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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not actually know what te neighbour wants me to do about the cat??

123 replies

Confusedmartie999 · 18/06/2015 17:24

Long story short we moved in a few months ago.
We have a cat aged 3 who we rescued, he always has been a little ferrel and not the type of cat to come home every night etc.
we also have an elderly cat who lives indoors and very rarely ventures out.
We've never been allowed a cat flap before ( renting ) so if he wasn't home by the time we went to sleep he stayed out.
At this house we have one so it's left open all the time, on a latch so if he comes in he can't get back out at night.
Within a few weeks the neighbour knocked and complained the cat was going in their house at night, to sleep, eat and was upsetting their cats.
I apologised, bought them chocolates and have made every effort to ensure by evening he is locked in evening though he spends hours crying at the back door or by the cat flap, so loud it wakes the children from time to time to avoid any conflict with the neighbour.
I did explain in the day I would be letting him out so there isn't much I can do about him coming in during the day and they said it was the night time that was the problem.
No issues since as far as I knew but this morning I bumped into the neighbours outside and the man ( he was the one who initially knocked ) said it's getting ridiculous, that one night last week he found him alseep on his sofa ( this night we had tried and failed to get him to come home, we had tried until 1am with all sorts of treats etc but he just wouldn't come back ) and then went on to say that he also ate cooked sausages that were left on the side in the daytime yesterday.
I did ask why he doesn't lock his cat flap at night since he made it clear his cats don't go out at night but he replied that they aren't going back to litter trays and I should think of a suitable solution.
I said I'm not sure what else I can physically do and he replied that in all the years he has lived here he has never had this and he shouldn't have to fork out for an electronic cat flap to suit us and that our cat shouldn't be living in a cul de sac but on a farm.
I have a 5 year old son who loves the cat otherwise I would consider re homing but I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
Blarblarblar · 18/06/2015 19:05

Not I he, I would not hurt a cat although I do shout fuck off you baaaasstards

Blarblarblar · 18/06/2015 19:05

When they shit in my garden not just for fun.

Yarp · 18/06/2015 19:06

I agree. He's a twat and should pay to sort this problem out himself.

I'd be very surprised if he hasn't had cats in his house before - he just hasn't encountered one who is so bold.

Electronic cat flaps are the way to go. It solved our problem of a wandering Tom who'd come in a spray

chickenfuckingpox · 18/06/2015 19:06

i didnt have a cat flap but my neighbors white cat would invade anyway one day i searched the entire house all his hiding places everywhere he wasn't in so i shut the back door turning around i saw my "kettle" jump off the counter i screamed like i was being murdered turns out it was her white cat sat right in front of my kettle he had sat there not moving for over ten minutes while i looked for him! my neighbor actually came round to see if i was ok i threw her cat at her and babbled about flying kettles Blush

i still didnt blame her for her cat invading my house Grin

Yarp · 18/06/2015 19:08

Blarblarblar

I use a water gun on cats who come in our garden. If you do it religiously it works. (I also have a cat myself). Lion pellets seem to help too

SirChenjin · 18/06/2015 19:08

You could shrug your shoulders and say "tough luck, neighbour" (or words to that effect.

Or

You could offer to buy an electronic cat flap.

Depends how concerned you are about neighbourly relations.

Blarblarblar · 18/06/2015 19:09

Grin that cat was laughing at you chicken while you hunted they are little buggers.

Blarblarblar · 18/06/2015 19:11

I couldn't shoot them yarp I'd feel bad. I actually love cats and grew up with loads but I'm very allergic and the shit I hate the shit.
I'll try look for lion pellets is that lion poo? Can you buy it?

SoupDragon · 18/06/2015 19:11

Why shops the Op fork out ££ for an electronic cat flap if the house owner can't be arsed to do anything to stop animals coming inside his house?

SirChenjin · 18/06/2015 19:17

Because it's her cat that's wandering and going into his house.

Or she can just shrug her shoulders. It's up to her.

DoJo · 18/06/2015 19:19

I have a 5 year old son who loves the cat otherwise I would consider re homing but I don't know what to do

I don't think we should have to pay for an electronic cat flap, in fact I would rather put the money towards moving when our tenancy expires not to have to live next door to people like this to be honest.

