to not want to pay £100 to guarantee that our kids can sit next to us on the plane

[mumsnit]

DH wants us to pay £25 each to guarantee that we can all get seats together when we go on holiday next month. Aibu to think it's a ridiculous cost to pay out

But I have heard that one airline refused to seat a family together as they hadn't paid the premium and tried to seat a 3 year old alone on the other side of the plane from the parents. We don't go on holiday very often - especially abroad and I'm already nervous about flying so don't want this added to the stress of travelling.

WWYD/WDYD - do you pay the extra cost?

We are going to Florida next year and will be paying to make sure we are all near each other.

It will be the first time the DC fly and the first time in over 10 years for me.

If you won't pay then don't expect any of us to move because we won't be.

"Also, I see a difference between paying for a particular seat and simply wanting to be seated next to your small child anywhere on the plane."

Totally agree with that Hay and I think there should be some way of doing that.

We are going back to Disneyworld Florida next year and have paid for allocated seating in economy so I can sit upstairs Less seats, quieter, far few people queuing for the toilet.

As the rest of upstairs is premium economy you are with them for the first off the plane privilege and into immigration and your bags come off first too. Totally worth the money after a 9 hour flight to be at the front of the queue. And no, I wouldn't move, but then I am next to my children in the other 2 seats, Dh is across the aisle. He won't move either.

You cannot expect something for free when others have paid for it.

Cost £25pp (Virgin Atlantic) so £200 in total for both ways.

elderflowerlemonade your first post "If you need to be next to somebody then yes, you do need to pay for it." wasn't exactly rude, no. But it wasn't aimed at being helpful or actually addressing my question with any real thought. And your second response was sarcastic. I may not have come across well, but neither did you!

Claiming DLA isn't a small thing you know. It is a hard process, and not everyone who has a child with additional needs can fight all the battles they need to. As I said, we manage, and don't want handouts. I accept in this instance it would be useful (as it might pay for the cost of sitting together!), but I really don't have capacity to fight that fight just at the moment.

Unwilling is it £200 for both flights or £200 each way?

We are planning on flying with Virgin and I've been having a look but someone told me that it's £25 each per flight. So it would be £500 for us.

HayFeverHell - When I am traveling alone, I never pay for assigned seating. Frankly, I don't have any special requirements, so why bother? I have been happy to move because I never paid in the first place. There must be other people like me on the plane, surely? - often it is the case that it'll be fine, but if you are travelling to a holiday destination in the school holidays, there's a good chance the rest of the flight are holidaying families, who may have already paid. This is less of an issue if you are travelling turning term time to a business location.

it's the level of 'risk' you are taking.

Be aware with Virgin they do not provide a GUARANTEE with any seat preallocation - they often end up changing the plane (happened to us twice on the Florida run out of 4 trips/8 flights) The seating plan is different depending on the plane, so you can end up being "re-allocated" anyhow. They also "reserve the right to change your seat for any reason", even when pre-booked.

Actually, it was aimed at being helpful. Pagwatch also has a disabled child and has already said she pays for him to sit with her and the rest of the family.

My second response was flummoxed rather than sarcastic, as I really am lost as to why you've selected me to give smileys to and tell I am being unhelpful and rude and someone who doesn't care.

Yes, I do know just a little about claiming DLA. It isn't just about handouts and at the risk of another kicking I will politely point out that isn't the most tactful word but ensuring your son as the support he needs in school and - most importantly IME - as he makes the transition from child to adult.

Unfortunately 'ADHD without a diagnosis' is interpreted by the world at large as 'naughty kid.'

I think to expect people to move is wrong.

It always seems to be the family last on the plane with huge amounts of hand luggage who expect everyone to leap out of their seats for them. I think people who got there early and offered to reimburse people and buy them a drink when the cart comes round would be treated differently.

Some flights full of young families (2 adults 2 kids) can be really awkward, numbers wise.

Ruperta, I wouldn't move for you if I had paid to sit near my family, but I would look after your child during the flight and make sure they were okay - I think most people would do the same, because when it comes down to it, adults tend to care about kids.

I have no childrens but always book my seat. I want the peace of mind I won't be sat alone.

I can't believe anyone would not book then ask someone to move for them!

Children*

Very genuinely, how?

My 14 month old won't really be comforted by anybody she doesn't know and if I remember correctly this is consistent until they are 3 or even 4.

If a child has medication for ADHD they do have a diagnosis and I'd expect the airline to allocate them a seat for their needs without parents having to pay for it. That's accommodating disability and what they should do by law.

I cannot understand why it is OK to decide you don't want to pay for something, but then to expect to be able to kick off, and take that something from the person who has paid for it, because your decision has come back and bitten you in the bum!

If you decide not to pay for allocated seating, you know the risk you are taking! Don't expect people to give up something they have paid for, to mitigate the bad results of your decision.

My toddler loves strangers. She'd have a ball sitting next to someone new.

If yours doesn't, it is your responsibility to make sure they are sitting next to you.

I agree and I do. I just know full well that if she ended up shrieking anybody else's attempts to console her would be futile!

I pay for seat allocation but the price has never been as outrageous as £25 per seat per flight. That would mean an additional £200 on the ticket cost.

The answer is no, not at that price. If flight attendants want to spend their time taking my kids to the toilet, making sure they are not disturbing anybody for three hours, they are welcome to have them. I'll be over at 25C reading my Kindle, if anyone needs me.

elder - 14-month-olds sit on their parent's lap. You only get a seat for your child from the age of 2.

True. I'm thinking of 2 plus though - can't see DS aged 3 be enchanted by a strangers attempts to comfort him or any other child really.

Okay, well again ignoring the rudeness, the point I was trying to make is that whilst DLA is a pain to obtain, it is something the child is entitled to and it is hugely helpful in such situations. When I had a close relative with a disability (has since sadly passed away) the DLA opened all sorts of doors.

I assume you've followed talk guidelines about my 'trolling' talking Ruperta?

And it's actually quite unpleasant to be singled out and told to 'shut up' and told you have no empathy and don't care about disabled children.

Especially when I have not said a thing to warrant it.

I'm just saying that as, although I don't really like giving people the power, the fact I've been singled out here is pretty upsetting and I'm annoyed with myself for being upset about it but I must be hormonal or something. Part of me thinks I should hide the thread but then why should I because of other people's attitude problems?

And that's really the issue at heart isn't it? You move, you pay, you do as I want - shut up - and if you don't you're a nasty horrible person.

Telling someone with a son with ADHD that to the rest of the world they are 'just a naughty boy' is pretty bloody rude.

It would have been except that I didn't say that.

What I said was that DLA was hugely helpful as unfortunately without a diagnosis (and I am happy to concede I misread that part) the rest of the world saw ADHD type behaviour as being a naughty child.

Ruperta that would be very unpleasant but it's 100% not what elderflower said

Do grown ups tell each other to shut up? Is that a thing that's ok now?

This thread has now got quite heated as it sounds like earlier ones on the same topic did. lots of differences of opinion but how has elderflower become the villain?