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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About school trip photos?

78 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 11:04

Ds and 2/3 of his class are away for a few days on a school trip.
Transfer to big school trip, kids not going to the local comp don't get to go.
Class bully/idiot is one of the ones who has gone with them.

School are putting a few pix up on their website, which is nice for us parents to see what they are all up to.

I will call the bully child 'Albert', to give him a bit of privacy...

This is the 4th time the class have been away. They have been once a year, all through juniors.

This is the first time Albert has managed to stay away from home overnight without his mum having to collect him at lunchtime on the day of arriving.

3/4 of the photos are of flaming Albert!
I appreciate he has finally managed to stay overnight (as the rest of the class managed at 7ffs... He is 11 now!)

But there are about 20 kids there, and we would like to see all of them enjoying themselves. Not just ds, we know most of these kids. Have done for years.

The pictures are some group pix (yes, obviously, they should contain Albert...)
But mostly single child or two/three kids working together.

First world problem, I know. But I am sick of his sneery face on nearly all the pix. Agghhh.

OP posts:
haveabreakhaveakitkat · 23/06/2015 12:05

Has this child bullied or is bullying your child? I'm confused.

tabulahrasa · 23/06/2015 12:09

"The member of staff with the camera/in charge of taking pics is also the one supervising Albert/his d group."

That's what I was just about to say...they don't take photos of each child to reassure parents, they're just taking photos of their trip and if one child is in lots of photos it just means that the member of staff taking photos is responsible for that child.

MidniteScribbler · 23/06/2015 12:15

I wonder why teachers even bother when you read bullshit like this.

Shapebandit · 23/06/2015 12:16

I'm a cubs leader and take photos of our trips for parents. Often my photos focus on one or two children as those are the children in my group at the time.
I doubt very much that Albert is getting any special treatment. He is simply nearest to the adult who is taking photos

Tangerineandturquoise · 23/06/2015 12:17

Honestly it sounds like Albert may have had a rough ride- if he is missing school-needing to be picked up, struggling to interact with the other children, so without further information I would say YABU.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 12:19

Albert has bullied 90% of the kids in the class, including my ds.

I understand that out of 20 pix, there won't be one each of the 20 kids.
But 17 of Albert and 3 of other kids seems out of balance?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 12:22

Tabula,
Our school staff re not superving any of our kids during the day. It is time for them to be with their new teacher from the next school.
Our teacher is there for all of them, not one small group, otherwise I would agree.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 12:27

Tangerine, yes he has.
Some of his bullying is down to frustration.
I think his parents wanted to hold him back a year, as he would have managed more of the work, and had new classmates without the memories of his behaviour. But that was against the lea policy.

But we ( group of 8 parents, not only me), think the school are a bit not quite right in giving lots of pix of the kid who has upset most of the others. Just to prove Albert is having fun. Or maybe he is constantly angry? Hence the sneer? We know he can smile!

Still as people have said, there are 2 more days for more pix.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 23/06/2015 12:28

"Our teacher is there for all of them, not one small group, otherwise I would agree."

They absolutely would be sticking with the group who contained a child with the issues you've mentioned, whether they're there officially to do so or not.

Goldmandra · 23/06/2015 12:31

he has finally managed to stay overnight (as the rest of the class managed at 7ffs... He is 11 now!)

Why was that comment even necessary? There are plenty of children who have issues with staying away from home overnight. It isn't a flaw in their character.

I don't suppose they have taken an official photographer with them on this trip. Therefore it is highly likely that the person taking the photos has other responsibilities to attend to at the same time. Perhaps they are allocated as one to one support for Albert, which would make it much harder for them to take many pictures that didn't include him.

Have you ever spent a few days away with a bunch of Y6 children? I have and I slept from 2.00 when the last ones fell asleep until 5.00am when the early birds woke up, every day for a week. I was occupied every waking moment looking after the children in my care. I certainly wouldn't have been able to take a lot of time out to upload photos to a school website, never mind edit them to ensure they presented a balanced picture of all the children.

Why not just be reassured that Albert is clearly getting lots of adult attention which should mean he doesn't get the chance to upset the others?

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 12:33

Good point gold. That made me feel better...

But that won't help him interact with the others, will it?

OP posts:
EllenJanethickerknickers · 23/06/2015 12:33

There won't be just one teacher supervising 30 kids. They will have split into groups and I agree, on that day, the one supervising Albert's group is the one with the camera. Sometimes the 3 or 4 groups will be together and photos of more kids will appear.

