Am I being unreasonable to think that the Government's policy to make mums go back to work is misguided?

[mountaingoat]

Just interested in what mumsnetters think about this one. I've been a working mum and a SAHM so I have no axe to grind either way. It just strikes me that:
if mums want/ need to go back to work then they should be given every opportunity to do so. But, why should it be a policy that mums must go back to work? Why is it better for mums to go back to work? Surely it is just a matter of choice?
I would guess that Messrs Cameron and Osborne have (a) rarely spent a day looking after babies and pre-school age children and certainly not for months or years on end 24/7 - and actually have no idea what is involved; and (b) their experience of childcare for their own children is probably highly paid and qualified nannies or very smart nurseries. My kids have all been through nursery and there are wonderful nurseries out there. but there are also nurseries which are mediocre, and if there is a quick, ill thought out expansion of childcare provision, there will be more mediocre nurseries out there for sure. Why is it better for a mum of pre-school age children to leave them in a nursery with a crowd of other toddlers being looked after by a teenager with an NVQ2 in childcare, than to stay at home and look after her own children until they do go to school?
I don't want this to turn into a wm v sahm thread (yawn)
also, I'm talking about situations where one parent is working to pay for the family and the other parent is staying at home to do the childcare. Not talking about families where no-one is working and they are expecting to stay at home with the kids and for the state to fund it (think these people mainly exist only in the minds of Daily MAil journalists anyway)

[ihategeorgeosborne]

I agree that childcare for school age children in the holidays is crippling. My youngest starts school in September and I am thinking that I'd like to go back to work and engage my brain again, but those costs scared me. Even if dh and I used all our annual leave separately, we would only cover half the holidays roughly. That doesn't include inset days and sickness. Plus I'll have one at senior school in September, with different inset days. It sounds stressful and expensive. Perhaps I'll stay a SAHM after all and just have hobbies!

[Basketofchocolate]

There was talk of spreading the holidays around the year so the summer one wasn't so long but not seen anything about that lately. I do think that it is good for kids to be with family in the younger years (but appreciate not always possible) but for those people relying on nurseries, it's a different ball game once they are at school. Not all schools offer 'wrap around care' and there are a lot of random days off (and early finishes!). I had to take two days off in last job unpaid as the school kept being used as a polling station and was shut. We're not in the same voting area so wasn't prepared and although had carefully planned annual leave between us (including working evenings and weekends) to make up hours (thankfully two very understanding companies) we had scheduled ourselves up to the last day and were thrown by 'school closed for polling next week' letters'. Without understanding employers (and yes, I do appreciate how hard and expensive it can be to run a business that allows that kind of working) school is really hard to work around.

Ironically, the private school near us where the joint incomes must be fairly substantial do offer the wrap around care and have their school plays and sports days on Saturdays as is only way the parents could attend. Not saying I want that for DC's school, but interesting that school is helpful to families where (majority) both parents work, but lower down the scale, in the average primary, it's hard to fit work around school.

I still think that more public sector jobs should be made more family friendly. I know many are, but it would be a good way for the Govt to show a strong example.

I say we form a Mumsnet political party tomorrow :)

[lem73]

So sorry to hear about your husband Ptolemy.

[LogonMounstuart]

Lots of 2 person couples don't have a choice- they both need to work to afford to raise their family.

I can't see how a lone parent is being forced to work. If they can afford to raise their family without working then they don't have too. Surely they are only forced to work if they are claiming some form of state assistance?

[pollyisnotputtingthekettleon]

Logon - thats the point really. I suppose now they are capping benefits there isnt the option to keep having babies to stay off work. Im really annoyed at couples who dont live together and yet have baby after baby .. because they are better off if mom is seen to live alone. That I think is the difference between choosing to be a single mom and actually being one. Its the single moms who should be up in arms about those ...

[LotusLight]

It is certainly difficult when you both work full time. We had one daily nanny (I don;t think she really had any qualifications (may be one childcare GCSE or NVQ) and she was young but she was perfectly good (domestically very messy - we cleaned up after her every night) and she stayed 10 years. That is definitely cheaper than 3 nursery places (we had 3 under 4 and worked full time) and nicer for the child as they are in their own home.

When the oldest was nearly 3 she went to a morning nursery school - no subsidy for that in those days of any kind. When the youngest went to full time school our nanny went more part time hours in the week - she had 1 and then 2 babies of her own and brought them to work too (one reason she stayed 10 years) and obviously covered school holidays of the older children.

Then when she left and when all 3 were at full time school it gets harder as people have said. We paid school fees and the school coaches even for the 5 year old left at about 7.45am so I'd take that older one 2 stops on the tube to the school coach stop, get her on the school coach and then get back on the tube to London to work.

In our first year the cost of child care was 50% of each of our net salaries (we earned the same then)! But as we have both worked full time for the 30 years since without any breaks it was worth it - an investment in careers. No tax credits ever. no maternity pay rights actually either for me due to fairly bad luck although I suspect that's one reason I earn a lot now as the state was not incentivising me to go part time or take a year off when I had a baby.

Later we hired an Australian (she did not live in) who did cleaning in the morning and then school collection and also did 4 hours at weekends driving the children to various parties - they were at that phase under 10.

Another option we used was before and after school club at school with the later children. Another was using the older siblings to help as needed - one of the nice things about large families. Another was advertising in the local paper for someone to work 3 - 6pm each day ( we had huge numbers of replies) and if possible some extra hours in holidays.
At age 9 one took a train to Yorkshire on her own to stay with grandparents when she had an extra week half term no one else had.

It remains difficult and expensive for men and women to find childcare (this has always been a men's issue even 50 and 30 years ago in equal marriages - the only sort decent women should tolerate!).

[tobysmum77]

re 10k earner if it is going to make the family worse off to go to work then it is a massive barrier particularly if they can't afford to be worse off and there are also costs involved in working. All this split expense stuff is a mn phenomenon ime. A lot of people/ women are in reality kept out of the workplace by this.

That said I don't find holiday childcare as expensive as people on here, round here it starts at £65 for a whole week but obviously we are lucky there..... In comparison to 48 per day for nursery it seems quite reasonable.

[32percentcharged]

School holiday care seems expensive if you didn't work when your children were pre school. For those used to paying pre school childcare it seems unbelievably cheap. After paying nursery fees x 2 for 51 weeks a year (no discount for when we were on leave- it was full price every day the nursery opened) believe me, the childcare bills once they start school seems a doddle in Comparison