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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to challenge the myths about OCD?

87 replies

LittleMissIntrovert · 17/06/2015 16:04

As someone who has been suffering with OCD for over 25 years, I would just like to speak up about some of the common misconceptions.

There are different kinds of OCD, it's not just having an imaculate clean house. Some people are hoarders, and some can have a mixture.

I am a hoarder, I struggle to throw things away. I have some piles of clutter in my house, but nowhere near as bad as TV programs would have you believe Grin but I also wash my hands a lot, and am paranoid about germs from raw meat etc.

It's with me every day, and it's very overwhelming. It takes over.

I find it frustrating when people say they are a bit OCD because they have to have all their pegs the same colour for example. I know they don't mean it badly but it really minimizes a serious condition.

If anyone has any questions, or wants to share their experiences, please do.

OP posts:
Juliecloud · 17/06/2015 18:30

I tend to obsess over things like have I turned the gas off? If I get a thought like that when I'm out, I won't be able to stop thinking about it until I've got home and checked.
I'm also a hoarder and keep things just in case. When I watch these 'hoarder next door' programs, I often think I could easily end up like that if I'm not careful.
I don't know whether to go back to my GP. My hv referred me to my GP for the PND, then the GP referred me for CBT for that and the therapist says I have OCD. So far, I'm not finding the CBT helpful. There hasn't been anything about changing my way of thinking in 4 sessions.

ahbollocks · 17/06/2015 18:31

Im sooo glad people have mentioned intrusive thoughts! I have them horribley, much worse when im stressed. I also ' check' in multiples of threes, plug sockets and lights.

No one knows about my intrusive thoughts in real life. No one. I think even dh would be disturbed :(
It is for the most part under control but I cant watch tge news or read newspapers because it massively fuels the thoughts.
so yes, it does piss me off when people say they are 'a bit tinkly laugh ocd' about dusting their tv stand.

TheFairyCaravan · 17/06/2015 18:40

YANBU

DS1(20) had OCD about 8 years ago. We were very, very lucky. Our GP was incredible and referred him to CAHMs straight away, he had CBT for around 3 or 4 months and he has been fine ever since.

That was probably the hardest time of being a parent. The fear in his eyes if he couldn't wash his hands, trying to understand but him not being able to explain. It still makes me cry thinking about it.

We went through further hell, too, because he had always wanted to be a soldier and we didn't know if he'd be able to because of his OCD being on his records. I went through such guilt for taking him for help, but knew he needed it so badly at the time. Fortunately the army were fine as he has been well for over 7 years and he's now a soldier.

I don't think it's something any can grasp the impact of until they lived with it,

Lovepancakes · 17/06/2015 18:46

I'm keen to understand more as have family members I think may have OCD and sad reading about it as it sounds very difficult to have.

I'm interested how thoughts come beyond control as do you ever try to control your tendencies for example if you know you're a hoarder can you ever decide not to be and that it tires you and so you refuse to do it?

Sorry if it can't be explained. I have sometimes had an 'irrational' fear and battled to overcome it but maybe that's where the difference is, that it becomes too difficult?

Lovepancakes · 17/06/2015 18:48

I just read the post before mine and I hope haven't offended in my ignorance, it sounds heartbreaking and it must be hard when people don't understand

TheFairyCaravan · 17/06/2015 18:52

You haven't offended me lovepancakes. It was really hard for me, as a mum, because I didn't understand why DS1 couldn't just stop washing his hands every 2 minutes. He couldn't exlpain it to me, his hands were so sore, but he still needed to do it.

BillThePony · 17/06/2015 18:53

Drives me mad when friends go on about their "OCD" because they have it have a really clean cooker or something.

I have intrusive thought OCD, it torments me for weeks at a time.

