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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not "get" charity sponsoring for marathons, bike rides, walking Great Wall of China or whatever?

136 replies

shirleybasseyslovechild · 17/06/2015 16:07

friend decides to run marathon " in aid of cancer" asks all friends on social media to donate .

???

I don't get this at all. ( I nearly always donate though)
run a marathon if you like.
give money to cancer research if you like. I'll do the same.

but why link the two ?

OP posts:
WalterShite · 18/06/2015 08:04

I do alot of sponsored "events" for charities, and I'm not afraid to publicise what I'm participating in, but I don't ask outright or put anyone on the spot to sponsor me. I make it known that I'm doing X event for Y charity and leave it at that, sometimes I post on facebook, sometimes I mention it in passing. People come to me if they wish to sponsor.

I don't buy into the ones that are essentially a holiday for the participant though, I do things that cost nothing to take part in so that all of my sponsorship goes to the charity.

SacredHeart · 18/06/2015 08:05

Just some food for thought, only 1/4 of the money raised in the London marathon goes to charity and if that an average 40p on the pound is actually going to charity work (the other 60 being advertisement and wages).

That's a lot of wasted donations. I suggest that people watch pink ribbons, inc - a documentary about how charities make "big business" out of fund raising and not a lot else.

jazzsyncopation · 18/06/2015 08:34

sacredheart that's awful! I too have often wondered about the T-shirt makers and advertisers and stuff making on all these events, BUT I'm sure LOTS/MOST of the participants all pay their own "jolly" costs themselves out of their own pockets

Mrsjayy · 18/06/2015 08:38

Our seniors at school have just gone abroad to do charity work ive bought raffle tickets and cakes etc etc ive recently learned that they are spending 2 days at the cjarity thing the rest of the time its a jolly im raging the blurb all year is about this great selfless thing they are doing blah blah they are going on a fucking safari holiday Angry.

MsPerfect · 18/06/2015 10:03

I think raising money for a charity that has helped you directly is fine. Particularly if they are a small local charity as they'll need the money and the exposure.

On the other hand I have a Facebook friend who seems to constantly be asking for money to sponsor her for her next trip to somewhere exotic. I can't remember the last time I saw a post from her that wasn't sponsorship related or her smiling happily from a country that I will probably never travel to. Once I can handle, but constantly? Nope. It's kinda crass.

TriJo · 18/06/2015 10:12

I've been running for 7 years, my husband for over 20 and we've done 14 marathons between us. There's no way in hell either of us could or would dare ask for sponsorship for a marathon, we're not comfortable with asking people to sponsor us to do something we clearly enjoy doing.

I also hate how much of a factor charity is in endurance sport in this country - a ridiculous number of spots in the London Marathon, RideLondon 100, Royal Parks half, Great North Run etc are reserved for charity places compared to the number of ballot spots.

Two aunts of mine are serial charity holidayers, they started about 15 years ago and they've been around the world in the name of their local children's hospital... and when they finally decided to run a marathon do you think they would do Dublin, their local one (and one of the best in Europe)? Hell no. New York, at the cost of €4,000 sponsorship each.

mistymeanour · 18/06/2015 10:18

When my Dd was at Uni she was constantly being asked by friends to donate to their "charity" trips to the Great Wall of China etc. She /we were really hard up and she felt under real pressure to keep in with her friends whilst not really being able to afford to give away money for trips she could never hope to afford. Most of her friends could never raise all of the £1500 or whatever the minimum was and it was made up by their well-off parents. My DD felt she was being asked to help out those richer than herself to have the trip of a lifetime

I think charities have lost their moral compass

Aeroflotgirl · 18/06/2015 10:26

Yanbu at all, it is really getting silly, all these JustGiving requests I am getting over Facebook, its going to cost a packet. I just sponsor my close friends.

knowsaymuhfuh · 18/06/2015 10:33

YANBU.

This is something for yourself, personal development, done in a good name.

The thing that annoys me is when people act like they are a saint for it.

Still, it raises money and awareness for that charity and that is ultimately the most important thing.

CatOfTheGreenGlades · 18/06/2015 10:34

I agree with some PPs, yes to a sponsored run or some such, or even a comedy stunt (some friends once did a sponsored 24-hour sci-fi-watching marathon :o) – I'll give you money for that, because you have to do something that we can have a vested interest in and it's like a focus for the fundraising, and - the key point - it doesn't actually coats a load of money to do.

