AIBU to not "get" charity sponsoring for marathons, bike rides, walking Great Wall of China or whatever?

[shirleybasseyslovechild]

friend decides to run marathon " in aid of cancer" asks all friends on social media to donate .

???

I don't get this at all. ( I nearly always donate though)
run a marathon if you like.
give money to cancer research if you like. I'll do the same.

but why link the two ?

I much prefer - as a fundraiser and a donater of funds, that charity fundraisers offer people something in return for their money. A chance to win a car, a quiz night, their car washed or their oven cleaned. There are myriad ways to raise money doing stuff FOR people, not getting people to pay you to do something for yourself.

I do not like sponsored events. I have raised a lot of money for various charities and not a sponsor form amongst them.

I have given money and time to charities and my heart sinks when someone asks me to sponsor them. I feel they are taking advantage of our acquaintance and are like chuggers. Anyone who knows me knows I am generous and wouldn't ask for yet more from me.

A large proportion of these events are there to fulfil an ego trip, if people wanted to they could donate frequently out their monthly salary instead of turning into a sing and dance for the world to see. It's one of the reasons I don't watch any of the tv celebrity fuelled charity events.

All of the recent charity sponsorship things I can think of recently, were done by people who had personal experiences which spurred them to want to a) raise money b) raise awareness and c) feel that they were 'doing' something, however small or large, in the face of huge personal tragedies. A friend who had a very aggressive cancer, a couple who lost their son to an aggressive brain tumour (who have raised £64,000 for 2 charities) and friends who lost their son 14 years ago and hold an annual charity event to raise awareness and funds. It has been hugely important to these people to fundraise for their chosen charity.

I hate it too - any fundraising that costs more to do than you raise is pointless...
So eg Crystal (sorry your post stood out) - you couldn't afford £500 but you did spend money on accommodation etc - which you could actually have just given directly to the charity... which along with whatever entry fee was paid by whoever (organising a marathon costs money too) was probably the same as the sponsorship...
Equally teen DD wants to do a charity fun run thing which costs £30 to enter -looking at the website the group organising it are not a charity, they are not even a 'not for profit' - they are a business who donate something like 5% of the profit from the event to the nominated charity.

I can even see similar in things like bake sales - where it costs you more to make the cakes than they sell for...you might as well as just donated the cost of the ingredients! (But I do get the point that people probably wouldn't hand over £10 instead of making fairy cakes...)

I can also see some of it is to act as a profile raiser for charities too -so you sponsor someone so then you have heard of that charity and think they do good things so are more likely to donate to them again...but actually if anything it makes me feel more negative about the charity (especially the ones that go through schools - where you are forced really to sponsor them or put your child in a difficult position)
I try not to give anything to big charities anyway...
I think they are organised like businesses...with generously paid staff and chief executives, PR etc - TV adverts are not cheap to make! Years ago I was involved with recruiting someone to fill a role in a small struggling local charity. We were paying what we could afford (£6.50ish an hour for a few hours a week)...someone already doing a similar job part time for a big charity enquired about it - they weren't interested - they were being paid £16+ an hour by the big charity.
Oh and another saying don't use Just Giving - like lots of similar sites it takes a cut out of donations (if you just read the donor bit it says your gift aid will cover it - it doesn't mention that the charity pays a fee to be a member too and the charity could claim gift aid in their own right!)
If you work for a charity I think its MSE -might be another similar website - has a comparison of donation collection sites and costs. I can recommend BTs MyDonate - they just take the cost of the card transactions (and they reasonable charges - few pence).

I agree with you OP and I've run marathons.

I have a policy of sponsoring people for their first marathon because I know how hard it is and I like to support their running efforts, more than the Charity TBH but other than that I always decline.

I never ask anyone for sponsorship for my or dc events either, I use the money I "saved" by not paying for others' holidays and leisure pursuits and write a cheque when me and mine are doing something for Charity.

As for Charity being personal, of course it is, so do something to raise money if you want to, but just expecting other people to hand over their cash because you're doing something that you wanted to do anyway and from which you gain great personal satisfaction but really doesn't matter to them, isn't the way to do it IMO.

Give them something of value, like clean their cars, bake some cakes, walk their dogs and if they need the service you can donate to your favourite charity.

So this shows a GWoC trek costs £1400 but the person can go free if they raise £2900.

So their friends donate £3k but only half of that goes to the charity, half of what people have donated is funding their trip of a lifetime - that is what people are objecting to.

A number of people have said that they paid their own fees which is great, but the majority do not.

I used to work with a married couple who each got a sponsored place to run the NY marathon - they were thrilled at the prospect of tagging on a week holiday as they didn't have to fork out for flights and they were keen runners anyway...no challenge...no personal love of a charity etc...just exploiting the generosity of their friends and family.

As the OP I have been accused of being:
Obtuse
Sneery
Goady
Childish

I am none of the above. Please think before you post. Those are very unkind remarks.

A few years ago I raised over £8000 by cycling 250 miles for a hospital charity. It was a massive effort and I don't regret doing it but would not do it again because after doing it I thought long and hard about the whole concept and it just seemed odd!
Garybaldy's ideas are great!
I am very moved by some of the personal stories here.
I started this discussion to provoke debate and it's very interesting to see all the views.

