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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think men have no right to stand outside abortion clinics and do this.

787 replies

QuestioningStuff · 22/06/2015 09:36

Posted before about my pregnancy. I am having a termination today. This is not a decision I've made lightly.

I've arrived at the clinic and there is a middle aged man and his young teen son standing outside with camp chairs and flasks. Putting up awful pictures and signs. Trying to hand out leaflets.

I think women who do this are also scum but how on earth could a man think he has any right to do this? Turn up at a place where women are at their most scared and vulnerable and try to bully them?

It's really really upset me. I hate them so much right now.

I want to go and tell them exactly what I think of them but don't think that would be helpful at this time.

OP posts:
OvidWasMyFishmonger · 22/06/2015 15:30

"Men commenly feel deep love for their unborn, but are often completly powerless in the final decision.......

Would any of you like to be in that position?"

Yes. You know why? Because I know - KNOW, deep in my heart and in my mind - that it's wrong, thoroughly and utterly wrong to put the power to make decisions regarding what happens to any individual's body into the hands of any person other than that individual.

I'm completely powerless in the final decision as to whether my husband has a vasectomy, my adult daughter has a tonsillectomy, my neighbour has her hair cut or my father has a flu jab.

And so I should be.

Getthewonderwebout · 22/06/2015 15:33

They have a right to express opinion as much as a woman. Unless of course men are not required to contribute in the conception of a child anymore?

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP.

Given the hate spewed from so many on those site towards men, it's unsure to me how children are conceived in the first place. These same women who have sons, who have no respect for the male sex.

twofingerstoGideon · 22/06/2015 15:36

Given the hate spewed from so many on those site towards men, it's unsure to me how children are conceived in the first place. These same women who have sons, who have no respect for the male sex.

Eh?

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 15:38

orange no actually lots of us think they don't have a right to protest outside of a clinic. It's harassment and intimidation.

Men can and do feel deep love for their unborn child agree but I wouldn't trust any man who loves the unborn child more than regarding or supporting the mother of their unborn child? That's nasty.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 15:44

Get my two grown up sons have nothing but the utmost respect and humanity towards women. I am proud to be their mother.

My dh is a wonderful supportive father to our 2 girls.

We all respect other people's absolute rights to their bodily autonomy.

There's no hate spewed to men dear just hate to the haters be they men or women.

Now go and tackle that home work love.

OvidWasMyFishmonger · 22/06/2015 15:46

"These same women who have sons, who have no respect for the male sex."

I don't respect anyone who tells me what to do with my own body, regardless of what genitalia they have between their legs.

Enormouse · 22/06/2015 15:47

How much respect do these men have for the female sex? Those men who protest in a way that intimidates and harasses women at their most vulnerable.

Oh and I do respect men. Those that respect women and their right to autonomy. And I feel the same anger towards female anti abortion protesters as I do towards the men.

SolitaryInTheVoid · 22/06/2015 15:50

"They have a right to express opinion as much as a woman. Unless of course men are not required to contribute in the conception of a child anymore?

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP.

Given the hate spewed from so many on those site towards men, it's unsure to me how children are conceived in the first place. These same women who have sons, who have no respect for the male sex."

Thank FUCK for that.

This site mostly just feels like being in a cockamamie parallel universe where nobody like me exists and just everything I think or stand for is just the worst most sickening crime ever.

Thanks for your comment, a welcome note of sanity from out of the hubbub.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 15:50

Yep same here. I only detest those who seek to deny other people basic human rights to their own body.

Men or women.

acatcalledjohn · 22/06/2015 15:50

Standing outside a clinic judging women going through a horrible process is out of order. It's intimidating. Anyone with morals would take a step back rather than acting all passive aggressive. It's like kicking someone when they are down.

Also, who are men to decide on what we choose to happen to our bodies? A man cannot make the decision for a women when it comes to abortion.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this on top of your termination, OP. Flowers for you.

MitzyLeFrouf · 22/06/2015 15:52

This site mostly just feels like being in a cockamamie parallel universe where nobody like me exists

We can but dream.........

Cherryblossomsinspring · 22/06/2015 15:56

The sex of the protester is of no consequence, men may never need an abortion but they are protesting the loss of a potential life and may be fathers at some point. You could argue that women over 45 have no right to be there protesting either.