LashesandLipstick · 17/06/2015 18:54

Pancakes

If you try to not do the compulsions, you get horrible anxiety. E.g

"If I don't click my fingers three times my husband will die and it'll be my fault"

Then you'll keep thinking he's dead. Every phone call you'll jump thinking it's someone telling you. He's 2 mins late home. OMG he's clearly died and its your fault. I'm a horrible person. I've killed my husband. I'm a monster I should be locked up. How am I going to cope? Oh god they'll take my kids. I've lost everything. Oh god I can't breathe help. No don't be stupid why would clicking fingers have anything to do with it? BECAUSE IT DOES IVE RUINED IT. I need to tell someone about this. I can't tell anyone they'll think I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Oh god I still feel like I need to click my fingers

And on. It's very difficult to ignore

PracticalFriend · 17/06/2015 18:57

I have ocd.

I obsessively obsess about things and have very disturbing thoughts. my house isn't tidy but some things have to be in the right place.

ahbollocks · 17/06/2015 18:57

Intrusive thoughta can be horrendous. Like I can be chatting away fine and all of a sudden imagine my friends throat being cut or imagine her being raped or her being carried out of a burning building and so on. I dont want anything bad to happen, would never hurt anyone but my brain just throws it out there. The mental images are disgusting.
I can in no way stop them entering than I could stop wondering if that salon in the high street offers eyebrow waxes or threading.
Does that make sense?

Lovewearingjeans · 17/06/2015 19:10

Hate the intrusive thoughts. Was really bad a few years ago, but no one linked it with OCD for me, just reading about it made me realise others suffer too. Have been on Citalopram for nearly five years, and have talking therapy about my anxiety. I am terrified about lessening the media, but hate taking them at the same time. Has anyone had any successful therapy to do with the thoughts?

Lovewearingjeans · 17/06/2015 19:12

Medication, not media. Though I do have to lessen news reports and Internet if feeling particularly sensitive to it all.

Lovepancakes · 17/06/2015 19:16

Thank you so much everyone for explaining as it sounds important to understand and support and I'll never use the term OCD loosely again.
It's helped me to understand more how very stressful having OCD could be and how tiring and hard. And Lashes I really understood from your explanation what it might actually feel like and quite humbled by what people here might be going through living with these feelings (I'd be so scared and controlled by that).

I still don't get the not being able to use my rational side to control the impulses eg if I felt the impulse to click my fingers was related to something bigger I would overtake this feeling by telling myself to stop being silly as it can't be related to anyone coming to harm. I'm in no way superstitious though, so do you think it's a bit like that? As I'd understand that better.

And hugs to everyone affected by this

Lovepancakes · 17/06/2015 19:17

I didn't mean really understood as I'm sure I can't but it helped is what I mean!

ahbollocks · 17/06/2015 19:22

I suppose pancakes it would be a bit like me telling you my gun had no bullets in, then asking you to let me fire that gun at your family. Would you let me? Even though I'd told you there was no bullets?
Its the tiny fraction of doubt that takes over and becomes omnipresent.
(Sorry for the horrible analogy there x)

Original poster
LittleMissIntrovert · 17/06/2015 19:26

The way I describe it, is that you get a thought that most people would be able to brush away, but I can't, and it escalates and escalates.

The more I try and stop the thoughts, the more anxious I get.

I still remember my mum telling me to go in my bedroom when I was younger, and said I wasn't allowed to wash my hands. I had to stay in my bedroom. I was very obsessed with hand washing (still am really) and to be told I couldn't was awful, I still remember it now. I know she was trying to be helpful at the time.

OP posts:
Lovepancakes · 17/06/2015 19:29

That makes sense. I guess my mind wouldn't allow that fraction of doubt and it does sound hard to have this. Thank you for answering my questions as has deepened my empathy / realisation what OCD can mean as often only the outside things show not the strain of it .

Original poster
LittleMissIntrovert · 17/06/2015 19:31

The thing is I know it's irrational, I know how ridiculous I sound when I explain it, but I can't stop the thoughts :(

I believe it's because the brain is wired differently?

I have a neighbor with OCD and we joke about it to each other, because we understand each other.

