gunman, although he may have committed this crime alone. Extremists tend to be quite easily spotted by people around them as its a way of life.

But yeah, what do I know, only spent half my childhood in Derry in the 80s and 90s. First hand experience of extremists and what happens in their communities, probably doesn't count for much.