Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

'Breastfeeding is disgusting'

123 replies

startwig1982 · 22/06/2015 22:20

Two people I know, one a friend and the other more of an acquaintance, were having this conversation this evening.
Basically the friend said she was uncomfortable seeing mothers breastfeeding and later said to me, either do it in the toilet or use a bottle.
The acquaintance went as far as saying it's the same as someone 'doing a shit in the middle of the restaurant'! She was so provocative and rude and when I said that I feed my dd out and about and you can't see anything, she said it's disgusting and she would have to say something.
So here's the AIBU: we are all performing at an event in about 3/4 weeks. Wibu to ask my DH to bring my dd to the rehearsal so I can sit and provoke openly feed her? I'm so enraged by their conversation that I feel the need to change at least my friend's mind.

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/06/2015 22:44

Do it in a toilet. Is she for real.
Why should a women feeding her baby have to hide away. Not only that but expecting women to feed their babies in a germ ridden toilet, would they eat their dinner in one. I am beyond .
Legally a women can breast feed anywhere she wants.

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 22/06/2015 22:45

Worra never fails to make me laugh

why should everyone in the world be pro bf?
Maybe because it's the way our species should be feeding babies? It's the way nature intended, you know?

lljkk · 22/06/2015 22:48

Bring your DD to the performance in 3 weeks and smile sweetly at them all the while when feeding.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 22/06/2015 22:48

why should everyone in the world be pro bf?
Maybe because it's the way our species should be feeding babies? It's the way nature intended, you know

Does it always have to get to this shit?

Live and let live is the point. Everyone needs to take their judgy pants off when it comes to infant feeding.

WorraLiberty · 22/06/2015 22:49

I didn't BF any of my 3 but I fail to see how anyone could find a Mother breastfeeding her child, disgusting in any way, shape or form.

UglyBugaz · 22/06/2015 22:49

i don't think there is anything wrong with breast feeding, I do however think women should cover when doing it.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/06/2015 22:51

I'm not pro breast feeding either on a personal level. I never breast fed dd, nor will o breast feed any other children I am graced with, I wanted/will want my body back.
However that does not mean I don't advocate it for women who choose to.

UglyBugaz · 22/06/2015 22:51

And just to add bf in a toilet is disgusting, I wouldn't expect anyone to do that.

5madthings · 22/06/2015 22:53

If there is nothing wrong with bfeeding why should women.cover when doing it ugly?

Op your friends are being riddiculous, do feed in front of them, I would have to to see if they did actually say something, doubt they will.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 22:53

But who is pro or anti breast feeding? I mean why? Who gives a shiny shite how anyone else feeds a baby.

Why do people have such massive beaks and the types that do are such twats.

Op ditch these friends they sound thick and hurtful to you and your dd.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 22/06/2015 22:54

But who is pro or anti breast feeding? I mean why? Who gives a shiny shite how anyone else feeds a baby

Exactly.

hiddenhome · 22/06/2015 22:54

God, this makes me so angry to hear people call breastfeeding disgusting

OP tell your friends that neither of them would be here today without it, because it's something that all our ancestors had to do. No bottles then

Kennington · 22/06/2015 22:55

Maybe point out to you friend that there isn't a massive difference between a cows udders and breasts. Perhaps she just hasn't seen people breastfeed? I used to feel awkward about it until I became a mother and turned into the biggest milk producing person ever.

PerspicaciaTick · 22/06/2015 22:55

There is a huge difference between "BFing is not the right choice for me" and "BFing is like doing a shit in a restaurant". The first is absolutely fine, the second serves merely to denigrate women by telling them how revolting their bodies are.

mayfridaycomequickly · 22/06/2015 22:56

I bf and thought it was disgusting - I hated the ticklish squirty feeling. I had to express at first as ds was in nicu - I had to do it with a blanket over me as I thought it looked disgusting.

My bond with him is totally fine.

Ive had this conversation in real life and expressed my view but would never say that anyone else bfvis disgusting!

VanillaTwirl · 22/06/2015 22:56

In answer to your actual AIBU - yes you are.

It's a similar thing as the 'feed ins' that people insist on doing. They were obnoxious and rude, yes - so tell them; to get your husband to "bring my dd to the rehearsal so I can sit and provoke openly feed her?" is a bit childish imo.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 22/06/2015 22:56

The way she phrased it was going too far, but I personally just see breastfeeding as something that should be tried for baby sake, not some great achievement that we should all admire. I'm planning to bf mine, but sometimes wish formula was just as beneficial. Breastfeeding seems ridiculously 'primal' in modern society.

Should we be 'offended' by it? No, it is natural. Can we feel uncomfortable by it? Absolutely, as self aware creatures, that doesn't seem an abnormal reaction to me either.

So, I can see how you felt offended op, but I don't think you should make some great statement with bf either. Accept you're both just on very opposite ends of the opinion scale on this matter, and she has not actually taken away your right to bf.

hiddenhome · 22/06/2015 22:57

In fact, watch them eating, then carefully tell them "that food you're eating is going to turn into shit you know, how 'disgusting' is that?"

mrstweefromtweesville · 22/06/2015 22:58

Why do we have to be coy about the rightness of breastfeeding? People who express opinions as the OP's friends have are people who need serious re-education about the purpose of breasts.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 22:58

ugly have you ever seen a woman bf any other way than discretely except at home?

I haven't and been a parent for 25 years so seen many many women feed.

imwithspud · 22/06/2015 22:58

Sigh, I do wish people could just accept breastfeeding for what it is. It's just a baby, having some food. What exactly is so repulsive about that?

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 22/06/2015 23:00

Coffee, I wasn't saying that FF mothers are worse than BF mothers. It doesn't matter to me, how the baby is fed, as long as he/she is happy.
I'm just saying that the most natural way to feed a baby is breastmilk. And anyone saying opposite is just very stupid in my opinion.
This is why I feel that everyone should be pro bf. Not in a forcing sense, but at least welcoming every attempt to breastfeed.

OP, do you want me to come and feed my DD as well? Maybe couple of women with toddlers? Surely your friend wouldn't mind?

trilbydoll · 22/06/2015 23:01

We are mix feeding 4wo DD. she's just had her bedtime bottle - there was grunting, squawking, squeaking, yelling, burping ... If I was in a restaurant, it would put me off my food! Breastfeeding is relatively discreet compared to that performance.

Having said that, I am constantly leaking milk everywhere, so from that perspective breastfeeding is pretty gross.

UglyBugaz · 22/06/2015 23:01

in a public place I think women should cover. It's still their breast and people will still look at it as exposure.

LokiBear · 22/06/2015 23:01

Threads like this pop up from time to time and always make me a bit . I have never met a single person who has been repulsed by breastfeeding to the point that they would make these comments. In fact, I've never met anyone who had had an issue with bf full stop. The most negative comment I ever heard was from a friend who admitted she didn't breastfeed because she felt the idea of it was weird because her 'boobs had always been for sex'. She went on to say that she wondered if she'd have felt differently if she'd had her children when she was a little older as she was in her very early 20s and a bit naive.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5