I think it's a shame that you would consider re-homing a cat before considering paying for a more discerning cat flap for your neighbour. If you really want to reduce the bad feeling, then offering to pay is one way that you can do it, and I don't think it's that unreasonable for you to at least say you'll go halves to keep the peace. The chances of getting the 'perfect' neighbours are pretty slim, so if this is the only problem you have with your current ones, and it can be easily solved with a little compromise, then I would shell out the £20 to at least show willing.

limitedperiodonly · 18/06/2015 19:20

Love it! As some one whose carefully tended lettuces now serve as the neighbour's "litter tray", I am delighted to hear that his own selfishness has bit him in the ass.

That was my thought HayfeverHell.

And I have a cat. And a shit pit in my house that I clean because he's my responsibility.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 18/06/2015 19:20

I'm sorry but the eating the sausages made me Grin

hoobypickypicky · 18/06/2015 19:26

What does he mean "upsetting their cats"? Because unless it's a way of saying "Beating shit out of Tiddles every night" I'd laugh and walk away.

I can understand his reaction if he didn't have cats of his own but another popping in to say hello and he's getting stroppy about it? Really? Is there a need?

One of mine regularly visits Socks and Betty, his owner, who live round the corner. I was mortified at first but she's totally fine with it. She's now referred to as "Roger's other Mum" just as often as she is spoken of as Betty! As she says, she likes cats so whats the harm in another popping by?

FishWithABicycle · 18/06/2015 19:31

Not your problem. He has decided to have his home such that any random passing cat can come in if it chooses. That's his choice. If he doesn't want some extra cats to come in he has it entirely within his power to block access. Even if you could by some miracle train your cat to stay away, there would be nothing to stop some other cat doing the same. So ignore his whining.

munchkin2902 · 18/06/2015 19:40

We had the same problem with our neighbour's cat. It liked to come in at night and inhale all our boys' food.

We put in a microchip cat flap. I would never have dreamt of complaining to my neighbour or asking her to pay for it Hmm he is being a tear.

munchkin2902 · 18/06/2015 19:40

Twat!!

SoupDragon · 18/06/2015 19:43

Because it's her cat that's wandering and going into his house.

He is the one with a gaping hole in his back door.

gobbin · 18/06/2015 20:49

We had exactly the same issue with a new neighbour. Our cat was apparently going intomtheir house at night and they came round to complain. I said that we'd make more of an effort to get the cat in earlier but, if we called repeatedly and it didn't come, then we'd be going to bed!

I suggested they lock their flap but they said "we want our cat to be able to come and go at night". Oh, so YOUR cat gets to do its thing but not ours?!

They never bothered us again.

goodasitgets · 18/06/2015 20:54

Meh. I currently have two neighbours cats asleep on my bed Blush
Ground floor apartment, if I open the window they're in Grin

OpalQuartz · 18/06/2015 20:59

How much does an electronic cat flap cost?

Viviennemary · 18/06/2015 21:09

I have had a cat and I think it's the owner's responsibility to ensure a cat doesn't cause a nuisance to neighbours. And I think a cat going into somebody else's house is a nuisance.

ragged · 18/06/2015 21:54

£40-£90, OpalQuartz.
The most reliable ones operate in response to cat's microchip.
I bet OP's neighbour's cat aren't microchipped :(.

StarlingMurmuration · 18/06/2015 21:59

We've just moved into a new home, and our cats are being real wusses about defending their new territory. We've twice had neighbouring cats come in at night, one of whom actually sprayed, so now we lock ours in at night, until we can get an electronic cat flap fitted. It's our responsibility, we realise the neighbours can't do a thing to stop their cats invading! YANBU at all.

evelynj · 18/06/2015 22:03

Ignore him & carry on being as neighbourly as you can about it. If he speaks to you again about it, say you do all you can but as a cat owner he will know they are free spirits & you'll welcome his cats if they stray into your house & hope he does the same.

We have a Tom from down the road that treats this like his home. I close the kitchen door to limit the damage.

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