Am I being unreasonable to think that the Government's policy to make mums go back to work is misguided?

[mountaingoat]

Just interested in what mumsnetters think about this one. I've been a working mum and a SAHM so I have no axe to grind either way. It just strikes me that:
if mums want/ need to go back to work then they should be given every opportunity to do so. But, why should it be a policy that mums must go back to work? Why is it better for mums to go back to work? Surely it is just a matter of choice?
I would guess that Messrs Cameron and Osborne have (a) rarely spent a day looking after babies and pre-school age children and certainly not for months or years on end 24/7 - and actually have no idea what is involved; and (b) their experience of childcare for their own children is probably highly paid and qualified nannies or very smart nurseries. My kids have all been through nursery and there are wonderful nurseries out there. but there are also nurseries which are mediocre, and if there is a quick, ill thought out expansion of childcare provision, there will be more mediocre nurseries out there for sure. Why is it better for a mum of pre-school age children to leave them in a nursery with a crowd of other toddlers being looked after by a teenager with an NVQ2 in childcare, than to stay at home and look after her own children until they do go to school?
I don't want this to turn into a wm v sahm thread (yawn)
also, I'm talking about situations where one parent is working to pay for the family and the other parent is staying at home to do the childcare. Not talking about families where no-one is working and they are expecting to stay at home with the kids and for the state to fund it (think these people mainly exist only in the minds of Daily MAil journalists anyway)

[32percentcharged]

i also disagree that women are 'forced back too soon'... Maternty rights in the UK are actually very good with up to a year off work. I do agree that formal education starts too early and I would like to see more play based learning til a slightly older age. But that's a separate issue really.

As for the fact that some children as individuals aren't suited to nursery.. Well, a childminder provides 'family based' childcare if that's what you prefer. No one is forced to send their child to nursery- or indeed to school!

[MrsNextDoor]

Bath officially it is 5....and at 5 if a woman ....we'll imagine it's a female lone parent for now...if she can't find the right job then they can sanction her...take her benefits away....even though she has children and with the governements record of sanctions for people who have done nothing wrong, it bodes badly.

Now that free childcare is in place they will (I am sure) begin sanctioning the parents of 2 year olds.

[MrsNextDoor]

www.gingerbread.org.uk/news/251/income-support-sanctions-risk

Gingerbread article from last year. Speaks about sanctions for parents of young dc (lone parents)

[AuntieStella]

Women should have the choice whether to work or not.

But whether they are mothers or not, the government shouldn't fund that when it is a choice.

Being a 'mum' shouldn't bring extra privileges to women, nor should male parents be excluded from the debate. Well, not if you want society to be less pigeon-holed.

If this is about the EY grant, then the 15 hours continues as at present with 15 hours for every child. No-one will be getting less than they had before.

(still find references to the Cameron family tasteless. Top flight nannies? Well, that's one way of looking at specialist respite care)

[tobysmum77]

I think single parents should work and the ones I know all do. Your child so your responsibility to support.

[meglet]

logon I'm not sure I contributed to the economy much as a working lone parent with 2 dc's at nursery? for 3/4 yrs I was earning less than the childcare fees and receiving almost £800 a month in childcare tax credits. I still don't earn enough to pay tax now they're at school.

I'm not happy with forcing lp's back to work either. There aren't enough flexible jobs out there.

[fedupbutfine]

Ah yes, 'working families' where 'work pays' are absolutely decent, hardworking people who have a right to claim Tax Credits and Housing Benefit and anything else whilst one parents stays at home. Lone parents are 'benefit scroungers', even when that lone parent is working full time and earning the same as their neighbour's partner whilst the other half stays home. Both households receiving the same help. One is to be applauded, the other is nothing other than a drain on the state.

[MrsNextDoor]

Toby so single parents shouldn't have the right to be a SAHM for a few years? Like other parents do?

[GoodbyeToAllOfThat]

What an interesting choice of words, OP.

"Lone parents will be forced back into work!". Well, yes. If you choose to have a child without a partner, it's going to be pretty tough to be a SAHM indefinitely unless you've made provisions for the duration.

