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or is DH being daft?

81 replies

LadyDeGrump · 25/06/2015 20:34

DH has his driving test on Saturday. If all goes well, he wants to buy a car on Saturday afternoon. He wants to buy a new car.

He then wants to drive from London to Manchester the following weekend. By himself.

I think that a) a new car is absolutely ridiculous for a new driver and that b) a week after passing his test, even with a motorway lesson in between, it is neither clever nor safe to attempt the London to Manchester drive.

He says it is fine because he is 30 something and not the typical kind of 18 yo boy racer new driver.

If he passes his test, I am seriously thinking of confiscating his passport, licence, debit and credit cards to prevent him from going through with this potentially ruinous plan.

MN Jury am i being unreasonable, neurotic or sensible?

OP posts:

EatShitDerek · 25/06/2015 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theconstantvacuumer · 25/06/2015 20:37

Can he afford a new car AND the insurance? If so, I don't see the problem.

Driving from Manchester to London - motorway driving isn't as horrendous as driving through a city so I think he's not that unreasonable.


Haggisfish · 25/06/2015 20:37

Not sure really. Will you be with him? Motorway driving is actually the safest sort-you're all going the same direction! I did a massive drive the week after I passed and I was fine. Terrified but I made it. If he feels confident, let him.


WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 25/06/2015 20:39

He's an adult, he can do what he wants unfortunately!
Agree a new car is pretty ridiculous but if he's got the money and it doesn't impact you then there's not much you can do.
The test is designed so that anyone passing it is safe on the roads. I can't see any problem with a London/Manchester drive. I drove from Derbyshire to Surrey a couple of weeks after passing my test and j was 18!


keeptothewhiteline · 25/06/2015 20:39

Leave him to it.
He sounds like a new puppy let out to the park for the first time.
I assume he has other endearing features that compensate for his immaturity.
You can't confiscate his stuff.
If you can afford the new car ( and insurance) then I am not sure what you can fo.


WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 25/06/2015 20:41

Either he can drive or he can't. If he passes his test he can drive whatever and wherever he likes.
I hope thats a joke about confiscating all his shit, not very funny and weirdly controlling.


MelanieCheeks · 25/06/2015 20:41

Yabu. It's a big task certainly, but not unfeasible.


LaurieFairyCake · 25/06/2015 20:42

I can't see your problem at all Confused

Unless you haven't agreed to purchase a new car between the two of you?

I'd be most miffed (actually Id consider it abusive) if my husband had tried to confiscate my belongings and prevent me from driving once the government had decided I was legally safe on the roads.


CantBrainToday · 25/06/2015 20:42

Make sure you research costs including insurance and check you can afford it. I did a big drive soon after my test and was fine. I just stopped frequently. I would rather drive on a motorway than in London any day!


LadyDeGrump · 25/06/2015 20:43

I have no idea if he can afford the insurance - no idea how much it is for a 32 yo man new to driving! We could afford the car but not for him to smash it up within 6 mths iyswim.

He has lots of endearing features. He is usually so cautious and sensible this has come as a total surprise!

OP posts:

CainInThePunting · 25/06/2015 20:44

The only way you really learn to drive is through experience. The test just gives you the basics to be safe on the road.
If you can afford the new car and the ongoing costs involved and this is the only reason to object to the trip the following weekend then yes, you probably are being a little U.
He is probably just very excited so try not to p*ss on his chips.
Go with him and make it a mini-adventure!


WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 25/06/2015 20:44

Wow you don't have much faith in his driving abilities! I've been driving 12 years now and never had so much as a prang. Why would he smash it up in 6 months?


AliceScarlett · 25/06/2015 20:44

Yabu, he's an adult. I don't think he is making a wise decision, but you are not entitled to confiscate his stuff!


CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 25/06/2015 20:45

Not sure why a new car wouldn't be appropriate for a new driver, that implies he is going to crash it, and hopefully he never will, as he's passed his test and proved he is a competent driver. Better than an old banger that may have a host of problems he isn't used to dealing with.

Driving that distance may be tiring, but if he wants to do it you can't really stop him.


RandomMess · 25/06/2015 20:45

He is being ridiculous from a financial point of view - insurance will be ridiculously high!!!

Also he's obviously not aware of how much concentration driving for 3 hours on the motorway is - hope he has a practice or 2 on the M25 first...


RandomMess · 25/06/2015 20:46

A friend couldn't get her newly qualified dh insured on her people carrier!


LadyDeGrump · 25/06/2015 20:46

I have no intention of preventing him from driving.

And no I wouldnt actually confiscate his possessions to prevent his buying a car without my consent. But if he did, that would have a big impact on my finances, so I would be Cross. There would be Words. And very probably No Sex. And certainly no subbing him.

OP posts:

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 25/06/2015 20:48

If you have joint finances then you need to decide about car purchase and insurance together. Otherwise, its up to him.


LadyDeGrump · 25/06/2015 20:49

Coffee, my understanding is that you are most likely to have aserious crash in your first six months on the road. Thats why I object to his getting a new car immediately. If he wants to get one in a year thats fine. Of course, Im basing this on what I was told when I learnt to drive. It could easily be that his age reduces this kind of risk.

OP posts:

RJnomore · 25/06/2015 20:51

I passed my test at almost 30.

I have never had a smash except one tiny car park bump so I object to your idea of smashing it up in six months.

I drove Aberdeen to Ayrshire the weekend after I passed.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at this personally.


TheWintersmith · 25/06/2015 20:52

Agree with others, if he passes the test, and he is sensible about taking breaks then the drive would be fine. He will find it shockingly tiring and should plan accordingly.

He also ought to have a motorway lesson once he passes becaus theydont work quite like normal roads, so a lesson will make it amillion times easier.

The week I passed my motorbike CBT I bought a bike, then rode about 300miles round trip to another bike shop to buy a better helmet. And I wasn't allowed on motorways, so it was way harder.

Slept well that night tho.


CatsCantTwerk · 25/06/2015 20:56

YABU. I passed my test (age 28) and 2 days later I got the train to Newcastle to pick up my car. With no motorway experience at all I drove it back home 180 miles away.

Leave him be, he is an adult.


TheWintersmith · 25/06/2015 21:00

Coffee, my understanding is that you are most likely to have aserious crash in your first six months on the road. Thats why I object to his getting a new car immediately. If he wants to get one in a year thats fine

You are confusing correlation and causation

Yes he will be inexperienced, so the first 6 months of DRIVING will be the riskiest. If he buys a car now, yes he needs to be careful as his experience builds.

The worst thing he could do is pass then not drive for 6 months, then just buy a car as all the lessons and training he has had will be fading, his skills will have faded considerably. ( the peak time for motorbike fatalities is spring, when all the bikers who took their bikes off the road for the 6months of winter get back out, this skills have faded in those 6 months but they recall their last rides of the previous year, at their peak so overreach and crash)

The best thing he can do is get a car while the training is fresh and keep those skills sharp.


LadyDeGrump · 25/06/2015 21:02

Thabks Wintersmith.

Wasnt saying he shouldnt drive for a year, but that if his risk of crashing is higher, id rather he did it in a two grand car than a 12 grand one.

OP posts:

Cumbrae · 25/06/2015 21:06

Erm, a more expensive car is likely to be safer to crash in.

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