I think there needs to be an exclusion zone (and thank you to that poster for the petition link, I signed it). People are untitled to an opinion but I feel protesting outside clinics is the same as a serious psychological assault on a vulnerable person. That should definitely be illegal. Especially when the abortion itself is legal.

Andrewofgg · 22/06/2015 15:57

A man cannot make the decision for a woman when it comes to abortion.

Indeed not. And neither can a woman - except the one concerned. It's a democratic decision with only one qualified voter.

OvidWasMyFishmonger · 22/06/2015 15:58

Excellently put Andrew.

Jux · 22/06/2015 15:59

The Gov didn't like protests taking place in Parliament Square, so they put a stop to it.

They can do the same for abortion clinics. I fully support an exclusion zone.

OvidWasMyFishmonger · 22/06/2015 16:00

"You could argue that women over 45 have no right to be there protesting either."

I do. And women under 45.

I argue that no-one, male or female, young or old, has the right to demand that they or any other person or institution has a say over what an individual does with his or her own body.

sashh · 22/06/2015 16:01

Creating exclusion zones for things we feel are sensitive is just the start of the slippery slope towards banning peaceful protest.

Is it? Try getting near 10 downing St to protest.

Or as someone else said, try being a JW protesting in a hospital.

Many people think a baby would be better with adoptive parents than a teenage mother, but we don't let them in to maternity wards, vegetarians don't stand outside butchers protesting, MN doesn't have a picket line outside Claires telling parents to a) not have their baby's ears pierced and b) to go to a piercing studio.

And that's if you consider it a protest, personally I'd call it harassment.

RandomFriend · 22/06/2015 16:03

YANBU, OP. Flowers

I don't think anyone should have the right to make a protest so close to a clinic. There should be a 50m exclusion zone.

lastuseraccount123 · 22/06/2015 16:12

I agree with exclusion zone. Will sign.

The one thing that really bothered me when I went for my abortion was how fort-knox- like the clinic was, due to threats from anti-abortion whackjobs. I agree with pp who say protests like this are about bullying and intimidation as much as protesting.

MindMaking · 22/06/2015 16:14

They don't have a right to harass you. I would say you are being harassed. Therefore the law should be applied to stop them.

Nothing to stop them making a protest against abortion in their own garden.

motherofmonster · 22/06/2015 16:14

They have a right to express opinion as much as a woman. Unless of course men are not required to contribute in the conception of a child anymore? ....

Yes they do. But until they are able to physically carry, nurture and give birth to that specific child then there opinion is a moot point and should have no bearing.

The only persons who's opinion counts as to terminate a pregnancy is the woman whos body the fetus is in.

Not the goverment
Not some random woman or man on the street.
Not the Church
Not even the man from sodding del monty.

Abortion is legal in the uk. It is that simple.
There are guidelines as to when and for what reason a woman can choose to have a abortion.
If we support a woman's right to choose then it should be regardless of why the choice has been made, from rape, medical to just not the right time to wanting to go travelling for a year. I may not agree with her choice, i may not choose the same choice in the same situation. But i respect her right to choose regardless.

workhouse · 22/06/2015 16:24

Hope you are o.k. OP.

This situation is getting worse in the U.K. At the moment it doesn't seem to be considered bad enough for escorts, but I don't think that it will be long before they are needed. How ANYONE could describe these protests as peaceful is beyond me.

SolitaryInTheVoid · 22/06/2015 16:30

Are there less controversial, more compassionate alternatives to this method of protest for people who aren't pro-abortion?

It seems like badgering people when they feel sad and alone and showing them unpleasant pictures can't be something that appeals to more than a small fringe of people.

Jux · 22/06/2015 16:35

The two blokes could take their deckchairs and thermos to Westminster. That way they'd have half a chance of the people who actually make the decisions about the law taking a bit of notice.

'Protesting' outside the clinic will have no effect at all on the people who have power and influence - ie, the lawmakers, Parliament - but only upsets the people who are going about their lawful business.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 16:37

mother great post there.

The thing is these wankers arnt concerned in the slightest about any child unborn or not.

They are simply bullies and sadists enjoying upsetting women.

That's the sad and simple fact.