A very similar thing happened on my DS2's residential. The vast majority of the photos were of 1/3 of the group, and not my DS2's group. I was momentarily sad, then remembered that having your photo taken does not make the activities or experience any more fun. DS2 didn't care!

MidniteScribbler · 23/06/2015 12:34

FFS, you're supposed to be adult. Why don't you try acting like one?

rockybalboa · 23/06/2015 12:35

Of all the tiny petty things in the world to get het up about!! Let it go.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 23/06/2015 12:36

And yes, I have. Y5&y6.

Never with a child like Albert though.

I guess the ones we were away with wanted to be away. Youth group thing, not school trip.

The first night, they all stated up,late. Second and third, they were all so tired they slept well. Lots of walking and outdoor fresh air stuff.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 23/06/2015 12:39

You do resent Albert and his sneery face because he has bullied your child which must annoy you perhaps the single photos of him because no other children want to be near him that is why his sneery face is all over he is near the teacher who is taking the pictures. I get you hate an 11 year old boy i think if yoyr child has been at the recieving end then of course you and the other parents are going to take it personal but fgs he is 11

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 12:42

Please go into school and complain to the teachers who take them on trips (unpaid) and moan that there aren't enough pictures of your sprog on the website for everyone to admire.

Please go on. The staff could probably do with a really good laugh.

insanityscatching · 23/06/2015 12:45

When dd stayed on her first residential the HT sent me photos of dd enjoying herself. He understood,probably like Albert's trip leaders, that staying away from home is a bigger deal to some children and their parents. Obviously other parents didn't know about my photos or his texts because they didn't go on the school website and so he avoided any potential whinging from other parents who, like you, have no idea of just how big an achievement for some kids a residential trip is. Photos of the trip for all parents were available to view at a later date perhaps that would have been a better idea for your ds's school too with just photos sent to Albert's parents.

SavoyCabbage · 23/06/2015 12:48

I can't get over a special school trip to get to know the teachers for secondary. My dd is in year six and there are seven year six classes. She hardly knows the teachers in her year level never mind next years.

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/06/2015 13:00

So, you didn't say he bullied your son, just that he was a bully. Before that clarification you effectively say you would gloat if my son ever gets bullied? Nice. Your personality is really showing through in your posts and it's not a very nice one. Perhaps compassion for the child, who obviously has some issues, wouldn't go amiss?

CrystalHaze · 23/06/2015 13:07

I am sick of his sneery face on nearly all the pix. Agghhh

Just ... wow.

googoodolly · 23/06/2015 13:14

Wow, YABVU.

It's pretty obvious that Albert has some problems if he's rarely in school all week and it's a big achievement for him to manage away overnight. Yes, it's not nice that he's taken out his frustration on your DS and his classmates by being a bit of a bully, but come on, you're an adult. It should be obvious to you that he's not having the easiest time of things and needs extra support (which he's presumably getting as he's in a lot of teacher photos, so obviously isn't being left alone).

"Sneering face" ffs. He's an 11 year old kid.

msgrinch · 23/06/2015 13:16

I'm sorry your ds was bullied by this child but the way you refer to Albert is disgusting. you are an adult.

RedToothBrush · 23/06/2015 13:19

Tell you what.

I think the school shouldn't provide ANY pictures. That way NO ONE will have need to complain.

Problem solved.

Now everyone doesn't get to see anything about what the kids got up to.

Or next time, you could volunteer to help with the trip so you can take as many pictures of your wonderful child as you possibly can.

Oh wait, you aren't going to do that are you?

This is why schools and after school clubs don't usually do shit like this. Because of miserable whinging ungrateful parents who are never satisfied.

And yes, its perfectly possibly even when taking photos to end up with loads of one child, even if you try and take loads of the others. Its quite easy to have loads of rubbish pictures and the best ones you select for the website are of particular people. But I have this feeling you'll want to argue the toss on that one, because You Are Obviously In The Right.

tobee · 23/06/2015 13:19

I had it the other way round, once. My ds appeared in loads of photos of a residential trip. To be fair, it was his birthday and he had also bought himself a huge hat so there were reasons why he stood out. I was quite embarrassed about it in some ways but obviously loved seeing him. Also, you can't exactly go around apologising to other parents because that just draws attention to it. I genuinely loved seeing all the other kids we knew so well, too. But then again, there were often other kids who were always picked to be in plays or sports teams so it seemed to even itself out. Quite naturally, no quota systems happening!