Genuinely, I really don't know AIBU - group hols

[Gazebogirl]

Briefly, as I'm hard of thinking today:

10 of us (all women friends) are going away for the weekend. The accommodation is split into two houses, each with 2 x twin rooms and one double, so there's actually room for 12.

I'm organising it and it's a bit of a PITA tbh as monies come in drips and drops, but anyway we're getting there.

The total cost is for both houses for the entire weekend. Now two more women are interested in coming, but only for one night.

AIBU to say ok but you pay the same as everyone else? If we'd all decided to only go for one night we couldn't have gone. And there's much talk of kitties, group cooking, the shopping we will take etc, so two extras just seems to complicate things.

Id had my eye on one of the doubles seeing as I booked it, and if they come, I'll have to share for one night, just to accommodate them.

But then on the other hand there are technically spaces and it reduced everyone's outlay a little bit if they come. But how much should they pay???

AIBU to say pay the same as everyone else regardless of how long you stay? genuinrly can't decide!

Fishwithabicycle

"Weighting the cost for the double beds is easy. Instead of dividing the cost equally by 10, just say people who get a double bed alone pay a 20% supplement - then you just divide the full rental cost by 10.4 and that's the amount twin room sharers pay, it's not hard. But if you've got plans to be one of the lucky 2 yourself you'll damage friendships if you're cheapskate about paying a bit more for the additional comfort and luxury."

I feel like bloody cancelling. Really I do. A cheapskate? I'm still out of pocket because I paid the deposit up front and some people haven't coughed up yet. And as the rooms havent been allocated, it also means that someone else will have to pay an extra increment through no fault of their own as they don't have anyone to share with. God this is a nightmare.

Veteran of group holidays here. Just say no to the one-nighters. You have the perfect excuse that CP doesn't allow it. Say that and tell them that since it's your name on the booking you just can't do something that's against the rules. And if there's only two double beds, clearly as the organiser you get one. The organiser is entitled to a few modest perks for their trouble and given the bed arrangements this is the obvious one. I would suggest you pull a name out of a hat for whoever gets the other one, then it's just a random bonus for another person.

Redone the figures (again!) and I'll put extra into the kitty rather than reissue revised balances. If whoever gets the other room wants to chuck extra in thats up to them.

No, seriously, do it the way I said. It's better Perfectly reasonable to have a decent room given all the trouble you've gone to and no normal person would object. And allocating the other one randomly avoids the arguments about who should have it or should pay more.

Tendonqueen - "entitled to a few modest perks" Id agree but am surprised to find that not everyone might think that, and find it to be the actions of a cheapskate.

I don't think it's a reasonable view. And it's one easily countered by pointing out how much you were out of pocket and how long for at the start of the process. If your friends are (largely) reasonable, they will get this. Plus it is helpful to exercise a bit of organiser authority at times and say 'look, I've sorted all this out for everyone. So I've spent a lot of time thinking over possible ways of doing things and trust me, this is the best one". This applies to the one-nighters too. Just firmly tell them there's no part-sharing in the holiday as it's against the rules of CP and would mean all sorts of shuffling around that inconveniences everyone else. Then you have a better chance of enjoying it yourself

Fastdaytears that's awful! What did the organisers have to say about that? Sleeping on a sofa??? I haven't done that for twenty years! Id have exploded!

I would say no to the extras. There are 10 beds and 10 people. It's full. And as the organiser, it would be a cold day in hell before I shared a double bed having gone through all the stress of the booking. The other double bed is names out of a hat. Job done.

I agree with Socks - 10 beds, 10 people. The weekend is full up, sorry.

The organiser should always get the best bedroom. Always.

The other double bed should go (a) to a pregnant woman if only one of you is pg (b) if you have someone a lot older than the others going or (c(
Names out of a hat.

I would be happy for you to have your own room, given all of your efforts. It's not entitled. It's a perk of being the organiser.

You are entitled to that double bed - stop feeling guilty and just take it!

Having said that I had a fall out with a friend who did not contribute anything to organising a girls weekend and left all the work to me. Apparently I was supposed to just smile weakly and nod when she demanded the nicest room. I said no. She dropped out in a sulk, leaving me to either pay the cost of her share or ask everybody else for more money. Nice.

I've organised many group trips like this, normally between 10-30 people, often with people who don't know each other well. I sympathise... it can be a real hassle and frustrating at times. But by volunteering as organiser you CHOSE to take on this role and now have a responsibility to the group to sort out room issues in a way the group is happy with. I'd be tempted to just say no to the extra people to save hassle and upset.