But I do baulk at being asked to sponsor a trip to the Great Wall of China. That costs a bomb and I'm basically paying for you to have an exciting holiday while feeling smug about yourself because you've raised some money.

tictactoad · 18/06/2015 10:43

Ds ran the Brighton marathon this year. Yes, it was a personal goal but he wouldn't have got a place if he hadn't had a charity sponsor. He raised £400 which is £400 they wouldn't have had so I can't see a problem. Win win for everyone really.

I'd draw the line at subbing China or any other exotic destination though...

AnnPerkins · 18/06/2015 11:00

I did the Moonwalk last year, despite absolutely hating the idea, because my sister asked me at the time our mum was being treated for breast cancer. I thought it was something she really wanted to do and she wouldn't if I didn't do it with her.

It did involve a lot of long training walks, taking whole days out of weekends when DH and I were in the middle of a big conversion project at home. And it cost me a lot of money. I was stunned when I found it cost £50 just to enter, then there was the costume and the travel costs on top.

It is the only time I have ever asked for sponsorship and I found it a very uncomfortable experience. I hate asking for money, I'm conscious that people have their own personal ways of donating to charity, or not, it's their choice.

I have a big problem with the justgiving way of donating. There's no option to pay an amount per mile or whatever, just a total amount. And you have to pay it in advance, often you might never even know if they made it to the startline, never mind the finish.

I've had friends asking for sponsorship for the Race for Life who had no intention of training and trying to run it, these were fit women asking me to pay them money for walking three miles in a pink hat. They might just as well be shaking a collection tin in front of me for all the challenge they're undertaking.

chrome100 · 18/06/2015 11:04

I ran the Bob Graham round a few years ago (big fell run). During my training, my close friend's mother was diagnosed with a very rare form of dementia. I set up a just giving page and said if people wanted they could sponsor my run in aid of the charity that funds research into the illness. Many people were very generous, but I kind of used the run as a means of promoting the charity rather than it being a "sponsored run". I am not sure if that's wrong or not.

CrystalCove · 18/06/2015 11:34

And my husband put plenty photos on his facebook so people who sponsored him were well aware he had ran it and finished.

redshoeblueshoe · 18/06/2015 11:52

I think there is a very big dividing line here, I first encountered it when DD was abseiling for a charity that is very important to her. I saw a woman there that I knew, she went round all the charities stalls picking up leaflets on fun, exciting fundraisers The next day I bumped into her sister who told me that's how she finances her lifestyle.

So I think there are definitely both. I will happily sponsor anyone - and I don't care what they are actually doing - if they are doing it to raise funds for charity.

I won't sponsor anyone - if they are only doing it for their own pleasure.

Mrsjayy · 18/06/2015 11:59

I have no problem sponsoring prople forraces or whatever for a charity its these holidays wrapped up as charity i nearly posted on a fb status last night of a school parent that i hoped x had a nice african safari i am still midlyfurious about it !

jazzsyncopation · 18/06/2015 12:08

but does the[sometimes sizable] entrance fee for lots of these not go largely to the charity?

IAmAPaleontologist · 18/06/2015 12:15

the way i explain it to the kids is that to hey sponsorship you have to be doing something that is difficult for you, to set yourself a challenge and to put work into it. otherwise you are just asking people to give money and not giving them anything back in return. this came after school was fundraising for leprosy and sent the kids home with sponsor forms, convinced that they had to give £25 each and no information on what they were doing for the sponsor money. i sent a letter to the head informing them that brainwashing my children was not welcome at all and that they would not be donating. the next charity event was rather better!

for one person a marathon might be a doddle but for another a 5k is a massive achievement. a person scared of heights doing a sky dive would get my pennies but someone who does it as a hobby on a regular basis wouldn't.

in general i avoid sponsoring, dh and i work charity giving into our budget and have direct debits set up, giving to everyone who sets up a just giving page would eat into other budgets rather a lot. i do need to get on and sponsor a friend doing race for life though. her father has cancer, my mother recently was operated on and subsequently given the all clear for cancer. the friend running has ME so it is a real achievement for her to do a 5km run.

AnnPerkins · 18/06/2015 12:19

CrystalCove Of course. I did the same, and most people do. But what if someone doesn't finish? Or even start?

jazzsyncopation I believe the £50 entry fee for Moonwalk is purely for race costs, including wonderbra, tshirt, cap, raincape for every entrant plus all the necessary things like facilities, refreshments, security etc. You have to commit to a minimum amount in sponsorship on top of that.

Flambola · 18/06/2015 12:44

I'm running a 5K in August for SANDS, if anyone would like to sponsor me?

