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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not actually know what te neighbour wants me to do about the cat??

123 replies

Confusedmartie999 · 18/06/2015 17:24

Long story short we moved in a few months ago.
We have a cat aged 3 who we rescued, he always has been a little ferrel and not the type of cat to come home every night etc.
we also have an elderly cat who lives indoors and very rarely ventures out.
We've never been allowed a cat flap before ( renting ) so if he wasn't home by the time we went to sleep he stayed out.
At this house we have one so it's left open all the time, on a latch so if he comes in he can't get back out at night.
Within a few weeks the neighbour knocked and complained the cat was going in their house at night, to sleep, eat and was upsetting their cats.
I apologised, bought them chocolates and have made every effort to ensure by evening he is locked in evening though he spends hours crying at the back door or by the cat flap, so loud it wakes the children from time to time to avoid any conflict with the neighbour.
I did explain in the day I would be letting him out so there isn't much I can do about him coming in during the day and they said it was the night time that was the problem.
No issues since as far as I knew but this morning I bumped into the neighbours outside and the man ( he was the one who initially knocked ) said it's getting ridiculous, that one night last week he found him alseep on his sofa ( this night we had tried and failed to get him to come home, we had tried until 1am with all sorts of treats etc but he just wouldn't come back ) and then went on to say that he also ate cooked sausages that were left on the side in the daytime yesterday.
I did ask why he doesn't lock his cat flap at night since he made it clear his cats don't go out at night but he replied that they aren't going back to litter trays and I should think of a suitable solution.
I said I'm not sure what else I can physically do and he replied that in all the years he has lived here he has never had this and he shouldn't have to fork out for an electronic cat flap to suit us and that our cat shouldn't be living in a cul de sac but on a farm.
I have a 5 year old son who loves the cat otherwise I would consider re homing but I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
Shockers · 18/06/2015 22:09

Our cat goes in through one neighbour's Veluxes and curls up on their bed, waits by a nearby cafe door looking hungry every day and chaperones our other, elderly neighbour to the newsagents every morning.

I love that he gets on with everyone, but I am very aware that he could be annoying, so I try to gauge that. He has bought wine for the neighbour who's bed he has slept on...

If I knew he was overstepping the mark, I would offer to pay for the cat flap... and the sausages Grin.

limitedperiodonly · 18/06/2015 22:15

I have had a cat and I think it's the owner's responsibility to ensure a cat doesn't cause a nuisance to neighbours. And I think a cat going into somebody else's house is a nuisance.

I agree. I have a cat. He shits in his shit pit that I clean out at least once a day and does not shit in my neighbours' gardens.

I realise that's unusual. I have a secure back garden and he's not interested in climbing the walls. We occasionally go for walks in the street. He doesn't have a lead, he's happy to walk in front of me and explore basements without shitting. If he did I'd clean it up. My neighbours like him but if they objected I'd take a note and stop him going there.

However, like I said, that's unusual.

I think it's reasonable to let the cat roam free but have a litter tray so you can clean up most of your pet's shit. If anyone complains about mess caused by your cat in their garden then I think you should go round and clean it up.

I hope OP has a litter tray.

But her neighbour has said he keeps cats and doesn't want one. He just doesn't like her cat. Well, maybe the other neighbours don't like his.

He has forfeited the right to complain.

limitedperiodonly · 18/06/2015 22:20

shockers one of our cats would curl up on a neighbour's bed in the summer when she'd leave her back door open.

Her husband hated him but she loved him. Sadly, the ungrateful little brute would hiss and scram when she tried to stroke him.

She didn't hold it against him though Smile

nooyearnooname · 18/06/2015 22:20

Not helpful but I LOVE the idea of a sausage stealing cat. It would make my day if a random cat snuck into my kitchen stole my sausages! YANBU - cats are nosy buggers, not a lot anyone can do about it.

fukkigucci · 18/06/2015 22:29

I had a neighbours cat that would openly screen windows from the outside and come in and go through my bin.
Once, a different neighbour, made a deep fried chicken for my DH. I had it on the kitchen counter cooling. As I was bathing the kids, the fucking cat snuck in and stole the entire chicken. Little fucker.

BonnieNoClyde · 18/06/2015 22:35

omg, i would die if a strange cat came in to my house.

I agree that that is a nuisance and the owner of the cat should try to sort it out.

PowderMum · 18/06/2015 22:45

PowderCat has her own personal electronic cat flap, otherwise she invites too many friends over. If I leavethe door open they come in. If she goes back to their homes and the cat flap is open its not my fault.

EvilTendency1 · 18/06/2015 22:54

I have a dog door installed - big enough for a Labrador, found a neighbours can in the kitchen once lazy dog looked at it as well when I found it and gave me a What do you want me to do ? Look I'm not going to say what I did but that fecking cat never came back.