Sorry but I don't think you're 'entitled' to single use of one of the double rooms just for being the organiser If the others suggest you take it as a perk, fair enough. But it looks grabby to announce it's exclusively yours for no additional cost and will create bad feeling (even though they will be too polite to say anything). Also don't assume others will save it for you if they arrive first! If you want to reserve it for yourself, email the rest of the group with your intention and offer to pay slightly more.
In all my years of organising these trips, I've never expected a room to myself or the best room as a 'perk'. But as organiser i'm normally the one to collect the keys, so I have more choice of rooms. I choose a room that suits me, but would never take the biggest or best room, I think that's bad form. On our trips, best rooms go to anyone who has more need of one, e.g. if someone is pregnant, has a young baby, or is significantly older. Or anyone with a special occasion to celebrate like a birthday or recent engagement.
If there were 2 rooms for single-occupancy and everyone had paid the same, I'd let the group know the situation and try to allocate rooms in advance based on need e.g. the single-occupancy rooms would be offered to people who didn't know anyone else on the trip, or anyone who had expressed a need for not sharing (insomnia, snoring problem etc). But I wouldn't try and charge different rates for different rooms that would cause chaos!! We normally book houses which have a mixture of ensuite/non-ensuite rooms, doubles, singles, twins, some rooms with 3 beds etc. We usually have a mixture of couples, friends, and a few people who don't know anyone else. Groups or families often ask to reserve the 3-bed rooms so I put signs on doors if people email me preferences in advance. It's too complicated to charge different rates so we split accommodation costs equally, make it clear to everyone what the sleeping arrangements consist of and what types of rooms are available before the trip. You need to be crystal-clear about room options so it's fair.

It's possible there may be close friends going on your trip who are happy to share a double bed. But there's no way you should invite extra people assuming this is the case! I'd be furious if I arrived on a group holiday and found I had to share a room with a stranger, let alone share a bed! Most people will have an idea who they plan to share with. As the organiser I recommend you avoid potential chaos by making sleeping-arrangements very clear prior to the trip, so people can decide who they want to share with and let you know. Then email the finalised list of 'pairs' to the rest of the group, match up people who aren't in pairs (check ok with sharing) and allocate the double-bed rooms based on need (or let people pay a bit extra to reserve them if no extra needs). And ASK if any pair are ok with a double bed. If they all want twin-bed rooms, don't even consider inviting the extra 2.

Good luck and I hope it all works out!

Ok, am taking all this on board. We're going to discuss all this over dinner at some point before we go. I think the two extras are a no go.

I was thinking of printing off what's in the CP's own grocery pack and seeing who wanted to bring what, so we had all the basics covered.
Someone suggested ording an Ocado shop the day before but then another person wanted to do an Aldi shop. If everyone agrees to just bring a couple of things then that's a start and we won't run out of bacon and dishwasher tablets.

I would always offer more for a single room. If I had organized the trip then I would hope others might suggest I have the single but I think it's rude to presume it.
I hate sharing.

Someone suggested ording an Ocado shop the day before but then another person wanted to do an Aldi shop

Oh dear! If there's going to be a disagreement over where to do the shop, you have problems!! You'll have Aldi woman refusing to put in her share to the food kitty if they buy from Ocado as she could have got it £X cheaper !

Oh god this reminds me of a nightmare Centre Parcs weekend with my NCT group. We had 2 villas and had been "allocated" to one of them. It turns out that the other villa had the queen bee with her crowd in it plus her nanny that she had brought to babysit. My villa has 3 other girls, all of whom decided to leave after one night, all for separate reasons and I was left carrying the cost for the prebooked babysitter which we couldn't cancel. I wasn't "allowed" to pop my 4 month old in with theirs...
They then decided to be vile about the girls that had left and I ended up saying I wasn't happy with this, to which I was told to "bugger off then"! I had to clean the villa by myself and leave child on her own to return the bike as no-one would help me out. To cap it all my car alarm had a fault and chose that moment to go off and lock me out of the car. I had to call the AA and wait for 2 hours with a tired and hungry child.
Good luck with your weekend, hope it was better than mine!

Feelingworriednow that sounds awful!!

I wouldn't allow the two late-comers to join the party either, not on if it is going to affect the others' sleeping arrangements.

Well done OP, I do this for smaller groups and it really can be quite tricky...

Shop at Tesco, that's sort of half way between Ocado and Aldi and they deliver pretty much everywhere unlike the other two! Well Aldi don't even deliver so forget them for a start.

Good luck!