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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that if a friend brings round a bottle if you're cooking them supper it should be more than a third full!

45 replies

PoppyField · 17/06/2015 23:56

That's it. Had an old friend, whom I see regularly, round the other night. It was raining and she was on the doorstep all wet, so I ushered her in. She handed me a bottle of wine in the process and while she dried herself off, I shoved it in the fridge, thinking it felt warm and we could drink the wine I already had chilled. We had a nice dinner and drank the cold bottle with the food.

The next night I fancied a glass of wine and went to fish hers out of the fridge, and, I shit you not, it had 275ml (I know, I had to measure it, for the full excitement of this) of wine in it.

I was somewhat gobsmacked. I mean, who does this? Tight yes, but why bring anything round at all, it's kind of worse than nothing!

p.s. I'm seeing her this w/e and am thinking of concocting a little story. Something along the lines of 'Oh that bottle of wine you brought the other night must have been slightly open and must have leaked in the fridge, as there was only a bit left in the bottom when I went to open it the day after. I was so disappointed!'

Any other ideas welcome...

OP posts:

Fatmomma99 · 17/06/2015 23:59

how big was the bottle? I thought 75ml was the standard size. (I'm clearly wrong, but in my head, she's brought round some effing magnum!)

Giift it her back, obv!

pickledparsnip · 17/06/2015 23:59

YABU. Maybe that's all she had

pickledparsnip · 18/06/2015 00:00

Maybe she had no time to go to the shops. Maybe she was skint. Who knows. Can't see this ever bothering me.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 18/06/2015 00:01

Take a spud and suggest you share it for dinner? As the rest must have fallen out of the packet on the way...
Or maybe she grabbed the wrong bottle on her way out? Too embarrassed to explain why she handed over last nights left overs instead of that fancy bottle she got for the dinner..
Make a light joke and see how she answers.
Yanbu, but maybe it was a genuine mistake.

CainInThePunting · 18/06/2015 00:02

Did she even realise though?
She probably grabbed one from the fridge as she dashed out the door and might not have noticed it wasn't a full one...?
I would pull her leg about it, see what her reaction is like.

vulgarwretch · 18/06/2015 00:05

When I first read this I thought she was secretly topping her glass up from the bottle in the fridge during the evening. In which case she probably needs help.

I think it could also have been a mistake. Possibly she had the open bottle out on the counter and grabbed it on her way out? Bringing a mostly empty bottle of wine round on purpose is unimaginable.

CainInThePunting · 18/06/2015 00:06

Sorry WhyCantIUse, I honestly didn't copy and paste your comment!

Original poster

PoppyField · 18/06/2015 00:08

Normal bottle is 75cl or 750ml, Fatmomma - so normal size.

pickled - she's not definitely not skint, just tight. I would know if she was hard up. And there's an offy between her house and the tube.

Nice spud idea Why. Might use it. Trouble is she has form for this kind of thing, but this one is now Top of the Pops.

OP posts:

ImSoCoolNow · 18/06/2015 00:10

Having a giggle at a 75ml bottle of wine...

Sorry Fatmomma

CrystalHaze · 18/06/2015 00:41

YANBU. It's kind of an odd thing to do without saying something along the lines of 'sorry, this was all I had in the house and I was going to stop off at the offy but I forgot my purse.' It wouldnt bother me as I wouldn't be expecting them to bring a bottle, but turning up with a bottle that's been mostly consumed already I find odd.

QuintShhhhhh · 18/06/2015 00:49

If she
Does it again, ensure that is all the eine SHE gets.....

Smidge001 · 18/06/2015 00:53

To be honest if it's a close friend you see all the time I don't think it's such an odd thing to do (if it was just the two of you there). Maybe she opened the bottle yesterday and hadn't finished it, and thought it wouldn't last another day so brought it round to finish off. The only thing is I'd have mentioned that when I arrived whereas she didn't - nor did she suggest you drink the leftovers first before opening a full bottle. But it could have been her intention and then just forgot as you helped her out taking the bottle while she was sorting herself out at the door.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 18/06/2015 00:57

Well I'm sorry but she's no friend op.

Original poster

PoppyField · 18/06/2015 15:22

Oh good, not just me then. I wouldn't have remarked particularly if there'd just been a glass out of it. That is the kind of thing you might do with someone you know well. Perhaps. Trouble is with tight friends there's a danger that they pull you down to their level. The only response sometimes is to do the same to them, but that feels worse. Then, if they continue to do it, you feel you're being 'played' and start stewing away.

I think I might try and play a straight bat and say 'Did you know that bottle you brought round was half-empty?', and leave a looooong pause ...

Thanks all.

OP posts:

MaxPepsi · 18/06/2015 15:44

I have taken half drunk bottles of wine round to a friends house but I have also, always taken another full bottle and I generally am the one who drinks the open one whilst the others can crack on with the full one.

expatinscotland · 18/06/2015 15:47

I don't understand people who hang out with tight gits and then complain about it.

grisclair · 18/06/2015 16:23

A friend of mine used to be friends with a couple who had form for this type of thing as well. One time they brought an open, half-full bottle of wine, saying they didn't like it but maybe she would enjoy it.

My friend, her then-boyfriend and the couple also used to cook together occasionally and everyone would bring some of the ingredients. Tight couple would buy vegetables from a nearby farmers' market on their way to my friend's house not just for the one meal but the next couple of days. They would then unpack some of their shopping on my friend's kitchen table and tell her to use the "uglier" one of two heads of lettuce or the slightly squashed apples because they would like to "keep the nice ones".

There are loads of similar anecdotes about these two and they still get told regularly among my circle of friends about 10 years later.

Original poster

PoppyField · 18/06/2015 17:53

So sorry expat. Of course no-one else is bloody moaning on these threads!

And like grisclair it's always good for a story.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 18/06/2015 18:02

Didn't you notice when you put it in the fridge? I would have. I can spot when I'm being cheated out of booze a mile off.

expatinscotland · 18/06/2015 18:02

Why not just laugh at her, 'You cheapskate, you! Mmm, leftover wine. Hope no one swilled off the bottle.'

mileend2bermondsey · 18/06/2015 18:06

I wouldnt say anything, and I am not the reserved type, why would you? What good can come of it other than making her feel cheap? You didn't ask her to bring anything, you wernt expecting anything and youre a glass and a half of wine up. I dont see what the problem is

Penfold007 · 18/06/2015 18:08

Maybe she made a mistake and brought an already open bottle in error

ceebelle83 · 18/06/2015 18:11

How, pray tell, did you carry it to the fridge without realising it was all but empty???

Original poster

PoppyField · 18/06/2015 18:34

I want to make her feel cheap. She is!

ceebelle I was carrying other stuff, as I'd taken her bag and coat from her - coz I've got nice manners - and then she put the bottle into my hand, I suppose the only thing that I registered was that it was warm, but you're right it must have been very light as well.

OP posts:

CakeLady1 · 18/06/2015 18:50

Poppy field - if you want to make her feel cheap, then you're not being a true friend to her at all.
If she was a repeat offender, then pull her up on it, but for the one off, YABU

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