I'm not a cat fan at ALL but it got in through a hole in my door so that was my problem, hardly worth complaining to the owner of the cat ...Hmm

EvilTendency1 · 18/06/2015 22:55

CAT not can - sheesh Confused

BettyCatKitten · 18/06/2015 23:06

Op, get your neighbour a copy of the book '6 dinners Sid'. Who leaves cooked sausages on the side overnight and not in the fridge? Seriously he's UR for that alone, hss he not heard of food poisoning?
Sorry but this had made me laughGrin.
I've had cats for years and have often had a random in my house, one of whom stayed and birthed kittens in my loungeSmile.
If they don't want your cat in their house then they must make sure it doesn't get in. Any discerning cat owner knows that cats don't have owners, they have staffGrin

Cornishandproud · 18/06/2015 23:19

Perfect solution op. Humane rat catcher and that night put your catch through his cat flap, guarantee he'll never leave it unlocked at night again!

kali110 · 18/06/2015 23:19

Or the neighbour has just never realised other cats have come into his house!
We've had lots of cats come into the house, we regulary have a visiting cat, he comes about 4 times a week for food and sleep!luckily he gets on with most of ours!
We had a cat live in our house for over a week without even realising! It's how we got our two boys! ( both strays in bad way but thankfully fine now).
We do get few others coming in nicking food though in the night.
Two of ours go next door and scrounge food if they don't like what were having, luckily its a relative living there so they don't mind!
Before we got our oldest he used to go to go visit a few elderly ladies in the street, he's way to lazy for that now!
I know it can be annoying.
There are family with 4 huge toms who keep attacking all the cats in the area and have come into ours in the night and bit ours.
Its worrying as ours are old now but there is not much we can do.
We locked the cat flap up but they were miserable when they got better as they like to be able to go out and they refused their litter tray!
We worried about our little visitor too.
I also thought it may have been karma as my ginger one was a right scrapper when he was young Blush
You can't do much op
If he has a cat flap he should expect other cats may use it!!!
Fukki my one cat is notorious for nicking peoples dinners!

fukkigucci · 18/06/2015 23:31

We laugh about it now! But that cat was the bane of my existence for an entire summer!!
Side point, as someone who doesn't own a cat, I honestly couldn't understand why the owner couldn't do something about it. I get it now, but it was very frustrating.

Yarp · 19/06/2015 06:37

Blarblarblar

Don't feel bad about shooting with water pistol - I also love cats. The water does not hit them full force! Just a few drops and they scarper, and if you keep doing it they don't even have to get wet to remember they didn't like it.

The lion stuff is pellets infused with essence of dung or something- It's called Silent Roar - although I think it should be re-named Puss Off

Opal

About £60-70 from online pet stores. They are the best invention ever. Sureflap is the name

Yarp · 19/06/2015 06:38

BTW - next door's cat has got into my house twice through open windows - my solution - don't leave windows open. Not rocket science

Yarp · 19/06/2015 06:46

The man-next-door's cats probably go in other people's houses too. Many many cats do it under cover of darkness, a s recent Documentary on cat behaviour found when they attached cameras to a set of cats in villages and towns

NorahDentressangle · 19/06/2015 06:59

The reason they are someone else's problem is why there are too many cats.

MythicalKings · 19/06/2015 07:05

I can see the neighbour's point but he can lock his cat flap. Offering to pay for the sausages would be a nice gesture.

On the wider point, I don't like cats, I'm also allergic to them. We are trying to cat proof our garden but occasionally one gets in and it's annoying to see someone say keep doors and windows closed on a hot day to keep them out of the house. And finding cat shit in the veggie patch is very annoying.

Our next step will be anti-cat fencing but that's expensive.

IamTheWhoreofBabylon · 19/06/2015 07:06

For those who think OP should pay for an electronic cat flap
What then if the cat starts going to a different house, does she buy another?
It could be very expensive

ChunkyPickle · 19/06/2015 07:12

I like cats, although don't (and won't - we move too much) have one, and in general I'm infuriated by some cat owners attitude around cat poo (which I don't bloody want in my garden!)

However I'm with you on this one OP. He's got an open door into his house, from his comment, presumably so his cats can go and poo where they want - for his convenience) and I'm surprised it's just cats that wander in. I've lived places where an open door will get pigeons, ducks, geese (only once, and it was terrifying), hedgehogs, foxes and whatever else felt like exploring (the joys of backing onto a woods).

He needs to secure his own house.

I have to say that if you brought round a pack of sausages I'd probably think you were taking the mick though..... unless they were terribly expensive sausages.

PunkrockerGirl · 19/06/2015 07:16

Don't engage with him, OP.
He's being a complete twat by choosing not to fix what is essentially is his problem Don't give it a second thought.

Original poster
Confusedmartie999 · 19/06/2015 08:25

Thanks for replying!
I think I've just been too bloody nice about it to be honest, when he first knocked and said about it I should have replied yeah no worries I'll leave it constantly open and that should have been the end, knocking with chocolates and apologising profusely and asking when I see them if he's been back etc must have led them to thinking I'm a soft touch who doesn't want to upset them and probably do think I'll now offer to pay for the cat flap for them or send the cat away to live somewhere else.
Of which I'm doing neither, or knocking with sausages.
Had his attitude been different I would have put a tenner through his letterbox with a card apologising but it's so bad I think it's best I just steer clear of him.
Roll on March when we can leave, providing we find something better, I can't stand the thought of living beside someone like this for longer than that.

OP posts:
NorahDentressangle · 19/06/2015 08:40

Well yes, but really - you are choosing to have a roaming cat as a pet.

I could say I have this beautiful pet cockerel, he crows at 4am but hey, that's what cockerels do. Or I have a small cute terrier, yes he nips some ankles but hey, that's what terriers do.

In this case he is also a cat owner so he can fix it but in most cases it's pet owners expecting everyone else to love their pet's habits.

itsmine · 19/06/2015 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyFirstFire · 19/06/2015 09:16

No way is yours the only cat that's been through his cat flap.

He just thinks you're a soft touch who can be leaned on to buy him a posh cat flap

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