Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

About school trip photos?

78 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 11:04

Ds and 2/3 of his class are away for a few days on a school trip.
Transfer to big school trip, kids not going to the local comp don't get to go.
Class bully/idiot is one of the ones who has gone with them.

School are putting a few pix up on their website, which is nice for us parents to see what they are all up to.

I will call the bully child 'Albert', to give him a bit of privacy...

This is the 4th time the class have been away. They have been once a year, all through juniors.

This is the first time Albert has managed to stay away from home overnight without his mum having to collect him at lunchtime on the day of arriving.

3/4 of the photos are of flaming Albert!
I appreciate he has finally managed to stay overnight (as the rest of the class managed at 7ffs... He is 11 now!)

But there are about 20 kids there, and we would like to see all of them enjoying themselves. Not just ds, we know most of these kids. Have done for years.

The pictures are some group pix (yes, obviously, they should contain Albert...)
But mostly single child or two/three kids working together.

First world problem, I know. But I am sick of his sneery face on nearly all the pix. Agghhh.

OP posts:

reni1 · 23/06/2015 13:25

Please don't complain to the school, even as a group of 8 parents. They will just stop putting a any pictures up, it is hard to catch everybody. How lovely they do it at all. Some children push more to be in pictures, we had times when ours was in all the time as well as times when you couldn't tell they were there. Albert wasn't there the previous years so maybe they want to make up for it.

haveabreakhaveakitkat · 23/06/2015 13:29

My dd had her leavers assembly last year. There was a slideshow at the end and out of maybe 50 photos dd was only in one and she was scowling! Other kids featured over and over. It upset me briefly until I remembered dd had been going through a very camera shy phase thowing a hissy fit if someone produced a camera .

Noodledoodledoo · 23/06/2015 13:29

Well I am going to go against the grain here. I do think they need to 'edit' the photos to ensure there is an even mix of children in them.

I am a teacher and would make sure this happened - even if it means putting up less photos - discreetly sending some to Albert's mum may be more appropriate if she needs more reassurance or put loads up of everyone.

Also I do run residential trips and have done for 20 years of ages 7-18 year olds (not necessarily all ages at the same time) and I have NEVER been kept up till 2am with them getting up at 5am - I am the evil one who doesn't allow it. Various tactics but it doesn't take much.

MrsCampbellBlack · 23/06/2015 13:37

Is Albert very photogenic [misses the point]

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/06/2015 13:40

MrsCampbell Apparently he sneers and it gets Op's back up.

miaowmiaowhiss · 23/06/2015 14:06

Albert-blog has tickled me immensely. Why is that phrase so funny?!

Oobis · 23/06/2015 14:14

I would take it that this kid is being closely supervised....I hope your DS is having fun!

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:22

You want to get a grip of your resentment of a child. It's pretty ugly

I wonder if any of the posters saying "hes only a child" etc have experienced the type of bullying my DS got from an 11 year old child. Sick of the the "hes only a child, hes overcoming his problems" sympathy for bullies, when your DS has been battered and demoralised physically and emotionally as much as mine did, and even better it was our next door neighbour so eventually we had to move I have zero sympathy for bullies, no matter what their problems are.

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:23

But thats just MN all over at times, its all about the bullies, victims are just left to get on with it.

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:28

googoodolly if your marriage nearly broke up with the stress, if you and your family were constantly verbally abused by an 11 year old child, if your DH was constantly called a "paedophile", if your DS was assualted on a daily basis, 2 of which resulted in Police charges, if your DS turned into a recluse, if you regularly had eggs chucked at your house, if your car was vandalised, if your DS was called nasty disgusting names every time he left the house...well I could go on but you get the idea....well I would really doubt you would say to yourself "ah well, hes having problems, needs support".

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/06/2015 14:31

To be honest, the op's main problem seemed to be about pictures of a 'sneering' kid and not really anything to do with the bullying aspect. There was also the nasty and disrespectful way she spoke about him suffering from separation anxiety. Then (for me anyway) her implying she would gloat if my son was bullied because I said she had a nasty attitude. She seems like a piece of work. People have fixated on that and the bullying has become a minor aspect. Largely due to the OP.