A lovely young relative recently ran the London marathon to raise money for the PDSA because she is dog mad.
It was a great achievement but I would not choose to donate to that charity because my life is blighted by my neighbours ( on all 3 sides ) barking shitting dogs ! But I felt bad about not donating because it felt like I didn't value her achievement. But I did ! Does that make sense ?

Adventurebee I really like your idea

Apologies shirleybasseyslovechild, I didn't see your title and only read your OP which started "friend decides to run marathon " in aid of cancer" asks all friends on social media to donate, I don't get this at all" - and that made me think you were being deliberately obtuse to not understand why someone would undertake a personal challenge to raise money for a cause close to their heart. I then caught your title and came on to point out my error, but now I can actually apologise to you directly!

I totally got the wrong end of the stick, apologies. You are neither goady or obtuse!

Stroke that was very gracious of you to apologise to the OP

Funnily enough I've started a bit of a fire with my own fundraising-related post on AIBU!

For me it depends on the circumstances. If someone asks me to sponsor them for something or other I nearly always do- the amount I donate varies though. If you're not a particularly close friend and you're climbing Kilimanjaro or some other amazing experience for a charity you don't really have a strong personal link with then you may only get a fiver. If it's something very meaningful to you (as mine is for me) then you'll get more.

The event I'm taking part in is being organised specially by and for the charity I want to support. It's a charity that helped to take care of my father when he was dying last year; the event itself is on Father's Day and I'd been looking for something positive to do on that day, so it seemed perfect. Still got people questioning my motives though!!

I think that's it though Torr, it's something you want to do, for reasons personal to you. Other people want to support charities that are personal to them, not necessarily the same one you do.

I think the original idea behind sponsoring someone for an activity was that someone important or at least known to you does something that requires an effort and you pay to see it. You know, like the headteacher is afraid of horses but agrees to learn to ride a horse to manage a trot round the school field on his own if the children pay. Or the vicar is afraid of heights and parishioners pay to see him absail from a bridge. Stuff like this. But I think it is authentic only if the activity is not excessively expensive.

But to use your examples Iona, why can't they do something useful rather than something pointless...so the Headteacher volunteers at a stable for ill-treated horses, the vicar cleans windows / clears gutters for the OAPs in his parish - still has the effort and overcoming a fear but also serves a purpose, which abseiling / horse riding doesn't.

People doing stuff they want to do anyway and saying it's for charity really irks me. Pay for your own cycling holiday around Vietnam.

In hindsight, I bet Hitler wishes he'd said he was invading Poland for multiple sclerosis, and then the British would have paid him to do it.

I don't have a problem with sponsoring people for things that they will enjoy like running or cycling etc but I really dislike sponsoring for things which are going to take a lot of money to do (great wall of china etc) as I feel that my money is being wasted and if they stayed at home and asked me to donate at least all the money would benefit the charity

I don't have a problem with sponsoring people for things that they will enjoy like running or cycling etc

I do. They should sit in a bath of cold baked beans for 24 hours like the good old days.

Hurray! I love MN. At last I've found some like-minded people!! Since my first pay cheque I've done lots of give-as-you-earn etc. I give to appeals and tin-shakers in the street. But I've finally got the confidence to say 'no' to sponsoring marathon runners and the like. IMO people want to do stuff like that for self fulfilment which is fine. Just don't pretend it's for charity. Otherwise I'd have had my offer of £10000 NOT to run the marathon accepted by someone supposedly raising £5k!

GaryBaldy, they could, but the point it that it's a fun event. People will gather to watch the vicar abseil from a bridge, they will rally round, have tea and cakes (cucumber sandwiches ), clap when he does it, take photos of how scared he was, there'll be an interview with him in the local paper. No one will want to watch him clean windows every Wednesday afternoon from 2-4, so nobody will pay for that. (And it wouldn't be an efficient use of his time either: he'd raise more with a 5-min absailing, then it's done and he can get back to his duties.)

Got sent an email from DS's school about a trip to Tanzania next year to do some charity work. Costs over £2,000 and the boys have to raise the money. Now cynical me thinks that if he wants to go to Tanzania, he can save up and go when he's older. Also, these travel companies are in business to make money and that it could be done a lot cheaper then more money would go to the charity.

I am baffled by this too. Those saying that running a marathon took a lot of effort - well, yes, I am sure it did but if you did an average of 6 hours training a week for 16 weeks, that is 96 hours which, in a minimum wage job, would pay you £624, more than some of you have raised through donations.

I don't want to have a go a specific posters and donations to charity are obviously a good thing but I think that sometimes the end result - of the charity actually getting the money - is lost. I have similar gripes about bake sales and that ridiculous thing last year about wearing a Christmas jumper where, in our office, you had to donate £2 if you wore a jumper you may have bought for that reason and which, even in somewhere like primark, would have cost £8 - £10 and that is without thinking about the working conditions of the people who made it.

We've had to put a ban on asking for donations at my work. It was constant 'sponsor me', every week there was another thing and people becoming quite forceful in expecting donations from everyone. Now, you can put a notice on the board, or a tin on the bench, but no asking. It's much more peaceful now, and I more pressure. You can donate to the people or charities you like, and ignore the rest, without having to justify your decision.