Genuinely, I really don't know AIBU - group hols

[Gazebogirl]

Briefly, as I'm hard of thinking today:

10 of us (all women friends) are going away for the weekend. The accommodation is split into two houses, each with 2 x twin rooms and one double, so there's actually room for 12.

I'm organising it and it's a bit of a PITA tbh as monies come in drips and drops, but anyway we're getting there.

The total cost is for both houses for the entire weekend. Now two more women are interested in coming, but only for one night.

AIBU to say ok but you pay the same as everyone else? If we'd all decided to only go for one night we couldn't have gone. And there's much talk of kitties, group cooking, the shopping we will take etc, so two extras just seems to complicate things.

Id had my eye on one of the doubles seeing as I booked it, and if they come, I'll have to share for one night, just to accommodate them.

But then on the other hand there are technically spaces and it reduced everyone's outlay a little bit if they come. But how much should they pay???

AIBU to say pay the same as everyone else regardless of how long you stay? genuinrly can't decide!

See now you've said centerparcs I think you should make them pay the same as everyone else. It's just not the type of weekend away where you get to pick and choose the number of nights you get. Also I agree with Cath everyone else is paying for 3 nights even though they are only using 2. Just be honest say it complicates things too much cost wise if they only come for one night

I think the fact it's a centerparcs is relevant in that they don't physically offer one night stays, in fact you are all already taking a hit on staying only two nights rather than the minimum of three. It's therefore absolutely fair that the cost is split equally between all of you regardless of how long you individually stay.

I think that the late comers have left it too late to come. You're tying yourself in knots trying to fit them in and not upset anyone else and its taking the shine off the weekend for you.
Don't feel bad about it - there's not enough beds unless people share, no one else got the option of coming for a single night, you're finding it hard to work out what to charge them and the kitty is going to be way more complicated.
Just tell them that they would be very welcome to come next time but that its too late to change things this time.

I recently organised a spa break and it was a pita. Don't do it again!
I think I would be inclined to say that the cost of the accommodation needs to be split equally, two extras won't make that much of a difference financially and it might put them off so you get a double room.
If they don't like it they can organise their own break can't they?

I am an attendee to an event such as this in november to center parcs - 11 of us going I think....I wonder if this is our lovely organizer (hope we have not been too stressful coughihavealreadypaidcough)

nothing to add but I am sure you are doing a fab job!!

Charge them for one night, then put that money into the food kitty rather than rearranging the costs for everyone else.

Then they pay fairly, and everyone else should be happy to be getting free food.

I would make them pay the full share, otherwise other people might decide they don't want to stay for the two nights and need a reduction too.

So if everyone else is paying for three nights but only staying two it makes sense for the two newcomers to pay more than the cost of one night.

I think it would be easier to split it into 12 equal shares for the rooms but have the food kitty divided on a per day used basis.

I always like to have a room to myself if I'm away with friends but I always make sure I pay twice what my friends who are sharing. If you don't pay more for a single room then I think you should chip in with some extra booze or something.

I've organised and done this. Never again! Fucking nightmare trying to organise even a few people.

Personally I'd say it's too awkward to try and split things differently for different people staying different nights so if they want to come it's X (same as everyone else) or they can leave it until another time. We also didn't do kitties apart from all paying a couple of quid for stuff for a fried breakfast. Everyone brought their own food and drink and paid for the own stuff. I think there is far too much potential for it to go wrong when you all chuck money into a pot. There will always be someone who eats/drinks mor er less than others and will get annoyed about it. Everyone provides for themselves and be done with it.

Good luck OP. You may need it!

Have you thought of delegating the decision to the group?
The cost of the weekend is the cost no matter what. Does everyone vote that the cost is split evenly, or that the one nighters pay less?
Could be a nightmare but...I did a hen weekend like this recently. One hen had to duck out at the last minute on the second day but was fine to pay for both nights. One hen had kids and could only make one night and others were happy to chip in a bit extra to cover the "spare night" so she could come. One girl was broke but paid 2 nights and we did a food and booze kitty but told her not to pay for that so she got a bit of a discount- there was tonnes of food anyway. It depends on the group, but our lot were nice- similar mix of SAHM and independent big earners etc.
to be fair the "rich" ones were totally understanding that it was a struggle for the "low earners" and happy to chuck a bit more in but I guess it depends on the people involved.

That sounded like SAHM's have no cash- sorry. But in fairness the "no kids" had more cash to spend than the SAHM's and also were totally appreciative of that and wanted to contribute so everyone could come please don't flame me

I'm determined to keep things as simple as possible. Making a decision by delegation gets even more complicated because no one will want to be the one to say "no."

I don't think we all know each other well enough to identify each other openly from an economic comfort point of view so I think it all has to be as far as possible equal and even. Anyway, I'm just going to follow the crowd re the kitty/food but also make sure I take enough cash to do my own thing.
Everyone can book their own activities/treatments online, so hopefully no issues there either.