DeeWe · 23/06/2015 14:32

I doubt it's anything to do with wanting to reassure Albert's mum. Simply that the person with the camera happens to be in charge of Albert's group.

Having had 3dc going on trips for years they're either in hundreds of photos or if they're lucky the entire group photo at the end. At least I can just about guess that's their arm at the edge because I know which colour t-shirt they were wearing.

I found that even if each group leader takes a camera (and it tends to be the teachers only, so you do get disproportional numbers often of the livelier ones for that reason) then some use the camera more than others.

The only time I did get irritated by this was year 6 leavers disco. They had 3 parent photographers who took about 500 photos over the evening. We counted up afterwards one of the parents had spent the entire time taking photos of his dd. So we had on the CD of photos over 300 photos of his dd : dd with person A, slightly different position with person A, with person A and B (with his dd in the middle), same photo from behind with them looking over their shoulders, dd with person B.... There were 150 in the year, quite a number of children were only in the full photo... he'd even managed to arrange the full photo with his dd in the centre.

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/06/2015 14:33

With all due respect Crystal that was your situation, which is why you probably agree with op. She has said nothing remotely similar to your situation.

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:34

Probably Twinkie, although I would probably feel the same about the "sneering" as I can still see my DSs bullies sneering face as he spouted out the bile he used to. But yes youre right about the separation anxiety bit.

LaurieMarlow · 23/06/2015 14:36

'Sneery face' is very negative language to use about a child OP. Have a think about why you feel like that. Your reaction seems rather out of proportion.

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:36

I know it was my situation Twinkie, its the "hes just a child" thing that got to me because thats whats usually trotted out, forgetting most of the time that the victim is a child to. My point is I would really doubt anyone whos child was bullied the way my DS was and had the effect on the whole family that we did would ever say "oh but hes just a child."

MonstrousRatbag · 23/06/2015 14:38

Well, let the pictures reassure you that Albert is improving, is under close supervision and therefore, probably hasn't bullied anyone.

Which may be why he features so largely: to reassure his own parents; and as a stealth way of telling the other parents, who aren't worried about their own children (except in relation to Albert), that Albert has been safely contained.

Win win.

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:39

Cant speak for the OP Laurie as I dont know her situation but that's a word I would use exactly to describe my DS bully face when he had him on the ground and was battering his head on the road spitting out spit and saying "I hope your cancer comes back and you die".

duplodon · 23/06/2015 14:40

It would annoy me if it were to do with adult cliqueishness/PTA suck arsery but this sounds like an attempt to be as positive and celebratory of a difficult, troubled kid as they can be. Totally different, and it's weird to be jealous of a kid who is so obviously having a hard time in his life.

RedToothBrush · 23/06/2015 14:41

If the problem child is the one constantly in pictures then you'd assume that the problem child was therefore constantly being monitored. Therefore the problem child couldn't get up to bad behaviour and bully the others.

And the OP has proof of this from the photos

But still has the nerve to moan.

Some people wouldn't be happy no matter how much people go out of their way to do something nice

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/06/2015 14:41

Oh I understand that and what your family went through is awful. It was harrassment. The situations are not comparable though, particularly since the bullying doesn't actually seem to be Op's problem. People were trying to get across to her that her sneery attitude towards the boy is uncalled for because from what else she has described, it sounds like he might have problems. He doesn't sound like a child waging a campaign of terror on his classmates, he sounds like a child who needs help.

redexpat · 23/06/2015 14:43

Im going against the grain. YANBU. DShas been at nursery since october. Last week there was a picture where he could be clearly seen. That is the first time.

When i worked at summer camp if we had the camp camera we had to make sure we got lots of kids, not just the same ones. Its not that difficult.

Iamfrankieheck · 23/06/2015 14:48

Seriously? If this is your only problem, count yourself lucky love

CrystalCove · 23/06/2015 14:49

Maybe I read it wrong then because I thought the reason the OP was so het up was because of the bullying.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 23/06/2015 14:58

So at least 8 other sets of parents feel the same about Albert as the OP....yet it's Albert who is the bully....
Chinny reckon time I'd say.

Flip

1 2 3 4