AIBU?
LazyLouLou · 23/06/2015 17:54
They're just short handed ways of discussing odd behaviour.
Sometimes you just don't gel with a group/person. If you are an uber polite, people pleaser then you are always going to be surprised/hurt by the actions of those who are not.
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it happens so much it can ostracize you from a group because you have overthought it or don't have the brass neck to just breeze back in.
If you can just brush it off as the dynamics of friendship then you are one of those people who aren't caught on the hop and occasionally floored by the changes. Good for you.
But to casually dismiss those who are more frail socially as being the problem is not nice.... maybe you Wendy people without realising. I am sure most Wendy's don't.
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/06/2015 18:01
I wish I was one of those lucky people who could swan up, wearing whatever I like, acting however I like and every little action of mine would be interpreted as saintly because I possess a magical 'penis'. That means that just the act of holding a child's hand and behaving normally would convey an aura of love and kindness to all.
Using women's names to describe nasty behaviour seems misogynist to me. The women at my 'school gates' are a mixture of personality types, just like people everywhere.
msgrinch · 23/06/2015 18:02
I stood at the school gate today and a woman moved her dog away whilst muttering "no dog you may catch something", then whispered to her friend that I'm "the friend of Wendy's ex husbands new girlfriend and must be a slag like her".
Some women need to grow up and keep their gossip away from the school. My ds is friends with her ds, why be such a bitch.
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/06/2015 18:11
So what do you call a nasty, unfriendly man? Still a Wendy or do those men not exist? You might call him a cunt (oops, gendered), a bit bitchy (there I go again). Gendered terms for nasty shit implies all the people that do it are women (or gay men for some bizarre reason).
No misandry here. I don't blame individual men for the patriarchy. DH tells me that when he takes DD in he gets treated differently to me/the Mums. I get told about behaviour, reading, speech, issues, he got told last time that "DD is very special...". And that men get off very lightly in terms of how much they are expected to do versus the women.
lastuseraccount123 · 23/06/2015 18:16
I don't like this thread. It seems mean spirited.
SOME women (not all) are difficult at school. In my experience it was a core group of SAHMs who were spreading nasty stuff about my family and child.
IMO there's a whole host of reasons for this. The primal bond between mother and child - emotions tend to be heightened. Some mothers are bored and are looking for drama. Etc.
Did it effect me? Not really. I work and I chose to avoid the drama. The one confrontation we did have I did not engage with her, and she got nowhere. I knew about what was said though and I have no issue empathising with those women who've had to deal with bitchwallops like that. Not everyone can blow it off.
whothehellknows · 23/06/2015 18:20
But a "Wendy" isn't a nasty, unpleasant person. The term originated from an MN post about a woman (nicknamed Wendy for the thread) who made friends with the OP and joined her social circle and then subsequently seemed to exclude the OP from events with her friends.
Hygge · 23/06/2015 18:26
Wendy comes from the Judy Blume book Blubber.
Helen is from the film Bridesmaids.
A Wendy alienates a person from their friendship group by turning people against that person.
A Helen uses one-upmanship to try and be the best friend of someone, but again alienating someone else in the process.
It's a shorthand way of explaining that kind of behaviour when you encounter it. And I suppose they've come into use on here because lots of people remember the book and have watched the film.
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