OP posts:
whooshbangprettycolours · 17/06/2015 19:37

I'm so please you post this OP. OCD is no badge of honour for those that suffer, but is bandied about constantly. People in my family suffer and it's awful.

I hope people here manage to get the support they need.

frankie001 · 17/06/2015 19:47

Ocd sufferer here too. Based around germs, and I avoid cleaning so I don't have to deal with them. Got really bad to the point where I have had 2 six month periods off work.
As its germ anxiety I was washing hands till my hands bled, would buy new clothes as I didn't trust the washing machine to get them clean. Am much better now but am confronted with it constantly, but I have come through the other side to a point where I can function and continue to work as a nurse. I have a specific way of doing things, like I can't just come home from work and sit on the bed, I have to have a shower first, clothes that I've worn go straight into machine. I also have clean and dirty (in my ocd head) areas of my flat.
I'm never going to be cured, there will also be an element for me, its just means I have to work hard to stay functional and recognise if things are heading out of control.
A very good support network has been invaluable.

manicinsomniac · 17/06/2015 19:48

I think YANBU if it annoys you.

But personally, I like it. I like the idea that you can be 'a bit' mentally ill - it normalises it and makes it 'ok'/not something worthy of gossip.

Just look at the number of people on this thread who say they or their partner have OCD - it's highly unlikely that all of them are correct in having the full blown, debilitating mental illness. Some of them probably have an OCD type personality or touches of OCD etc - and I think it's good and healthy to be able to say those things in society and have people know what you mean and see it as nothing to be ashamed of.

I have diagnosed anorexia and cyclothymia ( a 'mild bipolar'). I wish more people talked about disordered eating and bipolar personality type (which I see as the anorexic and bipolar versions of being 'a bit OCD'). I hate that I feel ashamed of my conditions and that they are seen as unusual - they really aren't. I wouldn't object to the phrase 'a bit anorexic' for someone who was struggling with controlling thoughts and fear over food and weight gain at all.

I also believe I may have BPD and OCD but I am not diagnosed with them so, if I do, then they are 'a bit of'/ 'a touch of'/ 'slight' versions - which, imo, is okay to think.

badtime · 17/06/2015 20:01

Lovepancakes, I think you've slightly misunderstood about the doubt.

People with OCD don't accept the doubt, and the compulsions are basically trying to eliminate it. People without OCD don't need this certainty, so they don't have to check and recheck and seek reassurance and do magic rituals to make sure that everything is okay and I won't stab myself in the eye with a red-hot poker (to use one of my less disturbing intrusive thoughts). You would probably need a real threat to get the same sort of concern about the slight element of doubt.

The difference is in the significance you give to the initial thought. I might panic because my hands might have touched something that touched something that touched something that I considered contaminated (because then something terrible will happen). Knowing that there is an (unknown) dog which may or may not bite alone with your child might make you feel the same.

ahbollocks · 17/06/2015 20:32

Badtime- that is exactly it. If I can eliminate my doubt by saying the lords prayer and checking all plugs and locks in 3's or multiples of 3 then I feel safe.
Mine waa triggered by deaths and a house fire and miscarriage.
Seems to me that if something traumatic happenroto me it kind of is stuck on a loop and snowballs.

duplodon · 17/06/2015 20:40

I don't know why you'd think that it's unlikely that everyone here has "ful blown" OCD manicinsomniac, it's a huge site with a massive membership and OCD is not uncommon as a presentation in terms of mental health I think? I had a full psychiatric diagnosis and review, CPN, 30 sessions of CBT and then I moved away from the UK. So I definitely did have the full shebang.

SargeantAngua · 17/06/2015 20:42

Oh badtime your second paragraph is so similar to my ocd. The 'terrible consequence' for me is the crippling anxiety that overtook me when my ocd was at its worst, when I was waking myself up in the night panicking any things id touched during the day, when I'd suddenly become hyper aware of everything and anything that might possibly be dirty and the world suddenly became a terrifying place that I was contaminating daily by everything I did. It's very hard to fight when you actually know the worst can and has happened!