[tobysmum77]

says who fedup?

how do people even know who claims tax credits?

[MrsNextDoor]

Goodbye what tosh! Of all the lone parents I know not ONE has "chosen" to have a child alone!! They were all...ALL left by their husbands!!

[GoodbyeToAllOfThat]

Toby so single parents shouldn't have the right to be a SAHM for a few years? Like other parents do?

Which "right" for partnered parents to stay at home are you referring to?

[tobysmum77]

next door most people unless they are wealthy need to work to support themselves and their children . No one has a right to be a sahp if they cant afford it, lone or dual parent.

[meglet]

toby but you aren't a lone parent?

[llammallamamissesmama]

Sorry OP, I'm going to jump in here and reply to someone saying that nursery/childcare settings help children to socialise.

Yes this is absolutely true of 4 year olds or even 3 year olds but 2 year olds? Well maybe. Toddlers of 18 months? Hmm. 1 year olds? Nope. 8 month old babies? Definitely not.

I think that this is the driving force of the argument, WHEN do parents go back to work? I strongly believe all of the nurture theory (John Bowlby) and I think children where possible should have time with a primary caregiver while they are very young. I think there is plenty of time for more formalised settings and education. I know, for various reasons, that this isn't possible but where I live virtually every single mum I know works.

I think it's a tough situation. More childcare hours is a good thing for those wanting and needing to get back to work. But how do you balance that wih promoting strong family values?

[insancerre]

In theory I agree with the principle that everyone should work to support themselves and their family
In practice, though its not easy to do that on a zero hours minimum wage contract, especially if you have childcare costs to pay.
Poverty among children is at an extremely high level and all the work to eradicate child poverty by 2020 has been asked undone
Its s sad state of affairs when the poor and the vulnerable are bearing the brunt of the austerity cuts

[MrsNextDoor]

Goodbye many families choose one parent to stay at home...with their child. How are lone parents to have that choice?

Also free term time care is great but what about school holidays? Will there be free childcare for then?

[tobysmum77]

meglet what does that have to do with anything?

[BathtimeFunkster]

Well, yes. If you choose to have a child without a partner

Ah OK, so you just mean the very tiny number of women who choose to have a child alone using donated sperm.

I wouldn't have thought they constituted a large enough group to base policy on.

We'll obviously need different policies for the far, far larger group of women who end up as single parents without having chosen it.

[llammallamamissesmama]

Can I just add to my last post -

I know this is a really contentious issue. Already we have people debating SAH/WAH, tax credits/benefit cheats, lone parents by choice or those who haven't chosen to be single.

It's such a personal issue so everyone will feel strongly about different aspects of it. I think it's sad to see folk griping and taking swipes at each other when surely we are all just doing what we need to to care for and provide for our children as best we can.

[meglet]

I was wondering if you had personally experienced the constant pressures, illness, exhaustion, worry, isolation and lack of support that being a working lone parent brings?

[MrsNextDoor]

I think Meglet some people live in a fug of security...where the issues faced by lone parents are not in their ken. They don't know about any of it and so they see black and white.

[conniedescending]

We all have the choice whether to work or not....Dads too! But if you're going to rely on benefits to do this then you have to cut your cloth and accept cuts and changes will and do happen.

Any policy that incentivises work has got to be a benefit to society as a whole. I would have thought lone parents would actually be the most driven to work and maintain economic independence to support their children. Yes, getting childcare is difficult and costly but long term everyone benefits from parents that stay employed/ employable.

[tobysmum77]

Life isn't easy meglet in many ways for all of us, yes it isnt an easy situation agreed. Having lone parents out of the workforce for years lowering their earning potential won't make life easier in the long term either though. Its not clear cut.

[JassyRadlett]

Jassy it does make a difference to lone parents for the reasons I outlined.

MrsNext, I haven't seen anything linking the changes in funded hours to changes for lone hours but I may have missed it - can you provide links to the changes? I'd like to understand better.

But saying that all women in 2-parent households have a choice whether to work or not is also false.