Those of you predicting riots and doom tell me your pitfalls and experience of what went wrong so we can avoid it!

Tiredbutfine I didn't read your post like that, don't worry!

Thatsnotmyusername no, you're not one of my ladies! Hope you have a great time!

I have a great friend who organises our weekends for 10 down to a tee. Re food/drink. We all discuss what we are going to eat, plan our meals. She arranges a tesco shop for all our needs and a "pick up" and brings it to our home for the weekend. We all split this equally. It covers, breakfast, lunch, a couple of evening meals, toilet paper, mags, nibbles, tea, coffee and drink! She also books our activities and any meals taken in restaurants. At the end of the weekend she adds up what we owe her. Even down to petrol. It's usually a lot cheaper than we think. But she loves organising these things. I've been on about 15 of these weekends in various parts of the country and we all just muck in with the chores. Some of us cook, clear, stack the dishwasher, it just seems to work. Best of luck & enjoy yourself!

Also as it's CP then if you book a spa treatment then you're allowed to use the rest of the facilities for the rest of the day - or you used to be anyway. So if someone can only join you for part of it, then you could suggest that they come along to the spa and then meet up during the day.

Worrying thought re the double beds - are people expected to share and most importantly if they are do they know ? If I was meant to be sharing a double, I'd expect to have a 50% reduction, or I'd happily pay extra to have my own bed even if it was a single. I'm not ancient but I'm too old to be bunking in with anyone but DH !

Madmother1 you could pimp your friend out with skills like that!

I would personally say that it's unfair to the people going 2 nights and split the cost equally, having just been totally tucked up in the same senario paying way over what the accommodation should have cost.

If it's a hotel room fine you can book it for a night but houses and cottages charge by the weekend and it makes it expensive for everyone else.

Yes to only chipping in for a days food.

The double beds thing. Well each house has two twin rooms and one double. So if 10 women go, that's 5 in each house, 4 in each of the single beds and 1 alone in the double. The rooms/beds haven't been worked out yet but I'll have a funny turn if there's an expectation that you pay something different depending on the bed you get.

Surely that's just too bloody complicated and petty to work out?

Ah in that case there are only beds for 10 people - unless anyone is particularly keen to share a bed, so definitely no to the extra ladies. too bad, so sad, feel free to book your own cabin this is where we are staying.

As you're the poor soul organising it all then I suggest you state categorically that you are having one of the doubles for all your pains and the other one could have lots drawn for it.

I've been on a few group weekends and usually the bedding situation works out ok unless it's really inequitable ( i.e. sharing a double bed ) some people like sharing as it gives them a chance to catch up with a friend in a one to one setting as well as the group one.

I always offer to chip in extra to cover my own room, as I'm a terrible sleeper, will be up half the night reading/watching something on my laptop and I don't think it's fair to keep others awake. I would be very unhappy if I suddenly found that not only was I expected to share a room, but also a bed with someone, and I actually wouldn't even come if that was the expectation. I think before you even start to entertain the suggestion of these extra women coming, that you need to work out who is getting the double beds and check that they are actually willing to share a bed with someone.

I agree with Midnight. I always pay a single person supplement or I don't go. Dreadful sleeper too - hence on gere at 5am!

*here

The people who get to be alone in a double bed should definitely pay more than the people who share a twin room.

But people who are only coming for one night don't unfortunately get to pay less - unless they recruit an additional person to come and use the bed on the night they aren't using it. But the cost is per person for the whole weekend, the rest of you shouldn't have your costs go up just because someone else can't leave work early enough on Friday.

Treat accommodation and food Costs separately. Food and drink divided pro rata according to how many mealtimes you were there for so the 1-nighters make a saving there.Weighting the cost for the double beds is easy. Instead of dividing the cost equally by 10, just say people who get a double bed alone pay a 20% supplement - then you just divide the full rental cost by 10.4 and that's the amount twin room sharers pay, it's not hard. But if you've got plans to be one of the lucky 2 yourself you'll damage friendships if you're cheapskate about paying a bit more for the additional comfort and luxury.

I wouldn't think I was the type to get wound up by this, but there was one particular weekend I can think of with a group who didn't know each other that well where 3 of us were sleeping on sofas and paying the same amount as people in lovely bedrooms (and by "the same amount" I mean loads). I think worked out because we got there last, but we got there last because we had a crazy journey not because we were lazy but anyway... Also we had people not wanting to pay to stay over but still spending all day eating and drinking without having paid anything. Had forgotten how annoyed we were until I read this. Oh and the organisers used the parking space (fine) and said there were alternatives, but the alternative meant us all moving our cars every 4 hours as we were right in the middle of a very car-unfriendly city. None of that applied to CP so you'll be fine. Probably!