EddieStobbart · 18/06/2015 13:50

I sponsor marathons and "hard" challenges even if the people involved are keen on the specific activity involved anyway. One of my colleagues recently ran a marathon as the "eyes" of a registered blind runner and passed round the details of that person's Justgiving account (not his own).

I agree about the "Great Wall of China" etc business though I don't actually know anyone who has done anything like this - pay for your own holiday. It also bugs me when brands or retailers say "buy this specific product for £10 and we'll donate 10p to charity" - er, no, how about I don't buy it and give £10 to that charity instead? Or get something cheaper and give the charity the ( bigger) difference.

toomuchtooold · 18/06/2015 14:51

Totally agree OP, as does DH, who did the London Marathon a few years ago, because he wanted to do a marathon. After about 100000 people asked him what charity he was running for he decided he might as well use the chance to bother his well paid colleagues for some cash and picked a somewhat unloved charity to run for.

If you anyway are going on holiday to walk up Kilimanjaro or walk to John O'Groats or whatever I think there's no harm in trying to wring a bit of charity money out of your friends but as someone who genuinely likes long distance walking and trekking I find it all a bit odd really.

livedtotellthetale · 18/06/2015 15:47

My dd is off to Malawi next weekend for 8 weeks to teach and help with the construction of a under 5s clinic, a charity run by her Uni, She had to raise at least £750.00 to be able to go, all of that £750.00 goes towards materials and teaching aids while she is out there. She has to fund her own flights and kit and jabs, which she has worked for, and a bit of help from me.
My work donated some to the charity and and she bucket collected and asked a few friends and close family towards the donation. Its not a jolly and this charity has been massively helped by these volunteers in the past, It is not a charity that would appeal greatly but the work that has been achieved over the years by the volunteers has been massive.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2015 18:32

lived I feel a bit churlish saying this but presumably your DD at that age is not particularly qualified to build or teach. There are really quite a lot of African people, some of whom live in Malawi, who could work for a year (probably a lot more) for 750 quid. The Malawian GDP is under $200 FGS. Add the flights money and jabs and all the other money, you could employ several local people to build and teach for years.

I know why your DD would want to do this, I know why the charity supports it but it isn't approaching the most helpful or efficient.

I was bright-eyed and ignorant idealistic at that age. Thankfully my Cameroonian lecturer at University, when I said I wanted to go and work with an NGO in Africa, said, "why do you think you have so much more to contribute than the many Africans who are better qualified, know the culture better and need the work more than you?". Put me right in my place.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 18/06/2015 19:10

Our mission while at the orphanage was to build a library. Turns out that we, a group of highly educated private boarding school students were so bad at the most basic construction work that each night the men had to take down the structurally unsound bricks we had laid and rebuild the structure so that, when we woke up in the morning, we would be unaware of our failure. It is likely that this was a daily ritual. Us mixing cement and laying bricks for 6+ hours, them undoing our work after the sun set, re-laying the bricks, and then acting as if nothing had happened so that the cycle could continue.

Basically, we failed at the sole purpose of our being there. It would have been more cost effective, stimulative of the local economy, and efficient for the orphanage to take our money and hire locals to do the work, but there we were trying to build straight walls without a level.

That same summer, I started working in the Dominican Republic at a summer camp I helped organize for HIV+ children. Within days, it was obvious that my rudimentary Spanish set me so far apart from the local Dominican staff that I might as well have been an alien. Try caring for children who have a serious medical condition, and are not inclined to listen, in a language that you barely speak. It isn’t easy. Now, 6 years later, I am much better at Spanish and am still highly involved with the camp programing, fundraising, and leadership. However, I have stopped attending having finally accepted that my presence is not the godsend I was coached by non-profits, documentaries, and service programs to believe it would be.

You see, the work we were doing in both the DR and Tanzania was good. The orphanage needed a library so that they could be accredited to a higher level as a school, and the camp in the DR needed funding and supplies so that it could provide HIV+ children with programs integral to their mental and physical health. It wasn’t the work that was bad. It was me being there.

It turns out that I, a little white girl, am good at a lot of things. I am good at raising money, training volunteers, collecting items, coordinating programs, and telling stories. I am flexible, creative, and able to think on my feet. On paper I am, by most people’s standards, highly qualified to do international aid. But I shouldn’t be.

I am not a teacher, a doctor, a carpenter, a scientist, an engineer, or any other professional that could provide concrete support and long-term solutions to communities in developing countries.

www.one.org/us/2014/03/04/the-problem-with-little-white-girls-and-boys/

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